Super Bowl 55 Was an All-Time Put-Up Job (Film and Metric Analysis)

Every regular season of my lifetime has featured outrage over ‘existential penalty crises’, yet nothing but crickets when this happens in a Super Bowl? Astounding.

Contrary to popular belief, the Chiefs title defense looked very promising for awhile.

Defense started with a 3-and-out and a 4-and-out, including a sack. Not bad!

Offense sputtered to only a three point lead but no biggie because they always start playoff games slowly.

Then a record was set that nobody is talking about…

90 Chiefs penalty yards in the second quarter – a Super Bowl record and the most by any team in any quarter since Week 1 of 2018.

It also had them in 20th place already for most penalties for any team in any game all season.

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Film Analysis

These are the types of calls that cause a team to double their season average for penalty yards (48.7) in just one quarter.

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It was triple the average of playoff penalty yards per team (30.8).

Mostly because all the other playoff games were called more like this…

First stalled series of the game. Either the most blatant hold we’ve seen so far or a 15 yard face mask.

Third and four after the goal line stand. Huge turn in the game – 9.6% win probability swing.

Didn’t affect the game much but two holds in one gif… unreal!

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Metric Analysis

The overturned Honey Badger pick alone should’ve been enough to stir up a storm, but the rest of the calls were undoubtedly impactful as well…

If you look at the top ten most impactful plays for the Bucs offense, five of them were penalties.

Four consecutive Bucs drives ignited by penalties – three for TDs and one for a goal line stand that stalled the next Chiefs drive (with the help of that Kelce non-call).

The metrics are clear. Penalties ended this game by halftime.

Too big a deficit and too little time to activate a run game, so pass rushers were teed off against backup blockers with extra bodies flooding the secondary.

The Chiefs were tactically fucked.

Game over. Lombardi to the Tampa Bay Zebrucs.

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‘All Star Crews’

Rick Gosselin was the only reporter man enough to call this out and that’s why he’s the bro king we don’t deserve.

He says the flags were a result of a season long grading process to select an ‘all star crew’ led by Carl Cheffers.

Coincidentally, Carl Cheffers has thrown more flags against the Chiefs by one full standard deviation (I calculated) compared to the rest of his games since the time Travis Kelce said “he shouldn’t even work at fucking foot locker”.

However, the Super Bowl ‘all star crew’ is not determined solely by season long grades – they are just one factor along with ‘intangibles’ to group officials into three different tiers.  Then, the league picks refs from tier 1 as they please.

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In 2018, the league took an unprecedented step of using an ‘all star crew’ for Monday Night Football. I wrote back then that it was the only other time I unequivocally believed the NFL tampered with a game.

Originally scheduled for Mexico City, the league switched that Chiefs-Rams mega matchup to ‘neutral site’ LA Coliseum and swapped out the refs for a hand-picked ‘all star crew’.

They threw nine flags on KC in the first quarter alone and let the Rams false start every single play. It was an obvious put-up job.

Especially under the circumstances of LA’s stadium PSL push…

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Unprecedented Times for Tampering

The SoFi stadium PSLs were chump change compared to what the NFL faced this year – a 2-3 billion dollar shortfall.

If we had to rank all of the Super Bowls in order of most to least likely to be tampered with, this year wins by a landslide.

Imagine you take a time machine to 2019 to tell your past self to hammer Brady and Bucs futures. Explain how the world got fucked and cash was getting crunched and watch your past mind get blown away.

Would 2019 you, knowing everything you know about NFL owners, believe that this situation was heavily prone to tampering? Absolutely.

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And if you’re an NFL owner, which result brings more money to stop the bleeding?

  1. A repeat champion from a flyover market that’s been fully saturated, or
  2. A franchise from an affluent, fair weather fan market with a QB that has the east coast wrapped around his finger

The answer is obvious, especially when you consider the location of the Super Bowl and the stakeholders involved from my great state of Florida…

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The Glazer Family

Everyone overseas knows their soccer team’s matches have been rigged since the covid restart…

The last time the Glazers watched their NFL team in the Super Bowl, they won a game that was definitely thrown by the other side to spite Al Davis.

Malcolm Glazer was never a coward and his family follows in his footsteps well.  They’re not afraid to be conduits of chicanery, especially in their home stadium.

