Sonny Scores Four to Massacre Southampton

Sunday was a beautiful morning for Spurs, and especially for Son…

Four goals. FOUR! Within just 26 minutes. What a game.

Sonny’s finishes were superb, but all four assists from Kane were a treat as well.

The past two seasons have been frustrating as hell whenever Son and Kane were on the field together. Both seemed to play better alone, but both are too talented to sit. Sunday was encouraging to say the least.

Kane’s passing has always been criminally underrated. We started seeing more long feeds from him during the covid matches, and now Son is finding the rhythm to link up on the reg. It’s good to see them back at it.

Charlie Eccleshare of the Athletic wrote a sick article about Kane’s role shifting further back the field to do what Eriksen used to do. I love it. Kane can poach with the best, but this move activates our wingers much better.

Son, Bergwijn, Moura, and now Bale. That’s some serious counterattack assets to link up with. Kane for 100 assists this year.

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Also…

Well well well… Would ya look at that? And also this…

Crybaby Ndombele is gonna stop sucking? Holy shit, we might be really fucking good this year!

Sonny Scores Four to Massacre Southampton

Tottenham Scrape by Some Dirty Bulgars in Europa League

Spursdays are back this year with Tottenham in the Europa league. Yesterday, they played a Bulgarian team (Lokomotiv Plovdiv) that they have some mutual history with in the form of Bulgarian striker Dimitar Berbatov.

This dude played for Tottenham before my time (2006), but fans on the internet adore him. I looked up some highlights and I have to concur.

Tottenham fans weren’t the only ones to adore him. Five years before arriving there, Lokomotiv Plovdiv’s owner had his heart set on signing the kid. It was dangerous for Berbatov though, because Plovdiv’s owner was part of the Bulgarian mob and had him kidnapped.

From thesefootballtimes.co… 

in a remarkable story that would not look out of place in a Hollywood thriller, the youngster was kidnapped by the Bulgarian mafia. The man behind the kidnapping was Georgi Iliev, the owner of Bulgarian side Lokomotiv Plovdiv. His motivation was simple – intimidate the youngster, whose talents were quite apparent, into joining his club. Though Berbatov’s father resolved the situation, the younger felt he had been, even at this early stage, banished from Bulgaria.

What the hell, man?

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That owner is dead now, but it appears the team is still dirty as fuck. They took a 1-0 lead on us in the 70th minute (which would have been scary as hell if fans were allowed in), but blew it away ten minutes later with two red cards at the same time.

Or shall I say, spat it away?

The first was an intentional handball for the tying PK. The second occurred right before the PK took place, when one of their players spit in the face of crybaby Tanguy Ndombele.

Spitting in the face? What the fuck? That’s messed up enough in normal times, but in covid times? Damn that’s dark.

Spurs have had enough trouble with covid as it is, apparently not having any real preseason practices because all our players caught the rona. And now these Bulgars are trying to make the outbreak worse. Fuck that.

At least we won though. Crybaby Tanguy did something good for once and scored the winner. Sweet

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Overall a brutal start to the season for Spurs. No preseason, 0-1 loss to Everton, and now barely scraping by against these Bulgars. Not a good look and not living up to any hype from the the All or Nothing doc.

Am I worried though? Hahaha. Fuck no. I feel like a Cavs fan in 2014. This franchise is saved!

Tottenham Scrape by Some Dirty Bulgars in Europa League

Inter Miami Gets First Ever Win; Somehow Suarez Is Spurning Us?

May be a bit belated as MLS has taken a backseat to playoff sports, but I would be remiss to not cover the very first win of the future most famous franchise in the world.

It happened two Saturdays ago against Orlando City SC, who were runners up in the ‘MLS is Back’ tourney. Always good to beat your rivals.

Here is the play of the game. Beautiful cross from Ben Sweat, beautiful header by Julian Carranza, and most of all beautiful commentating from the legendary Ray Hudson…

The ultimate game winner came from our star Mexican Designated Player Rodolfo Pizarro. He celebrated by going into the stands and posing with a cutout of a lady fan. Pretty tight…

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I wrote a couple weeks ago about our open offer to Suarez and how dumb it would be for him to turn us down. At the time, he wanted to eke out one more year at Barca, but the new manager is cleaning house and he’s looking for a new team.

Instead of immediately moving to Miami and taking up the opportunity of a lifetime, Suarez is trying to move to Turin and play for Juventus. What the fuck?

Don’t get me wrong, Juventus will be awesome with him linking up with Ronaldo and Dybala. He might get them that elusive Champions League trophy and be a hero in Italy. But that probably won’t happen. They just lost to Lyon, they’re old as shit, and their best midfielder just signed with… us!

In fact, chances are Suarez is part of a colossal failure where Juve fails to win Serie A for the first time in ten years. The reason? Serie A got good again last year for the first time since that streak started.

Why bother with Italy, Suarez? If/when it doesn’t work out, you’ll be closer to 40 than 30 and regretting the chance you passed up at becoming a Miami icon. Come to Florida, keep speaking Spanish, live a dream life and make some history. Fuck Italy bro.

Inter Miami Gets First Ever Win; Somehow Suarez Is Spurning Us?

How Barca’s Beatdown Fuels the Rise of Inter Miami

There’s a lot of soul searching going on after this Barca blowout. Me for actually believing in them and betting on them, but most importantly Suarez for his open offer to make history for Inter Miami.

When I wrote about this a couple weeks ago, Suarez was telling media that he still wanted to stay in Barcelona. There’s one year left on his deal, but there’s a clause in his contract to automatically renew if he plays for 60% or more of Barca’s minutes next season.

Barca doesn’t want that to happen because they’re old as shit. Suarez (33), Pique (33), Vidal (33), Messi (33), Rakitic (32), Busquets (32), Alba (31). Almost all of their starting XI is aging out and they need to clear the wage bill for younger players.

Suarez himself should also be rethinking his future at Barca after yesterday’s debacle. They’re not getting any better and he’s already won everything there is to win there. Why stick around as an old man on a declining squad when you have a chance to be the first icon on the future most famous team in the world?

And make no mistake, this is an opportunity of a lifetime for Suarez. Everyone who lives in Europe dreams of living in Miami. How could any famous soccer player not dream of being the first famous Miami soccer player? One person I know agrees with me is superstar midfielder Blaise Matuidi, who just signed last week…

Siiiiiiiiicckk

Matuidi was a starter for team France, who won the World Cup, and for Juventus, who have won the past nine Serie A titles. He’s really fucking good, but if you don’t believe me I can prove it to you right here…

An 84 rated FIFA player can start for any team in the world. The best player in MLS is (was) LAFC striker Carlos Vela with an 83 rating. Matuidi is the new best player in MLS. A lockdown defensive midfielder with world class distribution skills, AKA the perfect teammate for any attacking player like Suarez.

Apparently Matuidi and David Beckham were boys together at PSG in 2013, which is one of the reasons he’s taking a giant pay cut for a salary of only $1.5M a year. That’s huge, because MLS only allows a team to have three ‘Designated Players’ without salary cap restrictions. Miami has one DP slot left, and it’s open right now for Suarez. He’d be dumb as shit to turn it down.

World domination is coming sooner than you think.

How Barca’s Beatdown Fuels the Rise of Inter Miami