Corey Perry Got His Ass Beat in the Worst Hockey Fight of All Time

Right from the gate in yesterday’s Stars opener we were met with a familiar scene – getting screwed by the refs.

Tkachuk’s bullshit dive there led to an opening power play goal and ultimately swung the game. This is now three playoff games in a row where the Stars have been screwed by the refs. It’s starting to look Saints-esque for us, but this specific call falls more in line with the Kyle Rudolph push off in that we’re too much better than the other team to allow the refs to be a factor.

This call was also early in the game, so unlike the St Louis and Vegas hack jobs, we actually had time to respond for this one. First item on the list (besides killing a penalty, which we failed at) was for someone to step up and bash Tkachuk’s face in. Corey Perry decided he was the man for the job, and this ensued…

Tkachuk’s bullshit dive there led to an opening power play goal and ultimately swung the game. This is now three playoff games in a row where the Stars have been screwed by the refs. It’s starting to look Saints-esque for us, but this specific call falls more in line with the Kyle Rudolph push off in that we’re too much better than the other team to allow the refs to be a factor.

This call was also early in the game, so unlike the St Louis and Vegas hack jobs, we actually had time to respond for this one. First item on the list (besides killing a penalty, which we failed at) was for someone to step up and bash Tkachuk’s face in. Corey Perry decided he was the man for the job, and this ensued…

This is no doubt the worst hockey fighting performance of all time. Old man Perry didn’t land ONE single punch. His fist never even came within a foot of Tkachuk’s face. The implications were huge; it was time set a tone for the series and our old man got his ass beat instead. Utterly embarrassing for Dallas.

I can’t do Corey Perry anymore. I hated him in Anaheim and I hate him just as much now. The dark arts had an expiration date and it was a long ass time ago. He should never step on the ice in a Stars uniform again. We have a badass winger prospect (Jason Robertson) who plays the same position and he needs to take Perry’s spot immediately.

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As for everything else with the team, I’m not concerned at all. The series price is now +189 and that’s an easy double down. We are loads better than Calgary and should still win this easily in five or six. We just need three very simple adjustments:

  • Start Bishop – it’s cute to have two good goalies with rest but playoff Dobby was not as elite as regular season Dobby
  • Play Hintz/Gurianov – the Euro forwards are getting third line minutes even though they are by far the most productive on offense. Save the gritty defense lines for after these kids secure a lead
  • Scratch Corey Perry – enough said

3 thoughts on “Corey Perry Got His Ass Beat in the Worst Hockey Fight of All Time

  1. Corey Perry? I can’t even look at his face without contempt! The guys a dirty stick-work specialist, including spearing below the belt. For me, other than biting or face-spitting, that’s the lowest of the low you can get. Other than Brad Marchand (the face-licking rat!) no other hockey player boils my blood like who-me-whiner Corey Perry! Add Milan Lucid to that list and off the top of my head those are my most hated current NHLers.

    As far as the Playoffs this year? We all know that in the playoffs it’s the team that wants it the most that usually moves on. Not the most talented! I haven’t seen that desire level in the Stars yet?

    Liked by 1 person

    • They showed that level of desire in last year’s playoffs, but have looked like ghosts for the past 6 months (1 month of hockey tho). It’s possible something weird is going on with the squad having an interim coach because their young phenom leader got drunk and banged an ice girl and got fired midseason. It’s just natural in a situation like that to check out if you don’t believe in your coach’s direction because you know someone new is coming. Especially young players like Hintz and Gurianov who aren’t getting the minutes they’re worthy of.

      Last night was awesome though and the perfect bounce back from this game. Matched the Flames’s physicality and sent Tkachuk to the training room. If we bury them tonight while they’re still hurt (and we likely start a fresh goaltender in Dobby), I’ll feel much better about our mindset going forward. Stars -1.5

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well analyzed I must say! Although I’m not a Stars fan per say, I do know that getting Benn and Seguin playing consistently at the top of their game will be the key. When they’re motivated, they add the big offense to Dallas’ already Big Boy gameplay. In my mind, If they can remain fired-up and motivated for each and every game, then and only then are the Stars serious contenders. Hey, nice talking Hockey with you and Good luck to your team.

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