I Stand for Equal Pay Now – Still Hate Women’s Soccer Though

 

 

This will come as a shock to all the strangers who googled their way to my hate blogs the past couple weeks (~50/day or so), and it will especially come as a shock to my 2 or so regular readers who know the real reason I started this blog was because Tim Marchman bitched me out with the Deadspin staff in the cc line because I complained about their soccer coverage:

Marchman

Bet this blog gets more views than anything he’s up to these days amirite lol.  Anyway, I hoped to never have to do this, but I am officially manning up and admitting defeat – the women rocked.  They deserve a pay raise – equal pay as men from the USSF, and 2x the share of FIFA revenue as men.

To guesstimate the exact number, let’s say it’s 20%.  This year’s WC brought about $131M, and just for kicks let’s say revenue doubles for 2023 (2015 WC was $73M).  That would be about $54M to the women, up from $30M this year.

In comparison to the men, let’s pretend Qatar is a disaster and 2022 stagnates at 0% growth from the $6B revenue total from Russia.  The men’s prize pool is set at a flat rate of $440 million, which would be 7.3% of revenue.  As you can see, even with aggressively optimistic/negative assumptions on both sides, the men are making eight times more than women from FIFA and no rational brain can say that is unfair.

They do deserve twice the share of their pie because they have more growth potential.  There is an untapped market for women’s soccer all over the world while men’s soccer is set everywhere but here.  The past three years, the women’s team has produced more for that domestic growth than the men’s. Therefore, the upcoming mediation should be a quick resolution ending in equal pay here at home.  Fuck it why not.

 

The FIFA gap will rightfully remain large in absolute terms and no lawsuit is ever going to change that.  Instead, the women need to keep growing their game.  They have unprecedented new opportunities in both entrepreneurship and philanthropy and it is up to them to capitalize on it.

Ride the momentum from this summer and start developing the domestic league.  Downsize NWSL and shift to a more barnstorming style rather than a traditional league format, at least in the short term.  Play some indoor games too.  Sponsor youth tournaments and run camps, then take them abroad.

Growing the game abroad means scrapping the Ugly American personas.  Use positive marketing, like more cool teacup celebrations against good teams and less dancing around like assholes when running up the score against underprivileged nations.  Realize that loving America and hating its leadership do not have to be mutually exclusive.  Tone back the whining about everything under the sun.  Practice a tiny bit of self-awareness like this:

Rapinoe.png

I personally will never be interested in women’s soccer and will always be a little bit embarrassed that so many Americans could care about it.  However, numbers never lie and it looks like I am firmly in the minority for at least the near future.  I guess I’ll go ahead and start letting other people enjoy it more some.  The 1999 team is still chill.  At the very least, continued domestic success on the women’s front could end up ‘trickling down’ to more expectations/resources for the men’s squad so it could end up actually being a good thing for America.

 

PS obligatory –

 

I Stand for Equal Pay Now – Still Hate Women’s Soccer Though

The Mavs Passed on Giannis and Still Won Awards Night

Luka GiannisThere’s been a lot of big stories in the NBA lately, but last night served as a stark reminder that history will remember this season mostly for the genesis of Luka.  A fucking unreal hit by the Mavericks.  This dude casually transitioned from being a teenage EuroLeague MVP to being a teenage NBA star with no joke the top clutch stats in the league:

Just last summer, the Mavs top assets were Dennis Smith Jr, two semi-expiring contracts (Barnes and Matthews), and a #5 overall pick.  Somehow one year later we are a budding dynasty with the greatest teenage prospect in history teaming up with KP and whoever we acquire next.  It is just impossible to overstate how legendary Donnie and the front office truly are.  This feat is so incredible that we got to watch Giannis win the MVP last night and nobody cares that we passed on him in the draft for $400k in cap room.

The story is that on draft night 2013, Donnie Nelson was so adamant about how good Giannis would be and demanded to Cuban that we take him, but Cuban overruled in order to trade back and get about $400k in cap space to offer Dwight Howard a max contract.  To this day, the Mavs have quite literally never signed a meaningful UFA, but Cuban insisted that we pass on a future MVP just in case we had a shot at Howard.

To the layman’s eye, the decision makes no sense at all.  However, in retrospect, it was the right thing to do.  Dirk was entering the tail end of his career and we owed him the world.  Not only was (is) he our god both on and off the court but he also passed up nearly $200M in wages to keep us competitive under the cap.

Dirk Wages

That is a staggering sacrifice by our god.  There was only one morally correct approach to take through the end of his career and that was to look short term only and swing for the fences.  Maybe we only had a 1% chance of signing Howard, and if so then that was 1% past the minimum necessary threshold to pass on a future MVP.  Cuban and Donnie did their best to do our god right and I applaud them for it.

