Sixto Clock Start to Save the Marlins Season

The Marlins have a Sixto Clock start this afternoon to save the season. The last time Sixto took the mound was on Friday when he and Yu Darvish put on an epic display of pitching porn…

After battling through brutal weather conditions (45 degrees Fahrenheit – what the fuck) to blank the Cubs 2-0 and advance to the NLDS, they celebrated with cigars on Wrigley Field while mocking that dirtbag Phillies analyst who called them bottom feeders.

In all of my time with the Marlins (been a lifelong fan since January), this is by far my proudest moment. What an incredible achievement for a rebuild year, and this squad is just getting started!


Ideally, the good times don’t end at Wrigley. We still have an undefeated all-time postseason series streak to protect, but prospects are looking grim with an 0-2 hole vs Atlanta.

We’ve had our chances, but unfortunately Mattingly has made a couple crucial mistakes.

The first was on Tuesday when he left Sandy out to dry after dealing heroically through the league’s best offense. His pitch count was at 91 and he went back out in the 7th with a one run lead.

Sandy threw four pitches. Here’s two of them…

Instead of giving Yimi Garcia clean bases, our best reliever came in with a two-on jam and the heart of the order up. The lead did not hold.


Unfortunately, it’s an all too familiar mistake for Mattingly. Clayton Kershaw’s playoff pedigree took a turn to the worst because of similar mismanagement in the 2014 NLDS, when twice he had gems that fell apart in the 7th inning. Both times Mattingly had leads, and both times they fell apart with a fatigued pitcher.

When a game is there to win, unload the bullpen!

Mattingly seemed to have learned his lesson against the Cubs when he pulled Sixto after five shutout innings just to be safe. Why didn’t he do it again to steal game 1?

Hopefully it’s the last time he makes this mistake and he doesn’t derail the dynasty.


The second Mattingly mistake is a bit ticky tacky but still a crucial moment in game 2…

Rough break, but in hindsight you have to pull out all the stops to go for the rally.


Matt Joyce was more at fault for the loss. He had a huge AB in the top of the 6th and this says it all…

Mother fucker man.

He’s benched for today and might’ve played his last game for the Marlins. Sad.



One last note before turning my eyes to Sixto is that Acuna is a little bitch and I’ve lost all respect I had for him this season. He will not give that stupid Urena pitch a fucking rest.

Every single time he gets hit, he tries to start a fight. Three Marlins players have been HBP by the Braves more over the last two seasons than Acuna has by us, and none of those three players crowd the plate like Acuna does. Give it a god damn rest already.

This slide is unacceptable and has no place in baseball in 2020. Truly unbelievable, but I bet you won’t see Rojas spending the next two seasons whining and moaning about it.

Fuck Atlanta. Go Fish. 

Sixto Clock Start to Save the Marlins Season

End This Shitty Rangers Season With the Most Epic Silver Boot Ever

Huge loss by the Rangers last night. Huuuuge and clutch loss for us!

We almost screwed ourselves after building 3-0 lead through five. We were looking way too dominant and I was getting pissed.

Finally in the bottom of the 6th, Wes Benjamin was reminded that he’s a 27 year old rookie with no future in the league and was out there for one single job. He got it done. Six run shellacking to pull the D-Bags ahead and save our season.

Jack Leiter, here we come! Wooooh let’s go!

Second-to-last is all but wrapped. The Pirates have a matinee in a few minutes coming up and if they win that, they’ll have fucked up and won a four game series vs the Cubs. Kumar may be in reach!


Four games left vs the crybaby disastros. Should we just let them win and get back to the rivalry next year? Seems like it would be worth it for Kumar, yeah?

Hmm actually, fuck no…

We’re going for that Silver Boot baby! Let’s. Fucking. Go.

Lance Lynn is on the mound tonight. So glad we didn’t trade him. Give it to me Lance! Give it to me Lance! Push! Push!



Other News:

The Marlins have been fucking up. Started off this Braves series with three runs in the top of the 1st, and then gave up four in the bottom frame. They’ve lost all three games and have been outscored 25-9. What the hell?

Fortunately, the phillies have been fucking up worse, losing 3 of 4 to the Nats (the team we beat over the weekend). The magic number has gone from 6 to 3 this week and we haven’t won a game yet. Sick.

Still, it’s only a one game lead right now. Hopefully Pablo Lopez rescues us tonight.


Yu Darvish has his final start tomorrow against the White Sox. He spent most of the year in the drivers seat for Cy Young, but that pissant little bitch Trevor Bauer pitched his fifth straight gem last night. 

Yu was +2500 for Cy Young before the season. As someone who’s on that and also went on Twins to win the Central to make up for all the failed Rangers tickets, this is a huge ass game for me. Definitely will be my intermission activity during Stars.

