When I first got the ESPN alert that Arizona traded for Shelby Miller, I was stoked for the Diamondbacks.  They were fun as shit to bet on and watch for awhile last year.  Paul Goldschmidt and the rest of their offense was fucking sick, and their starting pitchers had a ton of raw talent.

By August, though, those young pitchers just flat out collapsed.  Where guys like Rubby de la Rosa and Robbie Ray would normally come into the majors as 4 and 5 pitchers who could slip back to the bullpen if they started to struggle, they had to serve as the 1 and 2 on the D-Backs and the pressure just became too much.  However, now that that Arizona stole Grienke from LA and just got Miller to be ace 1b, the young arms will be in much more conducive situations to relaxing and throwing some fireballs.

I know a lot of people out there view Miller as more of a top end #2 instead of a true ace, but that’s bullshit.  He was firmly in the Cy Young mix for a large chunk of last season until his run support slid from atrocious to literally nonexistent.  Once he had to start going for a complete game shutout every outing, his performance started to suffer (even though he was still awesome compared to most pitchers).  With arguably the best offense in the NL behind him now, he’s gonna breeze through the 20 win mark.

Chief Baseball Officer Tony La Russa

GM Dave Stewart

At the same time, after seeing what Arizona gave up in this trade, I am definitely perplexed to say the least.  While the Grienke-Miller duo certainly makes them a playoff caliber team, losing the prospects they sent to Atlanta severely hinders their long term chances of World Series contention.  They gave up a fucking shit load!

• CF Ender Inciarte – already one of the best leadoff hitters in baseball at only 25 years old, and a defensive beast anywhere in the outfield
• SS Dansby Swanson – #1 pick in the draft last year and is supposed to be ready for the show within the next year (btw, the D-Backs middle infield sucks ass right now)
• P Aaron Blair – solid pitching prospect (#61 overall) that’s expected to be a regular MLB starter

Dave Stewart (GM) and Tony La Russa (Chief Baseball Officer), both hired last year as first time executives, have done a lot of winning in the past as a player and manager, but I’m not so sure they’ll have the same kind of success in the front office…

It’s like they just got dealt an 8 at the blackjack table, but they’re doubling down because the dealer has a 6.  It could work out (and I hope it does!), but it probably won’t.  The time to get aggressive like this is when you’re already an established playoff team and on the precipice of breaking through for a title, not when you’re one year removed from having the worst record in the major leagues…

Braves GM John Coppolella, on the other hand, deserve a lot of dap for this move, especially when you peel it all the way back to its origin…

A year ago, he traded Jason Heyward (who was entering his contract year) to St. Louis for Miller and stud pitching prospect Tyrell Jenkins.  He then flipped Miller for a center fielder who is just as good as Heyward, the best prospect in the game, and a top pitching prospect.  That’s incredible!

When you combine this trade with the Andrelton Simmons deal that brought two solid pitching prospects plus the expiring contract of Erick Aybar, who will surely turn into a prospect or two at the next trade deadline, you gotta start thinking that the Braves will look legit soon.  They’re set up perfectly to start peaking and take over the NL East right as the Mets start losing their aces to free agency and Dusty Baker’s Nats have fully collapsed.

The Atlanta sports scene is pretty sorry overall…  The Hawks are never going to be considered good past the month of February and ousted their awesome GM in the dumbest coup in sports history.  The Falcons hit apogee when their beloved dogfighter went to jail.  And the Thrashers were laughed out of town.  The Braves, on the other hand, are a franchise with at least a modicum of past success and can bring some semblance of respectability to the city.  Good for Coppolella for starting to get them back on track.  Atlanta is too nice and sunny to be complete losers.

The season is 100% lost for Dallas at this point, but that win on Monday night was still meaningful.  Whenever you have a little brother that starts to build up confidence and thinks he’s getting to a point where he can hold his own against you, it’s important to give him a good whooping to put him back in his place.  Washington had a great opportunity to shake up the balance of power in the NFC East, but Dallas rose up and proved once again that the Redskins will always be minions compared to the prominence of America’s Team…

Despite the win, Jerry Jones was fucking livid after the game.  For some reason, he was a little perturbed by the fact that the superstar WR he just paid a $20M signing bonus to wasn’t getting the ball…  He was also upset about the horrendous game management in the 4th quarter and said that his team “won on will, not tactical mastery” before ranting about how absurd it is that they’re still last in this god awful division…

I am stunned that we haven’t been able to win more games without Tony.  And I would have thought that we could have coached it up enough, and put it together enough, that we would not have lost those games without Romo early.  We would be in better shape than we are right now…  I look at it as 4-8 and won’t look at it any differently  as we move up the ladder until something really special happens.