(Side note: this interview a couple weeks ago is awesome)

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God Governor Ron DeSantis

This guy is a god governor. Not merely good – god. I imagine this conversation took place word for word recently…

DeSantis: Hey Commissioner, my state has three NFL franchises that allowed fans in their stadiums all season long.  You’re also welcome for our Super Bowl host site in what is by far the most accessible state in the country for commerce.

Goodell: You’re right. The owners are very thankful for that much needed boost in revenue that they all share.

DeSantis: So if one of our teams makes the Super Bowl, I expect a little favor in return for the huge favors we’ve been giving the league.

Goodell: You’re right sir! I’ll have a special ‘all star crew’ standing by for our favorite state.

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Tom Brady

Once again lifting a trophy earned under dubious circumstances. The true master of the dark arts.

At this point, you just have to respect it as a privilege for a goat. He earned it. Hat tip to the goat…

And hat tip to the NFL as well for playing America like fools. I’m honestly impressed.

Super Bowl 55 Was an All-Time Put-Up Job (Film and Metric Analysis)

The Real Death Star Is the Dallas Cowboys Stadium

The Vegas Raiders are trying to brand their new stadium ‘The Death Star’ and I’m having none of that.

There is only one Death Star and it’s right outside of Dallas. There is only one Empire team and that’s America’s Team. Fuck this noise.

Everyone in Dallas has been calling our stadium the Death Star since day 1. The UnTicket explains the origin (and also is where this badass cover image came from).

Early in 2009, months before the stadium first opened, the Cowboys changed their flagship radio station from The Ticket (a legendary radio station) to The Fan (a trash radio station).

As part of the move, Jerry had to fire Ticket morning host George Dunham (co-host of the tweeter above) from his stadium PA job and replace him with a host on The Fan. It was bullshit because Dunham had been awesome at that job for years, and long before the Ticket had flagship rights as well.

Those morning show hosts found a way to exact revenge through the Death Star moniker, and it’s stuck ever since. It’s an awesome nickname that we should all be proud of.

Fuck you Jerry. We don’t have to call it Jerry World. Thanks for building a beautiful Death Star, Jerry.

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This must’ve seethed our owner more than I realized because Jerry is 100% behind this new Vegas branding. Mark Davis is a puppet owner of the new stadium, while Jerry is the real owner.

It was Jerry who made the move to Vegas happen, secured $650M in crucial financing from Bank of America, and is running all suite and sponsorship sales.

Jerry thinks that by having Mark Davis run with this Death Star schtick in Vegas, we might be forced to stop saying it back in Dallas. Again, I’m having none of that. Fuck off Jerry. Be a better emperor.

The Real Death Star Is the Dallas Cowboys Stadium

NFL Lock of the Week: Washington +7 at Arizona

For most of the first half last week vs philly, the Washington Football Team looked as terrible as the redskins were back in the day. Then they flipped a switch and let loose some pure domination.

27 unanswered points (could’ve been 34 if they didn’t kneel out a garbage time goal-to-go series). Eight sacks. EIGHT!

That defensive front I was talking about on season’s eve looks more than legit. Unfortunately, the offensive front looks bad. According to PFF grades, it’s like all time reeaallyy baaddd, especially in pass blocking. 

Haskins is gonna need to exercise this type of leadership on their offensive counterparts…

Until then, he can use his legs and the west coast scheme that worked very well last Sunday.

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Washington opened at +6.5 and is now at the key number of +7 vs Arizona this afternoon. This is my lock of the week.

Obviously, I’ve been a fan of Washington since preseason and expect their good play to continue. Arizona, on the other hand, seems to be the darling sleeper team amongst NFL fans and I disagree with that.

The first reason is coaching. As a native North Texan, I’ve seen enough Texas Tech to know how this road with Kliff Kingsbury goes. Coach Bro comes out all handsome and cocky looking, puts up a ton of points with an exciting young quarterback, and then loses a ton.

Kliff is the definition of ‘failing upward’. Every Tech fan and follower knew he needed to be fired and take a step down as a coordinator somewhere else in the college ranks. Instead, an NFL franchise hires him as head coach because…

Unbelievable. Not only the hiring itself, but also how oblivious NFL fans are to how bad it was is so unbelievable. 35-40 record at Texas Tech, including a 12-13 run over two full years with PATRICK MAHOMES as a starter.