End This Shitty Rangers Season With the Most Epic Silver Boot Ever

Last Week of the Marlins Pennant Race – Magic Number 6

There are seven games left in the Marlins regular season and it’s time to clinch a playoff spot.

We went 4-4 against the Red Sox and Nats over the past week, which is somewhat weak for two bad teams but it doesn’t matter because we beat the piss out of philly in the much more important series beforehand.


On deck to end the season is four games at Braves and then three games at Yankees. Best case scenario: sweep the Braves and leapfrog them for 1st place in the East.

If that doesn’t happen, we have to either (1) finish ahead of the phillies or (2) finish ahead TWO teams of either Cards, Reds, Brewers, or Giants.

The magic number with the phillies is SIX. They have four games at Nats followed by three games at Rays. If the Rays have the AL East locked up by then and rest their starters, then the Yankees would be doing the same thing in our last series. Advantage Marlins for sure.


The computers give us about an 80% chance of clinching, but I think it’s more like 100%. We’ve got a nice week of relatively low stress but still important games coming up. As long as there’s not a total collapse, the Marlins are playing October baseball.

And once that happens, hoo boy watch out. Not only are the Fish undefeated in playoff series all time, but they’ve got a trio of aces – Sixto Sanchez, Pablo Lopez, and Sandy Alcantara – that could put the fear of god into any NL team outside of SoCal.

Not bad for year #3 of the Jeter rebuild. Let’s finish this season off and start making some RE2PECT The Process noise come October.

Last Week of the Marlins Pennant Race – Magic Number 6

Marlins Murder the Phillies 5-2 in Their Seven Game Mega Series

Last weekend, the Marlins started the mega 7 game series against the phillies to essentially decide a playoff spot, and it was a beatdown of 5 games to 2.

Hahahaha, what a fucking joke the phillies are. So nice to be cheering for another team with a philly division rival. What a trash organization and trash city.

Bryce Harper’s annual salary – $26M. Marlins total payroll – $31M. God what a sick rebuild year this has become. It’s not just a rebuild year; it’s a PLAYOFF rebuild year.

Let’s see how these wins came down…

Thu 9/10: 7-6

Marlins looked tired until the phillies trash bullpen got in the game and we got to work. Starling Marte, the best trade deadline get in all of MLB, hit a three run double to tie the game.

In the bottom of the 9th, we stole third against the shitty catcher that we traded to philly last year (JT Realmuto). That runner was batted in by Jorge Alfaro, the supposedly failed catcher prospect that we got back from philly to replace Realmuto.

Oh the sweet irony. It was the third straight game that Alfaro batted in 2 RBIs.


Fri 9/11: 5-3

This was the second game of a doubleheader and it was a bullpen game, which made things easy because philly’s bullpen sucks so much.

Lewis Brinson, the much hyped prospect from the Yelich trade and presumed bust, got a homer to start things off. He’s actually been having a huge month and looks like he doesn’t suck anymore. Fast as fuck centerfielder stud, here we come…

And again, the game winning RBI went to Alfaro on this infield hit.

It was the fourth straight game that Alfaro batted in 2 RBIs.


Sun 9/13: 2-1

Sixto clock Sunday. Easy money! Man that Realmuto trade was so awesome for us.

What a fucking start for this kid. Can’t wait for everyone to see him in the playoffs.


Sun 9/13: 8-1

The second half of the Sunday doubleheader was a thrashing. Braxton Garrett, a former #7 overall pick who had Tommy John, had an awesome debut. 5 innings, 6 strikeouts, 1 run.

The play of the game came on defense though…


Mon 9/14: 6-2

The Monday matinee capper was another thrashing. Pablo Lopez, another sick young arm in the rotation, went 7 innings for 1 run.

Again, defense was on display. Which of these Willie Mays catches by Matt Joyce is better?

I vote #2

Defense wins championships! If you can’t hit a home run, you’re not scoring on the Marlins. Sucks to be philly.


Start paying attention

Marlins Murder the Phillies 5-2 in Their Seven Game Mega Series

The Fish Are Looking Fresh Ahead of a Mega Series vs Philly

The Marlins are about to have a long weekend of their most important stretch of the season – seven total games over five days against the Phillies.

It’s part of a slate of 27 games over the final 23 days of the season with zero off days and four doubleheaders within 10 days. However, the most important part of that slate is tonight through Monday, as Miami and Philly are neck and neck for the all important 2nd place guaranteed playoff spot.

The series starts tonight, with Sandy Alcantara aka ‘The Sandy Man’ starting against Jake Spare-ieta.

Fortunately for the Fish, they’ve been looking pretty good coming into this. They just completed a six game road trip through Tampa and Atlanta and went 3-3. Not so shabby getting a split against two first place teams.


The first win of the stretch came last Saturday when Alcantara went 6 IP, 1 ER, and 8 Ks. It affirmed him as officially back from covid.

