I’ll admit I haven’t been tapped in to baseball much lately (still in Europe celebrating) but I do know enough still that Mike Trout getting scratched tonight at Houston makes this game a joke. I fucking hate the Astros and I still recommend betting a lot on them. Because they’re going to win.

What up y’all.  As many of you know, my gambling followers are flush with cash right now.  Although I’m usually very confident in my picks, even I have to admit the British Open is always too difficult a handicap.  That being said, if you want to degenerately gamble your way to more riches this week, I GUARANTEE one of these three players will win…

Rickie Fowler 15:1

The dude keeps getting top 5 after top 5 finish this year and he just won the Scottish Open.  He opened at 25:1 so a lot of money is on him right now, which is not necessarily a good thing (it’s almost always better to bet with Vegas instead of against), but he is a great golfer in top form right now.

Adam Scott 21:1

Finished top 5 in the past three British Opens, and had a real strong finish to the US Open. This could be his time to finally come through.

Matt Kuchar 46:1

He was the runner up in the Scottish Open and the sports books here in Europe have him as low as 20:1 odds.  Probably the best under the radar bet out there and if he’s contending on Sunday, it would be really easy for you to hedge out a guaranteed profit.

Jordan Spieth 5:1

Obviously the man to beat and the best golfer in the world right now.  I’m going to the tournament and betting on him mainly because I want to cheer for history.  Check out this take from our preeminent golf expert (who may be writing a more detailed post soon)…

If it were me I’d wait until the first round is done before I lay that much on the line. If you’re giving me Spieth versus the field, I’m taking the field. But if you’re giving me just one guy, then Spieth is the guy. Sources say he’s teeing off on late afternoon Friday when Scottish winds are apparently the worst so be on the look out either he goes low or shoots 80 easily.

Spieth is there with his GIR and scrambling percentages, but his driving distance and accuracy numbers aren’t as good as what the past winners have done on this course.
Id take spieth to win it all but I’m not that confident yet. He has alot to prove going into this week especially since he had a shorter week by play (winning) this past weekend.

Yep.  I’m pretty sure he’s dead…

Sorry for the brevity I am in Europe right now and it’s hard to keep this up. I just looked up the Wimbledon lines and cannot believe that Djokovic is only -118  against Federer today. I know Federer would be way more fun to cheer for, but this is a line you absolutely cannot pass up. Djokovic is the top ranked player in the world and its not even close (he leads the standings by over 4,000 points). Federer is 34 years old. GTFO of here with this line… A lot of people are ripping on Djokovic for his loss to Stan Wawrinka in the French Open final a few weeks ago, but Federer lost to the same person in straight sets in the quarterfinals.

There are a couple of risks here, mainly Federer’s serve being on fire lately and Djokovic might have had a sore shoulder a week ago during a match, but that isn’t enough for a line at almost 50/50 odds. No way. This line should be at least -160 or -170. I don’t even know if I can watch this whole thing because I have some shit to do in Budapest, but I’m definitely max betting this match.

What up yall, I’m in Ibiza right now celmebrating some winnings from our earlier gambling picks. I may be pretty not sober right now but I have enough wits to have learned three facts…

1. Sergio Ramos is transferring to Manchester United. A buddy of mine just met him in a club and when some people asked him to do drugs he said he couldn’t because of a physical with Man U the next day. If you combine that with what you read on google it looks pretty clear he wants out of the club, but Madrid is trying to force a gridlock where they get David de Gea in return. A couple things confuse me about this…

-Ramos is sick but in my short time of watching soccer I can’t imagine a bigger goal suppressing factor out there than David de Gea. Not a good trade for Man U  (unless they also get Navas in return then okay maybe but still too risky I think)

-why would anyone want to move from a place like Madrid to Manchester? Is the extra money really enough to be worth it? Or is Madrid that awful to play for right now?

Anyway Ramos left the place that night with two Spanish putas while his very pregnant wife stayed at home. Power move and a half

2. Angel di Maria to Barcelona – was just chatting about the Ramos deal with a cab driver and he said he just heard from some previous passengers about a transfer deal with Di Maria and Barcelona, letting him get a serious opportunity to team up with the Messi-ah, his most famous international teammate, for some sweet sweet revenge against Real Madrid. Obviously this can’t happen until the January transfer window but it makes a lot of sense and would be quite an easy futures bet in the making if it happened.

3. Iker Casillas to FC Porto – the same cab driver said he heard from some guests Iker Casillas was going to Porto. Would be pretty sick to see him holding down the last line of defense in a champions league knockout round against Real next year. UPDATE: done deal we’re 1/1 so far

If you haven’t been following my picks yet, your bookie is probably much more content with his bank account than he should be. It’s not too late to jump on the bandwagon as Chile remains an underdog at +150 on the two way moneyline. I doubled down obvs. You should take it too and laugh your way to the bank as you realize how much more awesome the rest of your summer is about to be.