Lowly Lions Lose Late Last Night

Lions Flowers

When Detroit plays on primetime you know they’re either gonna lose embarrassingly like the jets opener last year or depressingly like the Seattle batted ball game and the packers Hail Mary.

Megatron gif

Monday night fell into the latter category because of those two absolute horse shit hands to the face penalties.  Honestly the last time I can remember a season where people weren’t freaking out over refs had to have been as far back as when Barry still loved football.  Usually it’s just outrage culture bullshit, but this year there’s merit because these of these fake replay reforms.  I hope the NFL isn’t becoming the new NBA, but Occam’s razor is starting to give me doubts.

Unfortunately this game was also a bad look for Frat Stafford as he once again showed America that he’s as bad at sealing 4th quarters as Kershaw is at pitching playoffs.  It’s hard to feel sorry for a veteran NFL quarterback from Highland Park but I’m almost starting to with Stafford.  Wild to think that a #1 pick could have such a long career with Megatron and wind up with such an empty legacy, but here we are.  It just goes to show you that passing stats are like bikinis – they look sexy but they don’t show you the real thing.

Of course it also doesn’t help that his offensive coordinator is notorious choker Darrell Bevell.  I really find it odd that he and Patricia are working together.  I mean on that Super Bowl goal line stand Patricia raped Bevell harder than he raped that one girl on spring break 1996.  It’s just an odd replacement for Jim Bob Cooter and an odd dynamic all around.

Lowly Lions Lose Late Last Night