Listen, I’m not here to hate on trannies. I’ve said before, it’s 2015 and I’m smart enough to know that bashing is out and ‘acceptance’ is in. However, the Diamondbacks made it clear last night that they are not fans of the movement when they panned in on this (wo)man(?) for 15 seconds…
Yikes… Again, I’m not here to bash on transgender rights, but they can’t let shit like this make it onto television. No matter how hard Jezebel’s fat readers try to deny, appearance definitely matters. My friends who were in sororities in college said they would conduct mandatory courses for their less attractive members in order to teach them how to apply makeup well and workout efficiently to lose weight. In my fraternity, we would make skinny pledges swallow scoopfuls of protein powder during pledge meetings. The results for everyone was social validation and way more respect from peers than trannies are getting these days.
If I was a transgender, I’d be pissed at that (wo)man(?) for going out in public like that. You think they’d be getting so much recognition this year if Caitlyn Jenner looked like that beast instead of like this?
Here is the bet: parlay of Mets and Astros division futures.
The Mets are at -500 to win the NL East with a 5.5 game lead on the Nats that they will definitely hold. Their trio of aces remain on fire and now their offense can actually hit now. In addition, the Nats are continuing to blow games against mediocre teams like San Diego and Colorado (partially because crybaby Drew Storen still has his head up his ass).
The Astros are at -250 to win the AL West with a 4.5 and 5.5 game lead on the Rangers and Angels. After beating Zach Grienke and Clayton Kershaw in consecutive games over the weekend, it looks like they will also definitely hold their lead. They’re playing the top teams in the league and refusing to drop any games, and they’re also gonna get Springer back soon. Also, if you’ve read my baseball picks before, you know how worthless I think the Angels are (no great pitchers, two good hitters with nothing else of significant in the lineup). As for the Rangers, I’m a diehard fan and love their story this year, but there’s in no chance in hell I could expect their garbage ass bullpen and all the overachieving rookies in their lineup to hold up for another month.
While I think both teams have a definite 100% chance to win their divisions, the stat geeks at Baseball Prospectus put both of them at 86%. With those odds, a parlay of these two bets would have a 74% chance in winning. With a payout of .68:1, the ROI of doing this bet a million times over would be 24.32%. That is insane. There are some bets in sports that can give you a 24% expected return, but almost never do you see one with this high of a chance of winning (unless you were also following me for the Chile Copa Americapick).
This is a bet we cannot pass up on. Bet the fucking farm on it and enjoy your huge bankroll for football season.
Earlier this week, Doug Melvin stepped down as GM of the Milwaukee Brewers. Although this news was lightly publicized, it cannot be understated how brilliant of a baseball executive he was.
In 1994, he took over as GM for the Texas Rangers, who at that point were arguably amongst the bottom five worst franchises in all of professional sports. They existed for over 30 years and had yet to achieve one single postseason appearance, but Melvin had them in the playoffs within two years after taking over. They ended up making the postseason three times in four years, and although they got beaten down by Yankees each time, they were a pretty damn fun and exciting team to watch.
In 2002, he became GM of the Brewers, a slightly less shitty organization than the Rangers were but still one that was coming off ten straight losing seasons and a 106 loss season the year before. Again, within a couple of years, his team stopped sucking and eventually made the playoffs twice. If the Brewers had any money whatsoever to keep some of the talent he acquired (Zach Grienke, C.C. Sabathia, Prince Fielder, to name a few), that team could’ve made many serious runs for the World Series.
So what made this Canadian-born executive so damn good at constructing winning rosters? Sure, he made several shrewd trades and excellent draft picks, but I think there’s another element that helped him out quite a bit. See if you can take a guess after I name, off the top of my head, the five best hitters that have ever played for him…
Ted Wells published the infamous Miami Dolphins bullying report last year, but he might soon learn a tough lesson on what happens when you try to bully back a real bully…
Richie Incognito started things off yesterday when he blasted the NFL’s investigation system, claiming that he was damaged by Ted Wells’s pursuit of a specific agenda and that Wells will only publish facts that support a predetermined argument for his report.
