Breaking News from Ibiza: Sergio Ramos to Man U., Iker Casillas to Porto

What up yall, I’m in Ibiza right now celmebrating some winnings from our earlier gambling picks. I may be pretty not sober right now but I have enough wits to have learned three facts…

1. Sergio Ramos is transferring to Manchester United. A buddy of mine just met him in a club and when some people asked him to do drugs he said he couldn’t because of a physical with Man U the next day. If you combine that with what you read on google it looks pretty clear he wants out of the club, but Madrid is trying to force a gridlock where they get David de Gea in return. A couple things confuse me about this…

-Ramos is sick but in my short time of watching soccer I can’t imagine a bigger goal suppressing factor out there than David de Gea. Not a good trade for Man U  (unless they also get Navas in return then okay maybe but still too risky I think)

-why would anyone want to move from a place like Madrid to Manchester? Is the extra money really enough to be worth it? Or is Madrid that awful to play for right now?

Anyway Ramos left the place that night with two Spanish putas while his very pregnant wife stayed at home. Power move and a half

2. Angel di Maria to Barcelona – was just chatting about the Ramos deal with a cab driver and he said he just heard from some previous passengers about a transfer deal with Di Maria and Barcelona, letting him get a serious opportunity to team up with the Messi-ah, his most famous international teammate, for some sweet sweet revenge against Real Madrid. Obviously this can’t happen until the January transfer window but it makes a lot of sense and would be quite an easy futures bet in the making if it happened.

3. Iker Casillas to FC Porto – the same cab driver said he heard from some guests Iker Casillas was going to Porto. Would be pretty sick to see him holding down the last line of defense in a champions league knockout round against Real next year. UPDATE: done deal we’re 1/1 so far