We should have won the series on Sunday when Starling Marte hit a two run shot in the first frame and rookie ace-in-training Trevor Rogers on the mound. Unfortunately, Tampa clawed their way back to tie.

We then blew two 0 out, runner on 2nd opportunities in the 8th and 9th. We scored in the 10th, but Kintzler blew a save for the first time in ten tries (albeit it was extra innings).


The Fish made up for Sunday’s disappointment by killing it against the Braves.

The series started with an awesome matinee on Monday afternoon. In the bottom of the 4th, Acuña was crowding the plate with his armor got himself beaned by Ureña again. He spent the rest of the game moping, including later that inning when his lazy ass got picked off at 2nd.

It was pretty tight.

Kintzler blew a second save in a row, this time a real one with clean bases in the 9th, but we got the job done in the 10th for a W.


Tuesday was Sixto Clock and he breezed through a dominant six innings for blowout win.

We lost the sweep on Wednesday and everyone is pointing to the 29 runs scored against as an embarrassment. In reality, we got screwed by the umps.

In the bottom of the second, a one out sac fly looked to be turned into an ending inning, run removing double play thanks to Marte’s cannon.

Instead, the retard replay officials called it safe and it became a ten run swing. Lopez got chased and was replaced by shitty Jordan Yamamoto and we basically forfeited the game to rest arms.

Sucks to not sweep the Braves, and it sucks to get made fun of for allowing 29 runs, but a series win is still a series win and going 3-3 against two first place teams is a great success for the playoff chase.


Continue that success through this weekend, and we get to start warming up for playoff baseball. Gotta love the 2020 season.

The Fish Are Looking Fresh Ahead of a Mega Series vs Philly

It’s Sixto Clock Time for the Surging Marlins

It’s been a couple weeks since I wrote on Marlins because we’ve had Dallas playoff games every day keeping me busy. Let’s catch up on the fish now.

Back then, we were 8-4 and leading the division from day 1. Immediately after, we went 1-5 and started falling apart. Fortunately, one of those series was against the Mets when they were infected with covid and our final game against them got canceled.

Covid breaks are like magic elixir to the Marlins. Nobody streaks out of covid breaks like the Marlins. We took 3 out of 5 against the Nats, followed by 2 out of 3 vs the Mets. A playoff spot is ours to lose…

The biggest highlight of this stretch was last Saturday’s debut of ‘Sixto Clock’, aka a start by our badass prospect Sixto Sanchez. He is the truth. He’s got the cool name, cool hair, coooool cool stuff.

His fastball hit 100 four times in the first inning and averaged 99 until the 5th inning. It’s a straight up heater. He’s also got a decent slider, but his out pitch seems to be a wicked changeup that drops hard. Here’s an example of all three…

His next start is tonight and I cannot wait to watch. I haven’t been this excited for a pitcher on my team since Yu Darvish was on the Rangers.

There’s more pitching reinforcements coming too. Sandy Alcantara, Jose Urena, and Caleb Smith are all practicing again from a sketchily long duration on the covid list. That’s two aces and a plus starter being added to Sixto in the 4 spot. We’re already in playoff position without these guys; we can make some serious noise now with them.



-Half of Degrom’s starts this year have been against the Marlins. He’s had six starts and each of the last three have been against us. Are you kidding me man?? We lost all by a total of four runs. Matchup luck is only gonna get better.

-Seven inning doubleheaders are so awesome. We are 5-1 in them on the year, with a lone loss going against Scherzer (and only losing by one). More of those please.

-A cool part of Marlins fandom is being rivals with Atlanta and having more reason to cheer against those losers. They were on Sunday Night Baseball earlier this week and this is how the game ended

-We also get to be rivals with philly, my #1 nemesis city. They traded us Sixto last year for JT Realmuto and will be regretting that one for years. That’s tight.


UPDATE: Sixto’s next start is actually tomorrow against Tampa as the final Mets game is postponed. This is a classy move…

It’s Sixto Clock Time for the Surging Marlins

Bunting Is Back in Baseball and It’s Beautiful to Behold

The coolest thing about MLB’s new extra innings rule is that bunting is back. On Tuesday night when the Marlins went to extras vs the Buffalo BJ’s, we witnessed something that previously hadn’t existed since the Stone Age… A leadoff bunt!

Because it was sudden death given that Buffalo was at home, Mattingly reacted with a mad scramble on defense that was fun to watch. Five infielders. Shift after shift based on the swings of the next batter Cavan Biggio (son of Craig). We almost got a full count to make things interesting, but strike two was instead called as ball four because of bad pitch framing…

Marlins ended up losing, but it was thrilling as hell. We also can’t knock Cervelli’s pitch framing because one inning earlier he had a badass three run, game tying moon shot with two outs in the 9th.