Besides, it’s not like it really mattered in the end.  We have the best front office in the league.  They got us someone else better anyway.

 

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The Mavs Passed on Giannis and Still Won Awards Night

Pelicans Finally Free Themselves from That Huge Pussy AD

AD

It’s been a wild 2019 for the lakers as they are now the official team of narcissism and AIDS.  According to Vegas odds and the mainstream media, AD was the missing piece in turning LA from a toxic and mediocre embarrassment to the very top contender in the league.  Rob Pelinka gets his employment lifeline for the mere cost of pretty much every LA lottery pick from the past and future.  As a New Orleanian, I’m feeling pretty damn good about the trade.

Watching AD on the Pelicans was very much like watching A-Rod on the Rangers – eye popping stats that mostly came in meaningless situations and rarely resulted in winning.  In the seven season of this era, we had one truly successful year that was more thanks to Boogie Cousins and Playoff Rondo than to AD.  He lacked any semblance of a killer instinct or clutch gene and there are exactly zero memories from his on-court play that NOLA will cherish.

Everyone likes to say that the franchise failed AD, and that is bogus.  Demps brought him assets to play alongside from day 1.  Sure, not all of them panned out and it was clear that the Pelicans lacked one of those rare superstar front offices that can create winners from almost any situation.  However, there were enough players around (see above) to produce way more winning than what AD delivered.  In the NBA more so than any other league, the anus is on star players to deliver results and quite frankly AD was an abject failure in that regard.

The biggest mistake in handling AD does not fall on the previous front office or even the training staff, but rather the fans and media for never taking off the kid gloves in his treatment.  It’s hard to blame a city for taking too long to turn on an asset like him, especially given the nature of NOLA’s good-vibe culture and the limited roster flexibility for small market NBA teams.  However, in hindsight, it really is astonishing how little accountability AD had during his tenure here.  He did have that quiet persona and ostensibly high character helping him out, but that image swindled fully down the drain over the spring.  This clip regarding his ‘That’s All Folks’ shirt is pretty much all you need to hear to understand what this guy is all about…

I could not imagine a better pea to Lebron’s pod than this bum.  Kick rocks AD.  Unlike CP3, we will most assuredly not be cheering for you in LA.  Zion generated more excitement to the city through one Commanders dinner with Gayle than you were able to in seven years – good riddance.  Oh and FYI, nobody ever liked your stupid unibrow.

Pelicans Finally Free Themselves from That Huge Pussy AD

Rangers God Josh Hamilton Selected for Rangers HOF That Apparently Exists. Reflections on Our Baseball God:

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Josh Hamilton got elected (or selected?) to the rangers hall of fame today and all of a sudden ranger nation had a workday of going through all the feels.  First of all I didn’t even know we had a team hall of fame. Apparently we do have one though and we took no time to wait in selecting (or electing?) our god who is undoubtedly the greatest legend to ever grace the Texas Rangers uniform. Unfortunately it was not an easy day of celebration for us but rather a moment that brought out a lot of mixed emotions.

Let me just start by that never have been more ecstatic after a sports play than that game 6 home run.  I was a premature victory joint deep already that had gone south in a disastrous manner before he resurrected my soul.  God damn it was so fucking incredible and should’ve lived forever as one of the most iconic plays in baseball and sports history.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I3e8S0u_Pb0

It was not his fault (and it is no single person’s fault) for the way that game ended up, but what happened happened and all of a sudden our surefire dynasty sputtered into irrelevance buffalo bills style. It’s hard to find a true comp for the emotions that we felt. Falcons fans had that Julio Jones catch in SB51. But I guess it was worse for them because we at least won basketball earlier that year and they’ve never won shit. That is chill I guess.

Unfortunately the legacy of our god took a nose dive from that point forward. By summer of 2012 he had attained a permanent apathy for his craft that only Barry Sanders could rival.

We were cruising to a first place season all year until a historic August collapse that culminated in three game series at Oakland. We were one game up on home field advantage and would’ve clinched the division at a minimum with just one single win in the three game series. Instead, we got swept and had to enter the wild card.  The key moment of the series was this horrendous error in game 162

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=o5Fx4z0V2mY

The play-in game was against Baltimore, the same team that Hamilton had his iconic four dong against four months earlier.  He went 0-4 with two strikeouts on eight pitches.  Never have I seen someone in a 4 spot torpedo an offense that hard. It probably also ruined Yu Darvish’s career too if you really that about it.

