Just want to get this out there before Game 3 begins tonight – anyone who thinks this series is actually gonna be a sweep or end in 5 has no idea how this league works.  The Dubs won’t be able to so much as breathe on LeBron tonight without giving up free throws.  I honestly don’t understand how everyone doesn’t know this by now.

The NBA fanboys always whine about NFL officials and they don’t know the rulebook.  Yeah the catch rule may be confusing on a play once every few weeks or so, but a controversial foul call happens every few possessions or so in a basketball game.  I still don’t know what the actual definition of the rule is for it and have never heard one from an NBA fanboy either.  It is the most easily rigged game of all the sports and it happens so often.

Why did Tim Donaghy go to jail?  Because he rigged games.  Why did the Kings get fucked?  Cuz they don’t make as much money as the Lakers.  Same goes for the Suns. Mark Cuban was a cocky little shit that the owners hated, so Stern starts rigging the 2006 series to take his title away.  The lottery this year?  Oh my god that was rigged so hard.  Gonna be such a windfall for the Celtics and Sixers to have super teams while the Lakers escape their fate of being fucked forever.  This was almost as obvious as the Ewing lottery.  Almost.  And yes LeBron fanboys, last year was a put up job as well.  A damn successful one at that.

The Warriors have been blowing everyone out of the water yet are only favored by three tonight.  Seems sketchy as fuck unless you use your brain.

I wrote a Champions League prediction in February and touted Juve at 12:1 odds as insane value (with Madrid as the only other team worth betting on).  I usually say hedging is for cowards, but this time I had to be a coward and throw down some on Madrid because Zinedine Zidane scared the fucking shit out of me.

With the amount of money and resources Madrid gets to throw around, they should be winning this tournament every single year.  More often than not, however, they ended up failing.  It seemed every legendary coach that came through (Pellegrini, Mourinho, Ancelotti, Rafa Benitez) left after a short, underwhelming stint without ever getting through to the players.  That all changed last January when Zidane came on board, and now the rest of the soccer universe is fucked.

For the first time, these Madrid players are getting managed by someone who is just as rich and more famous than they are.  He has credibility that no other current manager will ever have.  He’s currently 2 for 2 in Champions League conquests, and I don’t see this streak stopping any time soon.  When a team this expensive and this stacked is able to actually start clicking, everyone else is fucked.

Ronaldo’s transformation is also huge here.  Up until last year, Ronaldo was always the clear #2 behind Messi.  Now, the debate is much more open.  A big reason for that is Ronaldo’s sudden emergence as a great leader and the way he rallied Portugal to a shocking Euro Cup title.  He was always perceived as a petulant little shit whose arrogance and selfish play got in the way of team results, but that’s all gone out the window by now.  No way this happens without Zizou’s mentorship.

We’re legit on the verge of seeing a Phil Jackson type run here.  I can’t think of anyone better suited to manage a team of superstars in soccer, and I can’t think of any reason that Madrid won’t go on the runs that the Bulls and Lakers did.  It was fun betting on other teams while it lasted, but from now on investing your life savings into Madrid futures is the way to go.  They’re never losing again.

Rejoice, fellow Rangers fans!  Finally, that sack of shit Sam Dyson has been canned.  It couldn’t have come soon enough.  Apparently he was weeping as he cleaned out his locker, but you won’t find one shred of pity coming from me.

Never in my life as a baseball fan have I seen someone singlehandedly implode a season the way Dyson has.  On opening night, he came on in the 9th and got shelled for three runs to ruin the game.  In the three subsequent save opportunities he had, he went out and blew all three saves.  Two of them were with three run leads and the other with two.

We finally demoted him once his ERA ballooned to 27.00(!), and then he started ruining games for us as a middle reliever.  On May 7, he blew open a 3-0 lead at Seattle.  Last Wednesday, we were on our way to beating Chris Sale in Fenway until he got the nod with a 3-1 lead in the 7th – 4 hits, 3 walks, 5 runs, 0 outs…

Jesus christ he fucken sucks so god damned much.  Any time I saw him warm up in the bullpen, I developed this feeling of despair akin to the morning after a night of meth-laced drugs.  They say we’re trying to trade him, but at this point he is more worthless than the bag of bats that minor leaguer once got traded for.  The way Dyson fucked our season up, I honestly wouldn’t feel bad if he OD’d just like that bat kid as well.

With a third of the season gone and over 20% of our losses solely attributed to Sam Dyson sucking dick, it feels good to finally turn the page for good and start enjoying some winning.  Tonight, the Astros are rolling into town with all their springtime champion smug.  It’s time to do what we always do to these cocky little shits – beat them down like the bitches they are.  The series odds have us at +150 and I can’t conceive of an easier way to pay for your weekend shenanigans.  Darvish vs Keuchel game 1.  Let’s fucken go!

Two sites that I used to love reading and now love to hate-read decided to get in a blog war yesterday.  It would’ve sounded unfathomable five years ago, but this was one of the most depressing media beefs of all time.  Unfortunately, these sites have fallen a long way.

It started with a Rihanna ‘fat shaming’ blog on Tuesday morning that Pres decided to remove later in the afternoon.  Anyone with a brain knows that it was censorship from Chernin, and it’s exactly the type of bullshit PC censorship that Barstool used to be a haven from.  It’s sad to see them stoop so far from these glory days…

Continue reading “Deadspin and Barstool Have a Sad Feud” →