Chip Kelly Is Charlie Weis 2.0 so of Course San Francisco Wants Him

I admit that ever since I saw those sorry scumbags in Veterans Stadium cheer on Michael Irvin’s stretcher, the Eagles have usually been awesome and always terrified me more than any other team.  That is, until they hired Chip Kelly…

We all saw the train wreck that was Steve Spurrier in Washington, and it was pretty obvious this was gonna fare worse.  Kelly had an even zanier version of cartoon football that he used against historically pathetic defenses in the Pac-12, and still found a way to choke every year.

Needless to say, it’s been pretty fucking dope watching this catastrophe in Philly hit its peak this year.  Not only did he ruin the team, he absolutely shattered the collective soul of the Eagles fanbase.  Those same assholes that built such a badass reputation with their ‘Brotherly Love’ were reduced to a pathetic state of denial last spring as they tried to cope with all of the asinine moves their ‘mad genius’ was making.

While I thought it was clear by now that Kelly doesn’t belong in the league, for some reason I hear rumblings that he might actually make a good fit in San Francisco as long as he’s not the GM…  Because Colin Kaepernick is a mobile QB?  Seriously?  Get the fuck outta here….

He is garbage.  Always has been, always will be.  In fact, the more you think about his run in Philly, it’s interesting to note how eerily similar it was to Charlie Weis’s at Notre Dame.  They both…

  • Came into prominence with an insufferable level of arrogance over their supposed ‘decided schematic advantages’
  • Won in their first years with teams that their predecessors built
  • Got fired after losing with ridiculously easy schedules
  • Disgusted viewers with their morbid levels of obesity

If Chip does end up going to San Francisco, I can easily envision a short tenure there where he takes arguably the worst team in the league and decimates it into one of the worst teams in NFL history.  Which, ironically enough, would seem exactly like what Charlie Weis just did at Kansas…

Chip Kelly Is Charlie Weis 2.0 so of Course San Francisco Wants Him