It took the Marlins less than 24 hours to exact revenge once last night’s game also went to extras…

What a bunt! The first baseman was charging, going for the lead runner instead of the out. And Berti, with that wizard brain of his, pushed it the other way. I never thought I’d see tactics like this again outside of co-rec kickball games, but here we are in 2020 seeing it in the MLB.


This new baseball is objectively incredible. It should definitely be adopted for the postseason. Who cares about designated hitters anymore? This is more fun strategy than we ever could’ve dreamed.

In fact, they should bring this into the first 9 innings. Here’s the new rule proposal – if you strike out the side, you get a runner on 2nd for the next frame. Boom. Whole new awesome ballgame.


The Marlins actually tried a safety squeeze with the next batter, but it went foul and we settled for a traditional rally to win. The record is now 8-4. Only the Cubs and Athletics have higher win percentages. Can you say… hunt for the 1 seed?

Bunting Is Back in Baseball and It’s Beautiful to Behold

The Marlins Have Been Leading the NL East Since Opening Day

We’re now sitting here in the month of August and the Marlins have been leading the NL East since day 1 of the season. Prior to this year, the Marlins had never held a lead in the month of August and in fact have never won the division despite being a 2x World Series champ. You know they say third time’s a charm and as crazy as 2020 has become, it’s not unreasonable proclaim this as the year Miami finally gets a division crown to along with World Series banner #3.

Last week, we swept the Orioles in a four game series on the way to a 7-1 start. Some might say “well yeah that’s just the Orioles”, but Baltimore is actually 8-3 outside of that series. They had just swept the Rays beforehand and have not lost any of their games since. The Orioles are sucking a lot less this year, except against Miami that is.

Haters often malign the Marlins as a ‘lucky’ team for winning fluke titles, but you should call us anything but lucky this year. Not only did that covid outbreak leave all our players in solitary confinement for over a week, but our two most important players (ace pitchers José Ureña and Sandy Alcántara) are still inactive because of it.

Without those pocket aces in hand, Don Mattingly has masterfully managed a pitch-by-committee system to hold things down. He’s used five or more pitchers in 6 out of 8 games since covid restart. He used four pitchers in those other two games. The most valiant effort came from prospect Humberto Mejia, who had never pitched above Class A before starting Friday night at the Mets. He struck out a cool six over 2.1 innings.

Sick stuff.

Unfortunately we’re on a slight losing streak now. We got Degrom’d on Sunday, which is fine. Last night, we got unlucky as hell after a go ahead homer in the 10th got called back for being inches too foul. Again luck is not on our side this year… But we’re still in first place and things are going to turn. We’ll start getting those breaks and we’ll get our two aces back, and then we’ll be in first by way more.

The Marlins Have Been Leading the NL East Since Opening Day

Life as a Marlins Fan Gets off to a Rocky Start

My first weekend of baseball as a Marlins fan was the best of times and the worst of times.

We took two out of three at philly and Alcantara is a bonafide ace. That was the best of times. Immediately following Sunday’s 10-6 thrashing of those scumbag phillies, the worst of times began as my fish started dominating headlines in a manner I wasn’t expecting for years.

Now the doomers are out in full force on the internet thinking that baseball will be canceled over the Marlins. Are you kidding me? I’ve been a lifelong Marlins fan for a few months now. I love the team. But even I know that baseball would never shut down over the MARLINS.


However, some of the league might be shut down for a week, and the complicity for this falls squarely on the Marlins. They knew of a potential outbreak before Sunday’s game, and had a casual group text decision to play through it anyway. This put the phillies and their opponents at risk and exponentially exacerbated the scheduling chaos. It’s shocking that this was allowed to happen.

You can’t blame the Marlins players for this irresponsible decision – they are young and playing for their jobs. The failure lies in league and club leadership that allowed for the decision to be put in players’ hands in the first place. Manfred must address that immediately with updated protocols.


I also put blame on the doomers who are dominating discourse throughout the sports universe. If the Marlins had taken the responsible and cautious approach, the PR hysteria would’ve been no different on Sunday than it was during the week. In a way, it was worth it for baseball’s image to just push the problem past opening weekend. That’s on society as much as it is on baseball.

If these doomers cared about mental health as much as they normally pretend, then they should know that sports is an essential industry. Recognize that in your attitude and also recognize that, with adequate testing and protocols, it is possible to prevent outbreaks. Sports leagues all over the world have been doing it for months.


Chances are low that phillies players caught the virus. If that’s the case, this isn’t such a big deal in the grand scheme of things as long as lessons are learned going forward. This was predicted, and it can be overcome. Maybe they should set up a postseason bubble to keep the playoffs smooth though.

Most importantly, this primes our brain for what is about to happen with football, the most essential industry in the world. Get the scaries out of the way with baseball so we can be ready to power through with NFL.

Life as a Marlins Fan Gets off to a Rocky Start