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Now Kliff has a different QB, another young fan darling in Kyler Murray. I get the infatuation, kind of… He’s presumably a faster Russell Wilson, but he’s also a tinier Russ who will probably get hurt.

Kyler is another Texas product and anyone who’s been following him from the beginning knows that, with the exception of one year at A&M, he’s found himself in a golden situation every step of the way.

He never lost a game in high school, but he played on a team with 3rd stringers that were better than most starters in the state. There’s a reason Allen High School spent $60M on their stadium plus another untold amount in illegal recruiting of players like Kyler.

Kyler did win a Heisman in college after a sick year under Lincoln Riley, but who hasn’t done that these days?

This may be fairly subjective in analysis, but it’s one I’m pretty confident in it. I have a relative who played (started) on one of Kyler’s previous teams. This relative never says anything bad about anyone, ever. But he doesn’t have anything nice to say about Kyler. That’s enough for me.

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Washington +7 = LOCK

Give me the +275 money line too

NFL Lock of the Week: Washington +7 at Arizona

Is Cam a Beast Again or Does the Dolphins Run D Just Suck?

New England rushed a whopping 62% on first down last week. That ranks them first in the league after week 1, with the next closest team being LA Rams at 48%. The Pats had 42 total rushing attempts and just 19 pass attempts (69% running, nice).

This flies in the face of most anal ytic pundits. They claim that failed runs stall drives more often than failed passes, especially when those failed runs come on first down and the defense gets to pin their ears back.

But Belichick puts zero stock in their studies. He doesn’t care, and it usually works out for him. He knows of the two key variables that throws wrenches into the nerd-speak.

One, obviously, is the fact that running well makes it easier to hold leads. Take time off the clock, rest the defense, etc.

The other is the X factor you get when activating a QB as a run threat. Forcing the LBs to key on an extra player and having RB lead blockers will flip the script in trench battles.

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When Cam is healthy, he’s one of those rare QBs that can throw (run?) the analytics playbook off the table. He had 15 rushes for 75 yards compared to 15 total pass completions. He also had double the amount of rushing yards that most anyone else in the game had (Miles Gaskin had the next most with 9/40 for Miami). He looked vintage on Sunday.

Well, kind of vintage. He wasn’t quite as explosive as his 2015 days, and he might have just benefited from the Dolphins horrid rush defense. The Miami Herald put out a fairly hilarious article on this after the game.

The Fins invested hundreds of millions into defense during free agency, but most of that was allocated to secondary and pass rushers. They had 11 draft picks, but only used one on a run defender – Bama DT Raekwon Davis in the 2nd round.

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So was this an opponent-based scheme by Belichick, or is this how the Pats are gonna go all season? We’ll have to wait and see. The upside with Belichick’s brain and Cam’s legs seems limitless, but there is a huge downside – health.

Norv Turner tried to turn the Panthers scheme into more short-passing based and less QB running to protect Cam. But Cam didn’t want to do that, so they stayed the course. The result? Cam got killed.

By the end of Cam’s tenure in Charlotte, he had to be pulled for hail marys, All or Nothing doc footage showed him looking completely fucked, and he was shot putting throws left and right (and up and down) all over the field…

Shoulder = SHOT

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But he’s had some rest now and is 100% fresh. Maybe it holds up for a whole season. If he was on any other team, I might even be cheering for that to happen.

Is Cam a Beast Again or Does the Dolphins Run D Just Suck?

Tulane and the U Can Carry Today’s College Slate Just Fine

Everyone is whining about the college football slate today, saying it’s boring and there’s only one ranked game etc. First of all, see above. Second of all, that ranked game involves The U. So as far as I’m concerned, today is going to be awesome.

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Tulane -6.5 vs Navy

Two words – triple option. Navy’s got the classic scheme; Tulane’s got the spread. Old school vs new school in football tactics that you’ll never see in the NFL.

Tulane -6.5 is the obvious play here. We’re on the up-and-up and should be in semi contention for the AAC this year. The new QB is a redshirt senior transfer from Southern Miss, Keon Howard. He’s pretty sick.

They struggled for a bit last week at South Alabama, but were lights out the entire 4th quarter in a comeback. It was probably just a case of rust and covid-practice-anxiety, as South Alabama had already played their first game a week earlier.