Jerry is spot on in his assessment here…  Almost all of Garrett’s decisions last night were atrocious, and the clock management was criminally horrendous.  It’s not just isolated to this game either.  No matter who the quarterback has been, we’ve had a shit scheme all season.

In terms of Xs and Os, Garrett has definitely been underwhelming as a head coach, but there was never a reason to expect any better.  Coming into this job, Garrett’s schematic credentials were less than just about any head coaching hire I can possibly think of.  Yes, our offense was sick in 07 during his first full year as coordinator, but our NFC East foes started shutting it down when the rematches came up.  By the end of 08, the scheme was completely exposed for good.  Garrett’s never called an effective offense since…

However, Garrett doesn’t necessarily need to be a master tactician to be a great coach.  As Jones said, he can field teams that win on will.  His own gutsy NFL performances give him enough street cred to connect with current players.  When he first became interim head coach in 2010, he took a team that lolligagged their way to a 1-7 start under Wade Phillips and immediately got them to legitimately compete on a weekly basis.

In 2012, we rolled into December as the most depleted team in the NFL.  The front 7 had no starters left, Dez was playing with broken bones, Romo’s back was falling apart, and the team was an emotionally stricken bunch that just had to watch their own teammate get buried after the Josh Brent incident.  They still went on a 5-1 stretch and almost made the playoffs.  The amount of heart they put on display was more than I’ve ever seen in pro sports.

If Dallas is semi competitive in their last four games, Garrett needs to stay.  He may need to delegate the entire offense to somebody else.  Maybe Jerry should lock him up in a room with a PS4 and Madden for a week or two so he can learn how to manage a clock.  But firing him altogether will set this team back.

Not only is Garrett one of the only coaches out there that can motivate and discipline well enough to keep Dallas from turning into a complete shit show, he also might be the only capable coach out there that is willing and able to perform under Jerry Jones.  We all know the story…  Ever since Jones unleashed his egomania and fired Jimmy Johnson, he’s demanded way too much operational control and has been nearly impossible to succeed under as a coach.

He did loosen up and hand the reins to Parcells for a short time, but that was only because he needed some public funding for his new megastadium (Parcells had also just divorced needed some serious cash).  Unfortunately, Parcells is not an option an option at this point, so Garrett really is the only competent option that can work for Jerry Jones.

Garrett isn’t a complete yes man, either.  His fingerprints are all over some of the notable culture changes we’ve seen in the front office recently.  Dallas makes a point to target high character guys in the draft now because of Garrett, and it was most likely him that spearheaded the movement to focus on building the most dominant line possible.

You see… the stress of performing under Jones is nothing compared to what Garrett has had to ordeal throughout his life.  He grew up with a fucking batshit crazy father that called his players “drug addicted losers” after losing his first game as a head coach for Columbia.  He cut the punter on the spot after that same game, claiming that he was the reason they lost 49-17.  I get that special teams are important, but blaming a blowout loss on a punter?  Not only is he crazy, but he’s also stupid.  Also, did I mention Jason was a player on that team?

This dude has been through some shit.  He’ll see these boys through.  He may need to keep his hands completely off the offense from here on out, but there’s no point in getting a new head coach.

Time for one of the best Saturdays in all of sports.  The last chance for easy college gambling money before you do your Christmas shopping.  Do you wanna look like a poor person when your wife and kids open their presents?  Fuck no.  Follow these locks and then go buy some good happiness for your family.

#19 Houston -5 vs #22 Temple

Both teams have been really good this year, but Houston is better.  Tom Herman is one of the best coaches in the country, evidenced not only by  the way Houston is tearing it up in his first year, but also by the way Ohio State’s offense has fallen off without him.  Greg Ward Jr. is one of my favorite black QBs in college and I expect him to shred a Temple defense that is much more vulnerable on the road than they are at home.

Southern Miss +7.5 at Western Kentucky

I gotta warn you…  I haven’t seen jack shit of the Conference USA this year, but these two teams are supposed to be legit.  The research I’ve done this week says they’re both about even but Western Kentucky gets an edge for being at home.  That being said, 7.5 points is too many to lay if a team is evenly matched.

