May be a bit belated as MLS has taken a backseat to playoff sports, but I would be remiss to not cover the very first win of the future most famous franchise in the world.
It happened two Saturdays ago against Orlando City SC, who were runners up in the ‘MLS is Back’ tourney. Always good to beat your rivals.
Here is the play of the game. Beautiful cross from Ben Sweat, beautiful header by Julian Carranza, and most of all beautiful commentating from the legendary Ray Hudson…
The ultimate game winner came from our star Mexican Designated Player Rodolfo Pizarro. He celebrated by going into the stands and posing with a cutout of a lady fan. Pretty tight…
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I wrote a couple weeks ago about our open offer to Suarez and how dumb it would be for him to turn us down. At the time, he wanted to eke out one more year at Barca, but the new manager is cleaning house and he’s looking for a new team.
Instead of immediately moving to Miami and taking up the opportunity of a lifetime, Suarez is trying to move to Turin and play for Juventus. What the fuck?
Don’t get me wrong, Juventus will be awesome with him linking up with Ronaldo and Dybala. He might get them that elusive Champions League trophy and be a hero in Italy. But that probably won’t happen. They just lost to Lyon, they’re old as shit, and their best midfielder just signed with… us!
In fact, chances are Suarez is part of a colossal failure where Juve fails to win Serie A for the first time in ten years. The reason? Serie A got good again last year for the first time since that streak started.
Why bother with Italy, Suarez? If/when it doesn’t work out, you’ll be closer to 40 than 30 and regretting the chance you passed up at becoming a Miami icon. Come to Florida, keep speaking Spanish, live a dream life and make some history. Fuck Italy bro.
7th Floor Krewe 
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