Speaking of covid-practice-anxiety, Navy had the worst training camp in all of NCAA. They didn’t have any spring or summer workouts, and the practices they managed to have were entirely non-contact.

Last Monday on ESPN, they got murdered 55-3 by the Mormons at BYU. Oof. They’ll get better by end of season, but it’s gonna take some time.

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#17 Miami +1.5 at #18 Louisville

This will be on during the Stanley Cup Finals so it will be intermission watch only for me, but I’m still pretty stoked. It is a quasi play-in game for the ACC championship vs Clemson.

The U has a stout defense as normal under Manny Diaz, but now they have themselves a King at QB. D’eriq King. I wrote about him last year when he was at Houston and saw his last game for the Cougars at Tulane. He’s fucking good.

One of the best Texas high school quarterbacks ever and has done nothing but make plays in the college ranks. Miami is the perfect home for him. For a good read on him, check out ESPN’s compelling feature from preseason.

All of his plays last week vs UAB are here. A little bit of jitters to work out, but very good overall.

Louisville on the other hand I don’t know much about. If they still had Bobby Petrino, I would be scared. But they don’t, so I’m not.

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North Texas +14.5 vs SMU

I wrote about these two Dallas area teams in my week 1 betting picks. I was hyped for both of them going into the season, but SMU eking out a win vs Texas State was unimpressive to say the least. UNT looked good though. Take them with the two touchdowns in points at home.

Tulane and the U Can Carry Today’s College Slate Just Fine

Flashback Friday: Falcons Have Never Recovered From Drew Pearson and the ‘Duel in Dixie’

Next up for America’s Team this week is the Falcons, but my time on this Earth hasn’t seen any notable games between us.

There was the Chaz Green game a couple years ago when Jason Garrett had no clue what to do without Tyron Smith, but who cares about that.

There was also a pretty close SNF game back in 2012, but it’s not really that interesting. Just your standard run-of-the-mill Romo ‘almost beating but not actually beating a top team’ game.

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Instead, we’re gonna flash back to an era before my time – the 1980 Divisional Round ‘Duel in Dixie’ that my elders rave about to this day.

The reason we’re highlighting this game? Because it was one of the best performances of this man.

Some fucking bullshit. Iconic receiver for the most iconic franchise in the league. You can’t write the history of the NFL without him. FIRST TEAM ALL DECADE!

Ridiculous. Anybody involved in letting this atrocity happen should hang themselves. Fuck the east coast media.

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Anyway, this ‘Duel in Dixie’ must’ve been epic to live through. Danny White led a 14 point 4th quarter comeback to win and advance us to the conference championship.

I know it’s always been easy to mount playoff comebacks against the Falcons, but this one is still damn impressive. Super jealous of my elders who lived in the 80s and enjoyed a full decade with a quarterback who kept his cool in big games.

I’ve seen enough of this one to easily conclude that Danny White is at worst the 3rd best quarterback in Cowboys history.

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Drew Pearson on the other hand – top tier icon. Holy cow he was a beast, especially in clutch time. These may not be his famous Hail Marys, but they were still some pretty damn sweet (and historic) touchdowns. Both came in the final five minutes…

Touchdown #1

Those hands man! Incredible catch.

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Touchdown #2:

What. A. Body. That safety knocked himself out and Pearson didn’t even budge. 

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It’s astonishing that he isn’t in the Hall of Fame. Fortunately, the senior committee has grown tired of the media’s garbage and stepped up to save America’s icon.

Drew Pearson is the only player on the senior nominee list this year and is basically guaranteed a hall of fame bust in 2021. Thank god.

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PS – Too Tall Instincts

The wildest play of this game occurred in the 3-and-out defensive stand that we needed in between those two touchdowns. On 3rd and 3, Ed ‘Too Tall’ Jones jumps offside and takes himself way out of position. 

But it actually put him in perfect position to blow up the lead blocker and get us the ball back. Lucky as hell, but awesome.

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PPS – Danny White Punts

This is Danny White punting. Pretty cool. I wonder if he was skilled enough to handle other special teams duties, like catching and holding a routine field goal to not fuck up the entire season. The world may never know.

Go Cowboys!