He was a free agent that winter and by then it was an obvious decision to for JD to cut loose from the ass of the 2010 MVP and franchise icon. He signed with Anaheim and proceeded to siphon $125M out of Arte Moreno’s pockets.  The rest of his career was cashing checks and relapsing into rehabs.  I will admit that we do have to give him credit for ruining the Angels. Fuck anaheim and fuck that team so I am grateful he plunged that franchise to rock bottom.

Overall, as judgement day on his career comes upon us, I guess it is appropriate to appreciate the hopes our god brought us and to what game six could’ve or should’ve brought us.

Here’s to Josh Hamilton. Please toast your finest cup of ginger ale in his honor, or a beer or whatever. If I know him like I think I do, he probably doesn’t care anymore anyway.

Rangers God Josh Hamilton Selected for Rangers HOF That Apparently Exists. Reflections on Our Baseball God:

Every Franchise Contending in the West Is Trash Compared to Dallas

Benn Stare

Looking over the playoff field in the West I have noticed that every team’s legacy is an absolute joke compared to ours.  We literally outnumber every single team combined in Stanley Cups.  Okay the flames have one and they’re in first.  That’s right – the biiggg badd flames!!  They won their Stanley Cup (with our boy Joe Nieuwendyk) in 1989, back in the Soviet days when canadian teams were still capable of winning Cups.

Maybe it’s the sharks year finally.  After all you know what they say, 20th time is a charm! Maybe the wild are gonna rise up and show their original team who’s boss.  How about the blues going on a big winning streak.  “We don’t need no football team!”

J! E! T! S! We’re – so – cold!!

The Blackhawks did have an outside shot at making it in, but the Stars whipped up on them today in a pretty easy win.  One of our best players got hurt in his first game for us and he’ll be out until the playoffs.  We’ll probably be alright though because we’re still in the playoffs without him.

Once we’re in the playoffs we’ll be looking much better than people think right now.  The field should be wide open to us knowing that we have a vastly superior postseason history than every other franchise.  Pretty good thing to have going for us!

Every Franchise Contending in the West Is Trash Compared to Dallas

League Tampering Screws Saints out of Super Bowl

USP NFL: NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME-LOS ANGELES RAMS AT S FBN NO LAR USA LA

I said in my last Cowboy’s post to watch the fuck out for sketchy officials in Rams playoff games and lo and behold did that come true to absolutely screw the Saints on Sunday.  It’s possible to be a smartass and cite any of the hundreds of variables that go into an NFL game and say it is not the refs’ fault the Saints lost, but anyone with a brain understands that to be false.

The Saints did not trail at any point of the game until the final kick.  Their hall of fame QB and hall of fame coach executed that final drive in a nearly flawless manner like legends do.  It was capped with a perfect play design that left a WR wide open against a shitty linebacker.  Unfortunately, it was undone by what was indisputably the worst referee call in the history of sports.  An absolute abomination.  This is the darkest moment the NFL has ever experienced, not only because the call was so inexcusable but because it is the exact result the league hoped for and it is more than plausible that the league tampered with this game.

 

Now I will say, I’m a big fan of conspiracies but never before this week have I thought the NFL would stoop to NBA levels of crookery and actually rig their games.  There’s been fabrications off the field like DeflateGate, forcing Kraft to release Parcells to the Jets, the Michael Sam draft pick, etc.  But for the first time in my life I find myself questioning the integrity of a game itself, and that is a sad look for the league.

Eyebrows started raising back in November for the MNF mega matchup between the Rams and Chiefs.  Kansas City rolled in unexpectedly sitting in first place and posed a serious threat to the Rams’ playoff home-field advantage aspirations, especially after a recent beat down in the Superdome knocked them out of the NFC pole position.

The game was supposed to be in Mexico City at the expense of a Rams home game, but the NFL mysteriously decided to move the game back to the Coliseum in the week leading up.  The league had a plausible cover story citing ‘player safety concerns’ after photos popped up showing harsh field conditions from a recent Shakira concert.  However, that concert took place on October 11, over a month before the game.  Even before that, the NFL received regular reports outlining the risky field conditions and conveniently waited until it was too late to act on it. (Also those internet photos were not up-to-date and the field was playable, certainly better than the Oakland Coliseum)

Then in that same week, the league announced an unprecedented decision to switch out the officials for a special, hand-picked ‘all-star crew’.  Those officials went on to call everything under the sun against the Chiefs, including nine(!) first quarter penalties and let the Rams false start on every single play.  It was honestly impressive that the Chiefs still could have won when they had to play two teams at once.