#18 Florida +17 vs #2 Alabama

It’s very possible that Florida doesn’t score a single point in this game, but it’s also just as possible that Alabama doesn’t crack 20 points.  Alabama’s defensive coordinator is prepping for his new job at Georgia right now and their former offensive coordinator is manning the sideline for Florida.

Besides, is Alabama really all that?  They lost to an Ole Miss team that turned out to be a pretty big dud.  They don’t really have any impressive wins on their resume.  Their defense is great and Henry is legit, but they have a QB issue and they’re not as scary as they used to be.  I don’t see this game being a huge blowout.

Air Force +6.5 at San Diego St

This one is really a tossup.  San Diego State is the better team, but they also have to start their 2nd string QB and have some serious injury concerns along the defensive line.  I’ll take the Cadets with the points in a game that could easily end up being close.

#7 Stanford -4.5 vs #20 USC

A lot of people like USC in this game, and I don’t understand that one bit.  They beat UCLA last weekend, but before that they got blown out by Oregon and squeaked out victories against Colorado, Arizona, and Cal.  Stanford did way better against those same opponents.  I get that Clay Helton is a better coach than Sarkisian, but there’s still a lot of work to be done before USC can compete with a team like Stanford.

Oh and this is basically a home game for Stanford, and USC has sucked dick whenever they’ve left LA this year.  Stanford wins easily.  In fact, Stanford at 40:1 odds for the national champion is really good value for a future bet in my opinion.

#10 North Carolina +5 vs #1 Clemson

Most of the college football blowhards out there think Clemson will run away with this, and I don’t get it.  Their win against Notre Dame was great, but they also got some serious help by a giant fucking monsoon.  Their win against FSU was impressive, but Golson was out and Cook was cobbled.  Most of their other games have not been very impressive.  They’ve let a lot of mediocre teams like Syracuse and NC State stick around with them.

UNC, on the other hand, has been annihilating everything in their path.  Last week, they hung 35 on NC State in the 1st quarter.  Again… 35 fucking points in just the first quarter.  They haven’t played any marquee games yet, which explains why nobody realizes yet just how damn good Marquise Williams and Elijah Wood are, but tonight will serve just fine as a coming out party for them.

Yes, the South Carolina lost sucked and they haven’t deserved good rankings up to this point because of it.  But that was months ago and they’ve recovered.  They had new coaches like Gene Chizik and were still learning schemes and they also had a lot of fluke turnovers in the red zone (3 picks by Williams, and he’s only thrown 5 total since).

Also, Clemson turns the ball over a lot.  They have a negative turnover differential overall and have had multiple turnovers in 8 out of 12 games so far.  UNC has a ball hawking secondary that is one of the tops in the nation in takeaways.

A Tarheels upset would shock a lot of people, but not the people that have actually been paying attention to them (i.e. alums and degenerate gamblers).  Go with the people that have had their heads turned by them lately and take the easy points.  Also, like Stanford, UNC is a good value future bet at 30:1 odds.

#5 Michigan State -3 vs #4 Iowa

It’s been such a cute season for Iowa, but the dream ends tonight when they finally play a good team.  The Spartans are an annoying program, and I don’t think their win against Michigan should count in the eyes of the committee, but they’re still way better than Iowa and they’re gonna win easily.

I’m pretty sure the Orioles GM Dan Duquette still has a very sore ass from the trade rape that Theo Epstein did to him in July of 2013.  It is easily the worst sports trade in recent history, and probably one of the worst of all time.  For those that need a refresher, Epstein sent Scott Feldman and Steve Clevenger from the Cubs in exchange for Jake Arrieta and Pedro Strop.

We all know how it’s been working out for Chicago.  Arrieta was nearly unhittable this past summer and just won his first Cy Young.  Strop was a shut down setup man.  Both were key cogs in the Cubs playoff run this year and will remain important as the Cubs gear up to make some big time World Series runs in the upcoming years.

Scott Feldman threw in a solid 5-6 record and 4.27 ERA over 15 starts to help the Orioles make it all the way to 6.5 games behind the 2nd wild card spot.  He left for the Astros in free agency the following winter.  Steve Clevenger was a solid backup catcher that made it into 30 games last year.  Yikes…  I think it’s safe to say the Orioles didn’t fare so well.

They say there are two phases to recovery from a traumatic rape such as this: the Acute Phase and the Reorganization Phase.  Earlier this week, it seemed that Duquette might be entering the reorganization phase when news came out that he traded Clevenger to the Mariners for Mark Trumbo. However, despite his attempts at getting his shit together, his mind definitely remains clouded because this is another terrible trade.