Flashback Friday: Falcons Have Never Recovered From Drew Pearson and the ‘Duel in Dixie’

Flashback Friday: Comparing the Dream Crushing Hit Sticks of Sean Taylor and Jalen Ramsey

As much as I hate getting screwed over by a pussy ass flop, I have to admit that Jalen Ramsey is an all time GREAT. He is worth every cent of that $100M deal and it showed on Sunday night.

He not only has a physical edge over every single receiver in the league, but he’s also leagues above the rest in the mental game. Listen to his immediate reaction after presumably getting beat on that sensational Dak to Gallup pass…

“Thank you. Thank you. Yeeeaaaahhh!!” Immediately after the play ends. 100% swagger. We haven’t seen a CB this brash since the days of his fellow FSU alum Neon Deion Sanders.

Unlike PrimeTime though, Jalen Ramsey has a hit stick…

Jesus what an incredible play. Goooood lord.

It’s reminiscent of a play from 15 years ago that haunts my dreams to this day. The culprit? The late, great Sean Taylor. So here is an impromptu Flashback Friday post to commemorate.

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Background:

Monday Night Football of Week 2 in 2005. The Triplets were inducted to the Ring of Honor at halftime. It was looking to be a great night for Cowboy nation, with our boys holding down a 13-0 lead that was much more dominant than the scoreline indicated.

Four minute drill for the skins. 35 year old Mark Brunell scrambles for 25 yards, and then throws 40 yard TD bomb to Santana Moss. 13-7.

Skins get a stop, and then first play after getting the ball back it’s another Brunell to Moss TD bomb, this time for 70 yards. 13-14. Oh fuucckk.

But we get a kick return past midfield and should have an easy field goal drive to bail ourselves out and save Triplet night.

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The Play:

Unfortunately, Sean Taylor was having none of that. (3 minute mark of the vid)

We lost. It cost us the playoffs (and we were good that year). It also revived Joe Gibbs’s career on the spot and the skins got good again until, you know, RIP in peace.

Whole video recapping the ending is worth a 5min watch if you hate the Cowboys. You’re welcome.

Flashback Friday: Comparing the Dream Crushing Hit Sticks of Sean Taylor and Jalen Ramsey

Cowboys Week 1 Deep Dive: 23-20 Loss at Rams

Not a great start for America’s Team, but we would’ve won if not for that cowardly flop by Jalen Ramsey or if the fans hadn’t whined PI reviews away. I’m not worried by the loss.

Also, the Rams are good again. I was leaning on them at +6000 and that definitely should’ve been a full bet. They dropped to +2200 overnight and that’s still a play. They’re also a pick em at Philly on Sunday and that’s a lock.

McVay’s o-line is healthy again and he’s got that RPO scheme rolling like the new age triple option – so simple, yet so diverse and dangerous. 60% time of possession, including a devastating nine minute, 17 play drive in the first quarter.

Still, the Cowboys found a way to enter halftime with a lead and nearly managed to end the game with a win if it weren’t for that cowardly flop. We did have some issues yes, but the two minute drills nearly made up for them.

Great teams find ways to win after playing poorly, and the Cowboys almost did that against a good Rams team. I’m not panicking yet, especially considering the circumstances of a brand new coach with no preseason or offseason.

McCarthy’s first game certainly didn’t win anyone over, but it’s way too early to judge him. Nothing to complain about on that front yet.

The most controversial coaching decision was the late 4th and 3 attempt. It fell a yard short and failed, but NFL fans these days will blindly laud all 4th down attempts as good decisions so McCarthy is not getting heat for it.

Aggressiveness is good, obviously, but this was the wrong decision. If it was 4th and 1, maybe 4th and 2, I’m okay with it. Otherwise, just tie the game and guarantee us to be within one possession of the lead max til the end.

Losing like this is still way better than how we lost with the last coach… I won’t complain.

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After a further deep dive into the game, here are the main takeaways…

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1. Blake Jarwin Tore His ACL and Fucked Us

Jarwin looked pretty great for almost two quarters until he tore his ACL without contact. God damnit what a shitty Week 1 blow.

Our replacement, Dalton Schultz, was in way over his head. The 4th and 3 failure was technically on him for not getting enough depth on his pick route. He was likely being overcautious because, on his first series after replacing Jarwin, he had a terrible OPI that negated a badass slip screen touchdown by Zeke.

