Riveting Carmelo Anthony Saga Continues to Rock the NBA

NBA: Preseason-Boston Celtics at New York Knicks

Ramona Shelbourne just dropped a bomb on us and it turns out the knicks are sorry and wanna make amends with Melo. Welp, never would’ve seen that plot twist coming ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Please basketball fans, keep chatting about these fascinating knicks stories!

Let’s keep laughing about Phil Jackson’s ‘fall from grace’. His few years of chilling in Manhattan sleeping at work and cashing in $60M must’ve been soooo humiliating. Do you hate James Dolan? Man that must be really frustrating; you should prolly keep covering the team like it’s relevant I’m sure that’ll force him a change of heart. Oh yeah remember when that one Asian dude was really awesome at point guard for a couple weeks? That was chill af.

In all seriousness, basketball’s popularity puzzles the shit out of me. It is easily the worst product in sports. As much commercials as NFL. First three quarters more tedious and pointless than slogging through latter innings of a baseball blowout. Shit, its legit surpassed soccer in flopping, all so the star players can show us an abundance of the most monotonous play in sports – the free throw.

And yet there are so many god damned NBA fans out there for some reason. They’re like republicans, masses of inexorably loyal subjects to an objectively inferior sport.  Tuning into the cable sports network for summer league ball and shitty Windhurst scoops like they’re brainwashed. Sitting idly as an era of rampant rigging gives way to an era of rampant tanking and just chalking both up as ‘clever business’. Boasting about the Olympic dream teams as if anyone else in the world gives a shit. But hey, at least they’re not as corrupt as the NFL! They got guns in the locker room and overtly racist owners but once you look past that you really have to look at it as the most moral of all the leagues.

Then there’s Lebron – the most insufferable icon in the history of sports. So transparently narcissistic, completely devoid of self security, and a huge fucken coward for starting the super team trend. Don’t criticize him in front of the fanboys though, they get pretty triggered. I will admit, however, he does deserve kudos for always staying in the east. It makes for cakewalk competition to the final two every year. Sometimes he gets there and even pulls a win out of his ass. GOAT like you read about.

Basketball, so hot these days… Basketball

Riveting Carmelo Anthony Saga Continues to Rock the NBA