First of all, it means Chris Davis is probably on his way out.  If that’s the case, Duquette has lost it for good.  The Orioles are going nowhere if they cannot bring their best player back.

Second of all, Mark Trumbo fucking sucks.  He had some decent power numbers in LA, but had issues getting his OBP up and the Angels dealt him to the Diamondbacks.  They love a lot of power hitters over in Phoenix, but Trumbo is not one of them.  In his first year in 2014, he spent half the summer on the DL and played like shit the other half.  This past June, Arizona shipped him the fuck out of town and he spent the rest of the season playing mediocre baseball for a mediocre Seattle team.  This week’s trade makes the third team in three years that has sent Trumbo packing.

I get that the type of brutal rape that laid victim to Duquette can be emotionally shattering, but this is the major leagues.  If he keeps fucking up like this, he’s endangering the health of more than his own as Baltimore fans may very well be on suicide watch soon.  It’s okay homies, the Ravens should get a top 5 draft pick you can look forward to!

A week ago, Browns-Ravens was the game I was most excited to see.  Now, it’s the first prime time game of the year that I can’t bear to watch.  All because a 22 year old went out drinking during his time off?  Really?

Pettine says the demotion wasn’t necessarily about the video, but that Manziel and his friends lied to the team about the origins of it (saying it was filmed before his rehab stint).  That is pretty shady behavior, but how does it warrant a demotion?  In the NFL, are you supposed to field a team of players that win, or a team of players that you want to be friends with?

Normal NFL fanbases would be outraged over a demotion of their prized QB prospect in favor of Josh fucking McCown.  Cleveland fans, however, seem to be all for it for some strange reason.  I really don’t understand it.   I know he didn’t play for Ohio State, but did they really not see anything this kid did in the SEC?  Seriously, look at this shit!

Holy fuck!  He is amazing!  When he beat Alabama, he singlehandedly dismantled one of the greatest college defenses in history.  Questioning his talent is absolutely delusional.

A lot of people point to Tim Tebow as a caution against extrapolating college success to the pros, but that is a bullshit copout.  Tebow was a 250lb QB/FB hybrid that specialized in a college specific scheme.  He was arguably the best NCAA QB ever, but it didn’t take long until only religious zealots thought he had a promising future in the NFL.  Manziel is a completely different type of beast.  If there is any fair comparison to his college play, it has to be Michael Vick.

Granted, Manziel did have some very poor outings in his rookie year, but he also admittedly put zero effort into his job during the week.  Throwing him into a starter role last year was like asking someone who has yet to learn algebra to take the SATs.  Of course he was going to fail…  But to say that those failures were a reflection of his talent deficiencies is an absolute farce.

Besides, he didn’t always look that bad last year…

Oh, what’s that?  Just a casual shredding of one of the top defenses in the league?  The same defense that shut down Aaron Rodgers?  And doing it on the road?  Yeah, I think it’s fair to say that if you doubt Manziel’s talent, you need enlightening.

Which brings us back to Cleveland fans…  Why are they so content with this?  Why are they sitting back and letting their franchise deprive the nation of the opportunity to witness a potential budding superstar?  They want to cry and moan and blame their woes on Manziel’s personality, while failing to realize that effectively handling selfish personalities is an integral part of player development in the NFL.

We’re getting to the point where we have to stop sympathizing so much for these fans.  They’re not unlucky, they’re just unintelligent in the way they support their teams…

They couldn’t keep their Lebron boners in check and let his ego get way too far out of control during his first stint in Cleveland, and then were shocked when he thought he was too good for them.  When he came back to them, they cried like a hopeless wife taking back a shitty husband after he tires of his mistress.  When he makes the team trade a future superstar guard for Kevin Love, takes vacations in the middle of the season, and cuts the balls off of his head coach, they sit back and worship him while wondering why he keeps finishing in 2nd place.

They continue to give Jimmy Haslam money and attention despite his complete ineptitude and inability to develop a well functioning franchise.  And now, when their team finally lucks upon a golden ticket, they go and piss it down the drain.

What the fuck Cleveland.  You brought this misery upon yourselves.  I’m done feeling sympathy.  In fact, I’m glad Jose Mesa blew that save.  You don’t deserve winners.  Have fun at your future Super Bowl parties watching Johnny Fucking Football throwing up money signs with a star on his helmet.