On a screen pass, man? Come oonnnnn. Definitely not the type of mental mistake we should expect from a Stanford alum ‘lunch pail’ guy.

In fact, the 4th and 3 would’ve never happened to begin with if he doesn’t have this awful drop two plays earlier.

Hopefully we can chalk this up as a preseason game for him and see some better results with starter reps. He did have a sick conversion on 3rd and 10, making a play that Witten hasn’t been capable of finishing for years.

That’s a good sign at least.

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2. We Need La’el Back ASAP

We started UDFA rookie Terence Steele at right tackle. It was surprising considering we had just signed a decent swing tackle in Cam Erving, but Erving got injured himself on a field goal play anyway. Jesus Christ.

At least the offense stayed functional, unlike what happened under the previous regime with o-line injuries, but that Rams front made for a brutal mismatch. By the end of the game, LA was basically overloading the entire left side because they knew Steele couldn’t block 1v1.

You can’t fault a UDFA rookie for not being good in Week 1. The fact that he didn’t completely fall apart is somewhat commendable.

Instead, the scorn should be directed at whatever fuckhead driver cut off La’el Collins during training camp and caused his injury. Whoever that person is should be outed and banished from the state of Texas. We need Collins back on the field ASAP.

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3. Connor Williams Sucks So Much

According to PFF, our worst lineman was not Steele, but rather Connor Williams. He graded out at 49.5 overall with a pass blocking rating of 27.2, (half that of Steele’s).

What a fucking awful second round draft pick. He sucks so fucking much.

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4. Skill Position Players Looked Sick

Zeke had a good game (and so did Tony Pollard). The overall scheme didn’t look much different from last year, but we were definitely activating the backs in the passing game more. In the first half especially, it was a big time red zone multiplier.

The second TD was called back because of the Schultz OPI, but still those are some badass scores by Zeke. He had some slick as hell runs too, and you can tell that he’s gonna destroy lesser defenses this year. Feed him!

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No complaints on the WR front either. Cooper had 10 catches, Ceedee looked sick, and Gallup had an outstanding game that would be getting a lot of noise if it weren’t for that flop. Man that catch against Ramsey was so awesome.

Most importantly, Gallup didn’t have any drops. He dropped an absurd 10% of his passes last year and still went 80 yards per game. His hands were amazing in college and his rookie year, so we’re hoping last season was an outlier. So far, so good. He’s breaking out this year.

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5. Dak Was Decent

Dak was alright. No turnovers, a sick TD run (pretty much), good two minute drills, but a couple of bad 3rd down mistakes in the second half.

The first was losing field goal range after a terrible sack (although more fault goes to sorry ass turnstile Connor Williams). The second was a piss poor throw on what should’ve been a routine conversion for Cooper. Both cost us points.

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6. LVE Is the New Lofa Tatupu, Probably

Vander Esch broke his collarbone and is out 6-8 weeks. The neck injuries are piling up and he’s looking more and more like the next Lofa Tatupu. That blows.

Next to him in the lineup, Jaylon Smith had a decent but not dominant game. He’s being paid to be dominant. Need better.

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7. Keep Cranking up the Earl Thomas Talk

Our pass D was weak as fuck down the middle, with slot men and tight ends running all day. I don’t care what kind of chemistry issues he may have… If our safety play doesn’t step up, I want ET coming home.

Players signed after Week 1 don’t get guarantees in their contracts, and it’s possible he and the Cowboys have a secret midseason agreement in place. At this rate, I hope so.

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8. Aldon Smith Is a Death Star Certified God

That question about how Aldon Smith’s five year layoff would affect his production? Turns out the answer is NONE AT ALL. Holy fuck what a find.

This means Everson Griffen and Randy Gregory will be BACKUPS to two of the most dominant ends in football. We won’t be lacking for pass rush this year.

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9. Trevon Diggs Is Gonna Be Awesome

Keep in mind that Trevon Diggs is a natural receiver with only 1.5 years of prior CB experience at Bama. Once his instincts develop just a tiny bit more, he’s gonna be a star.

There were three plays in particular that stood out where he was an inch away from changing the game.