Ted Wells came in slanted against me and everything in his report was slanted against me. There were some things in there that would have helped my cause that were left out.
Most people tend to write off whatever Incognito says, saying that we should just “consider the source”. However, his former line coach on the Dolphins, Jim Turner, joined the war today when he filed a defamation suit against Wells claiming that wrongful omissions in the report are preventing him from getting another job in the league. Turner’s case probably centers around a pretty jarring story he told about Jonathan Martin on the radio last May. Fast forward to the 6:20 mark…
We told Jon, ‘You’re going to be the starting left tackle. You’re going to be our starting left tackle in 2013. So he goes home and he doesn’t come back to work for 48 hours. He doesn’t show up to work. I have to send guys to his house to find out where he is… I said, ‘Jon, where were you?’ And he gave me some BS answer. And I said, ‘No, you’re going to tell me where you were. He said, ‘I was sitting in my apartment on the 16th story looking out the window.’ I said, ‘What do you mean you were looking at the window, are you saying what I think you’re saying?’ He said, ‘Yeah, I was thinking about jumping…
He said, ‘Three months ago at my dad’s house in California and I was sitting on my dad’s couch. I said, ‘Does your dad have a gun, Jon?’ He said, ‘Yeah.’ I said, ‘Did you you have it in your hands?’ He said, ‘Yeah.’ I said, ‘Did you put it up to your head, Jon?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ I told Wells all of this stuff…
They left that out of the report. I told the investigators the whole story, just like I’m telling you. It was just clear to me when I read the report how Richie Incognito was railroaded and then I got railroaded along with him…
It will be interesting to see how this lawsuit plays out… I’m no lawyer myself, but if I were the NFL, I would fire back saying Turner doesn’t have a job because his players couldn’t block for shit.
Aside from their god-awful manager, the MLB’s preseason darlings look to have another major issue threatening to extend their streak of failing to win a postseason series to 48 years (out of 48 years of franchise existence).
In acquiring John Papelbon at the deadline, Nats GM Mike Rizzo turned his club’s bullpen from one of the weakest amongst playoff contenders to one with the deadliest setup-man/closer combo in the majors. At the time, Drew Storen had been serving as closer for the Nats and was having an amazing 2015 (29 saves out of 31 opportunities, 1.73 ERA). Unfortunately for the Nats, they had few postseason dependable arms in the pen with him other than long reliever Tanner Rourke. Storen also has somewhat of a checkered October history that might’ve had the Nats faithful worried come fall…
In case you didn’t watch, that was Storen blowing a 2 run lead in the bottom of the 9th in game 5 of the 2012 NLDS. If that kind of epic choke job isn’t enough to worry fans, you can also look back on his blown save in Game 3 last year against the Giants.
While Papelbon’s postseason history is not without blemishes, he has been a part of some stellar runs that includes the iconic 2007 Red Sox championship team. A Storen/Papelbon combo in the 8th and 9th innings should significantly shorten games for the Nats’ stockpile of starting rotation talent and give them a great chance of finally bringing playoff glory to DC. Unfortunately, once the trade went down, Storen gave no indication that he was going to play along nicely.
As an arbitration-eligible player, Storen could have a legitimate beef here, as arbiters will typically grant higher salary values to players with defined roles as closers. What do you think? Does Storen have a right to be pissed? Before we get more in depth, lets take a look at his performances over the past weekend…
Here’s what he did on Friday:
Here’s what he did yesterday:
Yeah Storen… You might just wanna shut up and play
We went 2-2 yesterday, with a blown save capped off by a wild pitch in LA and a walk off walk in extra innings in Chicago robbing us of daytime bliss. Luckily, there’s some good matchups today we can still get rich on.
Reds (+150) vs Cardinals
The Reds are an underrated home team for day games with balls flying out of he Great American Ballpark all the time, and Wacha is struggling on the road. Also, it’s about time to start looking out for the Cards to go into coast mode and that would especially apply on getaway days like this.
