Dodgers Trade Rape Rangers – Steal Yu Darvish

dodgers fans

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes.”

Proverbs 3:5-7

Remember, Rangers fans – Jon Daniels is our Lord & Savior.  Even when our simple minds can’t fully understand his methods, we must keep faith that He is all-knowing and his path will bring us at last to the Promised Land.  Its times like these where I can relate to religious people that think personal tragedies are god’s way of giving their lives meaning.  Because without this mind hack, my own path would be veering right off the nearest bridge.

I cannot objectively explain this deal as anything other than a brutal, soul crushing, anal trade rape.  We just traded our ace for a 5’6″ DH and two lottery tickets.  FanGraphs may be high af on Calhoun, but forgive me for not being convinced that a 5’6″ DH is a piss poor return for the only ace pitcher we’ve ever called our own.

People say we were in a buyer’s market with no leverage.  That’s bullshit.  The Dodgers need a title this year – it’s the best shot they’ll ever have at not wasting Kershaw’s prime – and their rotation behind him and Wood has looked anything but playoff ready.  You is moving to the NL, he’s getting Chavez Ravine to cut down on that sometimes shaky HR/FB rate, and he’s absolutely gonna be back in the top 5 pitcher club.  This trade makes it a lock for the Dodgers to win the World Series, and they risked fucking it all up to to hug prospects.

The same with the Injuns.  It’s now or never for them too and they opted to hoard Mejia instead of getting a much needed second ace who owns the Astros and Yankees.  Why let these teams off the hook?  Why not just keep our legendary ace, make a run for the wildcard, and resign him (and Otani)?  To me, it seems way better than a rebuild centered around a 5’6″ DH.

The only rationale I can see for this working out is that Jon Daniels’s big, beautiful brain knows an impending pitcher decline when he sees one (see: Cliff Lee).  Maybe. Even so, it’s still depressing as hell.  The only other reason I can think of is that our sketchy ass owners are priming the team for a sell once their free stadium gets built. And when the time comes, they want a trim payroll.  Growing up in Dallas, I can’t really say I’d know how to deal with that. It seems healthier to just block that shit outta my mind.