Troubled Tulane Athletes Piling up in 2020

In the first week of 2020, it appeared Tulane football was finally leaving (irrelevancy) on a Jett plane once and for all. For those who aren’t from Texas, the picture above shows a bonafide baller quarterback (former Texas Tech starter) donning Mardi Gras beads and a Green Wave jersey to announce that he was taking his talents to the AAC.  What a huge get for Tulane.  PFF College had him rated as the top returning starter in the Big 12, and I’ve seen enough of him to easily concur with the nerds.

This kid wasn’t a pro prospect or anything like that, but he has a highlight reel against half the Big 12 teams – we were guaranteed to be UCF/Memphis level awesome with him on board.  Our previous QB, Justin McMillan, made a lot of sick plays and an equal number of horrendously awful plays.  That was good enough for us to start 5-1, with the only loss being a screw job by the refs at Auburn (two red zone takeaways overturned on BS premises).  Jett was the upgrade we needed for 1998 vibes to start coming back.

Unfortunately, it was not meant to be.  That picture was deleted from Duffey’s Twitter account a week after he posted it because Tulane denied him academic admission.  It’s nice to have pride in academics and all that, but this seemed a little ridiculous.  When it comes to quarterbacks of his caliber, the minimum admission requirements should be nothing more than basic literacy.  Why would a supposedly smart school do something so stupid?  Apparently, the academic issues were just a smokescreen.

Later in February, Central Michigan also rejected his transfer, this time citing an issue with his freshman season suspension for sexually assaulting an incapacitated student in addition to a new complaint filed in 2019.  That explains why he mysteriously entered the transfer portal to begin with, and is the reason he’s without a program despite originally being a top transfer target for The U.  Given that Tulane is just two years removed from a somewhat disturbing sexual assault climate report, it was probably best to err on the side of caution.

Last year, we had a big basketball transfer when Teshaun Hightower came over from the Georgia Bulldogs to become our leading scorer and play well enough to enter the draft.  It turns out he’s a bigger criminal than Jett Duffey ever was, because in April he was charged with MURDER.  Yikes. At least be good enough to carry us to the tourney if you’re gonna be a murderer.

Finally, last week we showed big improvement in our rap sheet by moving on from rape and murder to mere domestic violence.  Defensive back Tyler Judson, a prized 3 star recruit who we stole from Ole Miss, was suspended indefinitely after beating up his girlfriend outside of a Waffle House and sending her to the ICU.  This story is sad because in addition to being good, he was supposed to be a pretty bright guy.  He decommitted from Ole Miss because of our architecture program, which is rigorous as hell and fairly exclusive.  Unfortunately, he was not yet smart enough to limit his life’s problems to only 99 at a time.