The first was a perfectly thrown deep pass where he went for a pick instead of deflection. The second was a perfectly thrown short ball that he nearly blanketed. The third was an insane one-handed interception (almost).

He also had a BIG TIME tackle on the most important defensive play of the game. Run support like this from a CB is such an asset.

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10. Legatron, Cmoonnnn

Lastly, special teams. Legatron drilled a short field goal but missed a 54 yarder. I know its a long distance, but what the hell man? Where was this kicking in the dome?

Free agent kickers always have the risk of being damaged goods, but if the Rams thought this dude was better than Legatron then I’m confident they misevaluated.

These loud misses are gonna be hilarious this year.

Cowboys Week 1 Deep Dive: 23-20 Loss at Rams

Tampa Bay Bucs – New Goat, Same Results

Tampa Bay replaced the goat-in-training with the goat-in-passing, and lo and behold the results didn’t change at all. Two picks by Brady, one went back for six, and now people finally want to talk about positions other than QB on the Bucs. Shocking.

Turns out it’s pretty difficult to carry a team with trash defense, trash o-line, trash running game, and a trash kicking game. The latter is especially funny to me, as I cannot count the number of times that horrid kicking cost Jameis Winston a win.

When Ryan Succop had a kick blocked in the 2nd quarter, FOX decided to show this graphic…

Ooohhhh now you wanna talk about it? Not when the Bucs spent a 2nd round pick on the worst kicker in NFL history? Not even the last time Brady played the Bucs himself, when this happened?

Hmm okay interesting.

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I know that it’s a unique year and especially challenging for offenses with new coaches and QBs etc. We’re not gonna overreact to Week 1, but I don’t see things getting better for Brady in Tampa. The Bucs pass blocking was ranked 20th this week according to PFF, while the Pats were at 2nd. Those fall in line with recent season-long trends. Good luck to Brady the rest of the way.

Don’t get me wrong. I still think he’s good. He can still drop dimes…

But the Bucs have been proving for years that it takes more than a generational QB talent to right that ship.

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He should’ve been less arrogant. He should’ve evaluated his options better, and should’ve realized that the MSM myth of the Bucs being talented was just driven by the anti-Jameis agenda.

He should’ve made San Fran happen, but he didn’t. Bill Belichick is now firmly in the drivers seat in the race for last laugh.

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Here’s the picks, in case you wanted to see again…

Tampa Bay Bucs – New Goat, Same Results

Apocalypse Now – Flopping in NFL Football

The Cowboys offense was certainly not in Death Star mode throughout most of the night, but we can still be encouraged by what happened in crunch time. In the last two minutes of both halves, Dak and his boys made some spectacular plays.

The first half ended with us getting the ball back at 1:56 remaining and scoring with ease on a surgical ten play drive. Dak was 5/5 for 47 yards and also had 12 on the ground with this badass pretty-much-TD run.

Our two minute drill didn’t have quite the same rhythm in the second half, but there was one moment that was so sensational it could’ve made up for everything that possibly went wrong all game.

What a throw. What a catch. And what a pussy ass flop by Jalen Ramsey.

What in the world has our country come to? Flopping. In mother fucking football… By a defender no less! Disgusting.

Take note all you young DBs out there… Want a $100M contract? Add flopping to your arsenal like Jalen Ramsey did.

Everyone assumes that soccer is the sport for flopping, but that’s not actually true anymore. They started penalizing players for it, and now with VAR it’s basically impossible. Brazil screwed themselves in the World Cup because of it. It’s out of the game now.

Ironically, they did it for us. They did it to get more Americans watching. Yet somehow, the plague of flopping still has life, and that life is flourishing in what was once the great country of America.

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Obviously, basketball is to blame here. After all, athletes these days come from a generation that was led to worship a 6’9” 250lb icon that loved to flop. Harden too etc. Thanks a lot NBA fans.

It also would’ve helped to have pass interference reviewable by replay. We finally managed to get that… Yes there was a rough start, but after those October owners meetings it was working.

We could’ve just stopped whining then and had this thing we’d spent decades begging for. But noooo we can’t have nice things.

Congratulations America. You now have flopping in your football. Hope everyone is proud of themselves.

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PS – technically none of the games are in America these days, but there’s a badass hockey team from Texas that knows how to take care of flopping

Apocalypse Now – Flopping in NFL Football