Is Joey Gallo God?

If Joey Gallo isn’t god himself, he certainly has a close connection to the man upstairs as this moonshot was headed straight his way

It was the first home run in Globe Life Field, known locally and here forevermore as ‘The Gilf’. It was also one of the only times our offense ever scored in the first weekend of The Gilf. The homer counted for one of just five total runs in the first series.

In the opener against the Arizona D-Bags on Tuesday, we were no hit through 6 innings and scored only once. That means six total runs over four games. Just god awful.

The season was on the brink Wednesday afternoon, and our god Joey Gallo stepped up to be our savior

Kicked off the most soothing five run 8th inning I’ll ever experience in the month of July. Fucking finally.  Series split, 2-3 record overall, and a trip to the trash ass Giants up next. We are right back in the thick of things.


The key lesson from this homestand is that The Gilf is definitely a pitchers park. Our offense was not ready, being used to the old ballpark that had short fences, hot humid air, and a jet stream out to center. They’re not gonna hit homers here the way they could back there. Most players in the league won’t be able to hit much homers here, except for Joey Gallo that is.

If the rest of our lineup adjusts, we could have a difference maker with God Gallo being a power threat no other team can match. Pitchers parks are also awesome for winning playoff games. The lottery ticket of the century is still alive.

Is Joey Gallo God?

One thought on “Is Joey Gallo God?

Comments are closed.