Our women’s soccer team got thrashed 3-0 by France yesterday, which locked them into a last place finish in some tournament called the SheBelieves Cup (what?). Last fall in the Olympics, we suffered an ’embarrassing’ upset to Sweden in the quarterfinals. I’ve gone over this before and I’d like to reiterate now that they’ve stopped winning… Can we finally stop pretending to give a shit about these broads?
Don’t get me wrong – I don’t hate all women sports and I’m not a complete misogynist. Serena Williams is one of the most exciting athletes in the world. Simone Biles is cool as hell. Our soccer team, however, has no fucking reason to be in the limelight because they’re boring as shit.
I’ve tried watching before and can never make it through 20 minutes because these games are just flat out unentertaining. The most positive thing I can say about them is that women sustain longer possessions because everyone is so slow that the playing surface is essentially larger. It’s like watching Olympic hockey, but with middle school hockey players instead of NHLers.
The worst part about this team is, despite being boring as hell to watch, they’ve been throwing a big fucking tantrum for years about how important they’re supposed to be. They tried to go on strike and get paid like the men’s team, yet there was like 3,000 total fans at that Sweden game in Rio. They called FIFA sexist for having artificial turf fields in the Women’s World Cup even though half the MLS teams and every single high school team plays on that. They even complain that their jerseys are too attractive. I actually get excited when they lose now in the hopes that they start shutting the fuck up.
I’m all for women’s rights and shit, but this type of kowtowing is counterproductive to the cause. When you feed into the SJW agenda like this, you’re giving the real chauvinists the ammunition they need to start their movements. Let’s be better!!
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