What up haters.  And by haters, I certainly don’t mean anybody that gambles on my picks.  I went 8-5 last week and am 9-5 overall.  We had a very lucrative teaser in Week 1 as well.  No, there is no reason to hate me because I make people rich.  Do yourself and pad your bank account this weekend with these week 3 picks…

Friday Night…

The NCAA is so kind as to give us a Friday night game to make money off of.  I proved last week your life savings are safe with my pick…

Boston College +8.5 vs #9 Florida State

Florida State rolls into Boston overrated in both the polls and in Vegas.  Their national championship team was incredible and their team last year was also very good, but this team is not good enough to be in the top team or to lay over a touchdown on the road to an up and coming ACC force like Boston College.  Many people think Notre Dame’s sloppy seconds in Everett Golson is an adequate replacement for one of the best quarterbacks of all time, and those are the same people dumb enough to already declare Jaboo Jameis a bust.  Fade Florida State tonight against Boston College’s top ten defense.

Morning Hangover Cures

Wake up, pack a bowl, and try to catch the second half of these random games to watch your balance go up before the big boys take the stage…

Wake Forest -6 vs Army

Army is 0-2, including an opening week loss to mighty Fordham.  They are one of the worst teams in all of football and should be getting at least two touchdowns in order to warrant a wager.  They’re not, and we’re fading them.

Air Force +24.5 at #4 Michigan State

Michigan State is an awesome team, but here we have a case of a brand premium that is significant enough to fade.  Air Force is 2-0 with two blowouts so far, and while those teams haven’t been even close to the same level as Michigan State, I still think Air Force will have enough long drives with their triple option attack to keep this game within four scores.

Afternoon Day Drinking

What better way to day drink on a Saturday afternoon than to day drink while getting rich on football?

#8 Notre Dame +3 vs #14 Georgia Tech

I love Georgia Tech as much as everybody else, but there is no fucking way that Notre Dame should be getting points at home to anybody not named Ohio State right now.  Yes, I saw Malik Zaire get injured last week, but didn’t DeShone Kizer didn’t look too shabby himself.  The only thing keeping him from being a starting QB was age and maturity, definitely not talent.  Besides, Brian Kelly deals with starting QB injuries all the time, including three in his 2009 undefeated season with Cincinnati.

Notre Dame also has playoff caliber talent everywhere else including a defense full of draft caliber players and a running back going almost 7 yards a pop right now.  And its a Notre Dame home game?  I can already hear the cash registers ringing.

#13 LSU -7 vs #18 Auburn

Are there still people out there that think Auburn is worth a shit?  How are they still even ranked?  Jeremy Johnson is enormous and black athletic looking, but he sucks at QB.  Seriously, five interceptions already to garbage teams and it should be twice that number with all the easy drops his opponents have had.

LSU had a close win against Mississippi State last week, but they were pounding the shit out of the Bulldogs for most of the game.  Their defense is elite and will force a ton of turnovers.  I would take LSU -7 at Auburn, but this game being in Baton Rouge means a blowout is in store.

Nebraska +3 at Miami

It’s going to be awesome to rip some giant bong hits and get super fucking nostalgic about 2001 when these two teams face off.  Unfortunately, Al Golden’s current version of the U is about as exciting as a weekday in Nebraska.  It would be cool if they were good again, but they are not.  Too many injuries and too much shitty coaching are going to result in this team getting exposed to the masses as Mike Riley and the Cornhuskers start the official countdown to the end of Al Golden’s god awful era.  And wait Nebraska is getting points?  Hell yeah!  Bet on the spread and the moneyline.

UTSA +27 at #25 Oklahoma State

If you’re not feeling the 2001 nostalgia enough in the Nebraska/Miami game, flip to this game and watch Larry Coker (the head coach of that U national championship team for you squares that don’t know) live out his old age in coaching exile by operating this cover machine San Antonio.  If the nostalgia isn’t working for you, then just be happy about winning money off of this ridiculously inflated line.

Oklahoma State just became ranked for some reason, and now it is clear that the pollsters do not pay attention to enough teams to be voting.  Oklahoma State is garbage this year.  In their first two weeks, they’ve had halftime scores of 10-6 at Central Michigan and 10-0 vs Central Arkansas.  And they have to beat Larry Coker’s team by four touchdowns?  Fade the shit out of that!

Evening Showdowns

South Carolina +16 at #7 Georgia

South Carolina doesn’t look particularly impressive this year, but the ole ball coach definitely has them in good enough shape to cover a three score spot in a rivalry game like this.  Spurrier is also 17-5 ATS vs Georgia going back to his Florida days.  There’s too many points here to not scoop them up and cash in.

Texas Tech +11 at Arkansas

Everybody is high on Arkansas because they sucked against Toledo last week and they might be practicing a lot harder now?  Doesn’t make sense to me…  They sucked last week, and now without both their starting RB and top receiver I expect them to suck again this week.  Also, Klif Kingsbury has silently put together an awesome offense at Texas Tech.  Pat Mahomes looks to be the best QB out of Lubbock since Kingsbury himself.  I wouldn’t be surprised if Tech wins this game outright.

California -6.5 at Texas

Jared Goff is going to fucking torch Texas.  UT’s defense is garbage enough against regular QBs, and now they have to try and slow down a top ten draft pick.  It’s going to be pretty fucking brutal for Longhorns fans to watch, but we’re going to love making money off it.

Primetime Profits

#6 USC -10 vs Stanford

A lot of people high on Stanford in this one, and all those people are delusional and will be losing money.  USC is in the spotlight for the first time this year tonight at the Coliseum, and everybody is about to see why they are projected to be in the playoffs.  Also, Stanford fucking blows this year.  David Shaw might just be the most overrated coach in all of college.

#15 Ole Miss +8 at #2 Alabama

The Rebels won this game last year and they are better now.  Chad Kelly looks like the fucking truth.  Alabama, on the other hand, is a lot worse than last year and has some quarterback issues with Jake Coker and his big bag of nothing.  BUT… this game is at Alabama so… ehh, I’m really fucking confused as to why Ole Miss is getting so many points, but I’m fucking stoked to gamble on them.

#10 UCLA -17 vs #19 BYU

The dream for BYU comes to an end at the Rose Bowl when they play an elite defense and get their shit rocked.  It was a cute story but they’re not a good team and UCLA is awesome.