Dodgers (-270) at Phillies
The price doesn’t matter. The Dodgers are in a tight division race and Grienke is on the mound against a bad pitcher for Philly.
Royals (-115) at Tigers
Take the much better Royals team to clinch this series.
Brewers (-112) vs Padres
In a battle of two mediocre teams, take Garza at home.
Diamondbacks (+160) vs Nats
With the Nats struggling the way they are, they should not be such heavy favorites against a red hot D-Backs team. With this price, I’m comfortable betting on Hellickson to have a bounce back game and for the Arizona bats to light up Joe Ross now that he’s been pitching long enough for the scouting report on him to be out.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – daytime baseball gambling is almost as fun as daytime sex…
I don’t have to be the only one enjoying the utmost bliss this afternoon. You can too by following these stone cold LOCKS!
Rays (-114) at White Sox
Apparently, over the past few weeks, people got tricked into thinking the White Sox didn’t suck? That’s absurd. After last night’s blowout against Chris Sale, expect the Rays to complete the sweep and put these delusions to sleep. The Rays also have Erasmo Ramirez on the mound, who is extremely hot on the road and will be pitching in a top 5 pitcher friendly park today.
Rockies (+105) vs. Mariners
In this interleague battle between two mediocre teams, I’ll take the home team to avoid the sweep, especially considering the Rockies have by far the best home offense against righties and the Mariners are a very poor lefty hitting team.
Indians (+108) at Angels
In what seems close to a tossup game, I’ll take Danny Salazar with plus money going up against a slumping offense. The Indians don’t have Kipnis, but that could be a blessing in disguise as LA is rolling out the lefty Santiago, and Kipnis has a subpar average against lefties.
Orioles (-129) at Athletics
In this rubber match, I’ll take the better team with a southpaw pitcher (Chen) that the A’s always struggle against.
The Mets-Nats series this past weekend was absolutely sick; a crucial division lead was on the line and it was easily the most entertaining series of the regular season this year. While the play on the field (mostly the Mets pitching) was great to watch, the abysmal in-game management from both managers was also quite comical to witness. Let’s quickly review the boneheaded moves from the weekend…
1. Terry Collins benches Lucas Duda for Game 1
Lucas Duda has had an atrocious summer for the most part, but he has been on absolute fire over the past two weeks. Leading up to the game on Friday, the Mets were 7 games into a homestand that Duda was completely tearing up: 24 AB, 8H, 6HRs. That’s right – 1 out of every 4 at bats resulted in homers… Huge for a team near the bottom of the league (behind the Phillies) in runs scored.
Inexplicably, Collins benched him on Friday because he had three strikeouts the game before. I understand that it is important to keep your men in check if they are getting too cocky and undisciplined at the plate, but you cannot bench one of your best offensive players in the most important game of the season.
This benching is even more unacceptable when you consider the putrid play of Duda’s replacement, Eric Campbell. His average for the season lies at a disgraceful mark of .175. Against lefties (the Nats rolled out lefty Gio Gonzales), it is an appalling .074! That is just like putting two pitchers in the back of the order in the most important game of the season… (for the record, Duda’s average against lefties this year is .299)
So how did Campbell fare in this incredibly important showdown? A solid four at bats, two pop outs, and two strikeouts. The worst at bat of all came in the bottom of the 4th when the Mets had just scored their only run of the game and had Gonzeles looking shaken up. With runners on 2nd and 3rd and a golden opportunity to blow the game wide open for Harvey shut down, he manages to strike out looking…
2. Matt Williams has two top tier closers, uses neither one of them
Bailed out by the incompetence of the Duda benching, the Nats managed to tie the game up at one in the 8th and headed into extra innings with momentum and a deeper bullpen. It was shaping up to be a typical Mets choke job and a new stranglehold on the NL East for Washington.
Fortunately for the Mets, Matt Williams decided to one-up the Duda benching by refusing to put in Storen or the newly acquired Papelbon. Instead he opted for two innings of Aaron Barrett and three innings of Felipe Rivero, thus mitigating the enormous bullpen advantage he had. Absolutely inexcusable.
