We all the knows the Cowboys offense is certified Death Star status and possibly one of the greatest of all time. The defense? Just needs to be solid enough to hold teams under 35, and the prospects for that got way easier last week when we signed EVERSON GRIFFIN!

Ohh ho hum just a nice little rental for a $6M Pro Bowler to add to this group…

We officially have the best front seven since the glory days. Everson Griffin is just as good at pass rushing as Robert Quinn, except Griffin can actually stop the run too.

Speaking of run stopping, we have big DTs for the first time since like, ever… Gerald McCoy and Dontari Poe. No more Rod Marinelli banging his god damned hand on the table to make us draft Trysten Hill. We finally have competence over the ball in the form of eight combined Pro Bowls.

That will free up the best young LB duo in the league to do cool superstar LB stuff. Leighton Vander Esch and Jaylon Smith are switching positions – LVE to Mike; Smith to Will – because Mike Nolan does this novel thing with his linebackers called blitzing. It’s going to be awesome to watch.

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Speaking of rushing the passer, D-Law is still a top five edge rusher in the league and will actually have a training camp this year. It’s so nice when your star player doesn’t have to hold out on his surgery for four months because you procrastinate on giving him a fair contract. He’ll be certified Death Star status this year for sure.

The depth on the pass rush hinges on Aldon Smith and Randy Gregory. Two huge question mark players yes, but if just one of them works out the pass rush will be so deep and deadly. If both of them work out? Quarterbacks will start looking like Alderaan.

And to top it all off, we have one of the most legendary position coaches of all time – Jim Tomsula baby. 

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So is it fair to call this front seven a Death Star unit? No. Because as I was writing this blog, Gerald McCoy ruptured a tendon and is out for the season. God damnit. Antwaun Woods and Tyrone Crawford are going to have to not suck, which is possible. But until then we are just badass Star Destroyer status. With our offense, that’s more than fine by me.