Aaron Rodgers Might Be Shaving His Beard Soon

Rodgers Munn

The juiciest sports chatter of the day has to be that superstar QB Aaron Rodgers’s relationship with sex symbol Olivia Munn is ‘on the rocks’.  For those of you who are new to sports gossip, the reason this is interesting to talk about is because Aaron Rodgers most likely never loved Olivia Munn in the first place.  Because he’s not into women.

While it’s not 100% proven that Aaron Rodgers is gay, there are still many stone cold facts that lead any reasonably intelligent human to believe he is.  Let’s quickly review everything we learned in 2013

  • Rodgers had an openly gay roommate for several years
  • His relationship with this roommate was more than the typical ‘close friendship’ (for example, he was the first person Rodgers sought out and hugged after winning the Super Bowl)
  • This roommate moved back to California in the summer of 2013, told everyone he had just gone through a rough breakup, and sent cryptic tweets to Rodgers, mentioning that “Silence always comes with an expiration date…”
  • Sources claimed that their breakup was precipitated by Rodgers backing out of a planned NFL outing that summer.

Rodgers denies everything, but that could also mean he’s just like the hundreds of other gay professional athletes that opt to stay in the closet rather than have their private lives under the extreme scrutiny of the insufferable masses across America.  With what we absolutely do know right now, I think it’s safe to say that it’s ‘more probable than not’ that…

Umpire Meme

Seinfeld not that theres anything wrong with that

Some people may wonder, if the rumors are true, what could Munn possibly have to gain from being Aaron Rodgers’s beard.  That’s a valid question.  I don’t know much about Munn myself, but one of my ex-girlfriends who is a huge Packers fan says that she is really into experimental sex and dating someone like Rodgers makes it easy for her to get double teamed and have a lot of group sex.  That makes sense.  Oh yeah and obviously there is the insane amount of branding opportunities this gives her.  That’s pretty clutch for a C-List actress…

Now let me be clear.  I have no beefs with what Rodgers decides to do in his private life.  It’s 2015; acceptance is in and bashing is out.  Does that mean we’re gonna refrain from gossiping about the best quarterback in the NFL?  Fuck no.

So on to the latest news…  After one year of dating, it looks like the two have had “too many fights to count”, and that Munn “freaks out and flies off the handle for no reason and gets really jealous.”  Yikes.  Even if Rodgers was really into Munn (which he could possibly be, but we’re assuming he’s not…), that spells breakup all over it.  Also, apparently Munn made Rodgers come visit her on set of X-Men: Apocalypse.  Bad move Olivia…  Your boyfriend is a superstar quarterback.  You can’t tell him what to do.  Unless she has some dynamite blackmail material, it looks like she’s well on her way back to irrelevance.  What a blown opportunity…

By the way, I don’t want to get into the habit of bringing up Deadspin on every single post, but I do need to point out how much of a pussy Tim Marchman was in his coverage of the Rodgers outing.  Really?  He said on a radio show that he’s not gay so therefore it’s definitely not true?  God what a chickenshit take.  That’s like a reporter in the 90s saying Bill Clinton never had any side pieces because that’s what he said in a nation address.  Also, it’s quite ironic that Marchman made that post on New Year’s Eve of 2013.  Yeah, Deadspin thinks it’s inappropriate to gossip about Aaron Rodgers in the same year that they had no problem with ruining Manti Te’o’s life…  Fuck them.

PS – Did anybody catch this tweet from Rodgers’s (alleged) ex-boyfriend after the NFC Championship game last January?

Lanflisi Tweet

Boom roasted.

PPS – Now that Rodgers is supposed to have more control over play calling this year, do you think we’re gonna see a lot less shotgun and more plays from under center?  Just curious.

Aaron Rodgers Might Be Shaving His Beard Soon

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