Nats beat writers cite Williams’s obsession with the save stat as a reason he will never put a closer in a tie game. That is very stupid and will destroy him in the playoffs (if he makes them), but at least it explains why Papelbon was not in the game. Storen? I have no idea why he’d be out. Maybe he was refusing to play because he’s pissed about the Papelbon trade? Sounds fishy… It probably just has to do with shit managing.
Even more fortunate for the Mets, Bryce Harper decided to throw another hissy fit…
Which gave momentum back to New York and led to the most exciting play of the season so far…
3. Williams walks Cespedes to pitch to the hottest hitter in baseball
Game 2 shaped up to be just as exciting as the opener. Unsurprisingly, the game was close til the end and swung on a horrible managerial decision. Coincidentally, the centerpiece of the decision involved the very same player we just ripped on Collins for benching.
With the game tied at two in the bottom of the 8th with one out and a runner on second, Williams delighted his haters again by calling for Matt Thornton (who, again, is not Storen or Papelbon) to intentionally walk Yoenis Cespedes and pitch against Lucas Duda.
It might be worth mentioning that the reason for the 2-2 tie was two solo homers by Duda earlier in the game (so, yes, eight in his last seven games). It also might be worth mentioning that Thornton is a lefty, and Cespedes is hitting .181 against lefties on the season. So not only did Williams commit a cardinal sin of putting the winning runner on base in order to get to the hottest hitter on the Mets, he showed us all that he has less knowledge of opponents’ batting splits than the average fantasy owner…
Of course, here’s what happened next…
The Mets clinched the sweep in game three to blow the division wide back open, but the incompetency on display from both teams in the earlier games show us that, as entertaining as the postseason chase will be, neither of these teams have a chance against St. Louis or LA in the NLDS.
We were about to finish up a couple units yesterday until the shitbag of relievers that the Rangers call a bullpen blew a 3 run lead in the 8th. Sucks… But whenever I lose money on a Saturday, I make boatloads on Sunday. 100% of the time. It’s a fact. So follow these and get fucking loaded today…
Blue Jays (-140) vs Royals
This is a tough one to predict, but the Blue Jays at home during the day is something you should never bet against.
Reds (+122) vs Pirates
As I said yesterday, the Reds always play well against Pittsburgh and they are one of the more underrated Sunday home teams out there. Keyvius Sampson makes his first career start for them today and debut starts are usually the easiest for pitchers.
Marlins (-140) vs Padres
Take Jose Fernandez at home against this garbage San Diego team.
Orioles (-178) vs Tigers
Take Jimenez at home against this garbage Detroit team.
Rays (+100) at Red Sox
Odorizzi pitching against our favorite team to fade? Easy.
Braves (-110) at Phillies
I think people are under the impression that the Phillies are starting to stop sucking? Nah…
Yankees (+111) at White Sox
The Yankees should never be underdogs to the White Sox. Even if it’s on the road and even if Samardzija (who has been anything but consistent this year) is pitching.
Brewers (-118) vs Cubs
Take the brew crew at home in this battle of shitty teams.
Twins (+115) at Mariners
I don’t understand how the Mariners could ever be a road favorite against a winning team unless Fernandez is pitching.
Diamondbacks (+139) at Astros
Take the plus money with one of the more underrated teams in the majors against the most overrated team in the majors.
Cardinals (-174) vs Rockies
No way in hell do the Cardinals lose two home games in a row to this shitty Rockies team.
Indians (+133) at Athletics
The Indians have been the biggest underachievers in the bigs this year, but I’ll still take plus money when Trevor Bauer is on the mound.
Dodgers (-143) vs Angels
Take the Dodgers to hold onto their division lead for at least one more day.
Mets (-120) vs Nationals
I said yesterday the Mets were sweeping this series, and I’m not wavering from that. In what looks to be a badass nightcap on Sunday Night Baseball, take the Mets to tie up the division with Thor on the mound.
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