Going forward from that game, it was buyer beware for anyone betting against Los Angeles.  Even the Chargers with their trash ass coach almost caught up to KC to win the west.  What a magical story for the city of LA and, given the timing, what an epic ‘break’ for the owners.

 

We know the NFL has spent decades longing for a legitimate fanbase in America’s largest market, hoping for a chance to disrupt the city’s relentless apathy to professional football.  A Rams Super Bowl win is likely the only opportunity to finally make that come to fruition.  That part is obvious, but this specific season (and playoff run) has more money riding on it than any in NFL history or even future for that matter…

Personal. Seat. Licenses.  In short for the uninitiated, season ticket contracts require large down payments for fans to ‘reserve their own seat’ before buying the actual tickets.  Through these payments, the owners rake in cash upfront while also locking fans in to renewing their season tickets in perpetuity to avoid forfeiting the license and letting that non-refundable check go to waste.  

The Cowboys and Niners PSL schemes raised over $500M a piece, and with those stadiums being publicly funded, the NFL laughed it’s way to the fucking bank.  However, the Inglewood stadium is different in that Kroenke is privately funding the project with bank loans stipulating a return of $4B in stadium revenue.  The NFL targeted for about 1/4 of that revenue to come from PSLs for both the Chargers and Rams.

In addition, there’s naming rights, sponsorship contracts, corporate suite sales, etc. etc.  Serious money is at stake.  New stadiums have worked out lucratively enough in every other NFL market, but to the surprise of nobody the league is finding itself in a pickle in LA.  The fanbases haven’t built up because LA is LA, and the Chargers especially have been absolutely shitting the bed in sales.  (It’s also interesting to note that these reports of struggling PSL sales came out shortly before the aforementioned MNF matchup, even around the same time as the Shakira show)

Deep playoff runs this year were imperative for revenue to catch back up in LA.  In a seemingly divine intervention for the league’s fortunes, Bill Vinovich and his crew ensured that and then some on Sunday by sending the Rams to the Super Bowl.  Crazy how the cards play out like that sometimes.

 

I will say, I am personally saddened by this but I cannot blame the league for what they did.  In fact, the fans deserve this.  The fans have been at war with the league for years now bitching about everything under the sun related to the NFL.  The fans took the bait from the president and his hillbillies last year and let a massive boycott blow up in the league’s face.  Worst of all, fans across America espoused the NBA(!) as the up and coming successor to our #1 sport.  The NBA, the most blatantly rigged organization outside of WWE.  Honestly good on the NFL for taking a page out of David Stern’s playbook.  I probably would’ve done the same thing.

League Tampering Screws Saints out of Super Bowl

American Wonder Boy Pulisic Signs with Chelsea, Now Owned by a Russian

pulisic

Christian Pulisic signed with Chelsea yesterday in a landmark move that the American soccer community has never witnessed before.  It will be annoying as hell over the years listening to the fans on this side of the pond as Chelsea is the franchise for chode fans over here and it sucks that he’ll be on their team, but it’s still a move that had to be made.  Overall, there’s a lot of mixed emotions to process over this move as an American soccer fan.

From a marketing perspective, it was absolutely crucial for Pulisic to transfer out of Bundesliga and into the EPL.  It is by far the most accessible league to watch and bringing our wonder kid to the NBC streams can and should lead to an explosion in domestic viewers that was previously inconceivable outside of a World Cup tourney.

Chelsea also offers Pulisic the best opportunity amongst the elite EPL teams for immediate starting minutes, but they carry some organizational risk in the fact that they’ve had opportunities like this with many other recent prodigies and have found ways to shit the bed with most of them…

chelsea forwards

 

However, my biggest fear lies with Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich.  He is one of Putin’s richest cronies and now he owns our child prodigy.  It’s not out of the realm of possibility that Putin’s orders are to use the guise of Chelsea’s recent player development issues to stash Pulisic on the bench and block his rise to superstardom before 2022.  I mean the Russians have already tried ruining Star Wars for god’s sake; we cannot let this campaign they’re on to seep into our sports.

It is on us as a nation to monitor this situation diligently.  It’s on the press to raise alarms if Pulisic is kept off the pitch. It’s on us as fans citizens to ride the press and make sure our child savior gets the support he needs.  Even if you don’t care much for soccer, it’s your duty as an American citizen to stay on top of this.  Who knows how important 2022 will be.  A lot of people say we are losing respect around the globe as we slide away from hegemony.  There might be a lot of truth to that.  The next World Cup could and should serve as a symbol of our unceasing cultural and athletic prowess, and that shit can bleed over to politics as well.  Be on alert fellow citizens.  Protect our prodigy!

American Wonder Boy Pulisic Signs with Chelsea, Now Owned by a Russian