End This Shitty Rangers Season With the Most Epic Silver Boot Ever

Huge loss by the Rangers last night. Huuuuge and clutch loss for us!

We almost screwed ourselves after building 3-0 lead through five. We were looking way too dominant and I was getting pissed.

Finally in the bottom of the 6th, Wes Benjamin was reminded that he’s a 27 year old rookie with no future in the league and was out there for one single job. He got it done. Six run shellacking to pull the D-Bags ahead and save our season.

Jack Leiter, here we come! Wooooh let’s go!

Second-to-last is all but wrapped. The Pirates have a matinee in a few minutes coming up and if they win that, they’ll have fucked up and won a four game series vs the Cubs. Kumar may be in reach!


Four games left vs the crybaby disastros. Should we just let them win and get back to the rivalry next year? Seems like it would be worth it for Kumar, yeah?

Hmm actually, fuck no…

We’re going for that Silver Boot baby! Let’s. Fucking. Go.

Lance Lynn is on the mound tonight. So glad we didn’t trade him. Give it to me Lance! Give it to me Lance! Push! Push!



Other News:

The Marlins have been fucking up. Started off this Braves series with three runs in the top of the 1st, and then gave up four in the bottom frame. They’ve lost all three games and have been outscored 25-9. What the hell?

Fortunately, the phillies have been fucking up worse, losing 3 of 4 to the Nats (the team we beat over the weekend). The magic number has gone from 6 to 3 this week and we haven’t won a game yet. Sick.

Still, it’s only a one game lead right now. Hopefully Pablo Lopez rescues us tonight.


Yu Darvish has his final start tomorrow against the White Sox. He spent most of the year in the drivers seat for Cy Young, but that pissant little bitch Trevor Bauer pitched his fifth straight gem last night. 

Yu was +2500 for Cy Young before the season. As someone who’s on that and also went on Twins to win the Central to make up for all the failed Rangers tickets, this is a huge ass game for me. Definitely will be my intermission activity during Stars.

End This Shitty Rangers Season With the Most Epic Silver Boot Ever

Rangers Can Salvage the Season With a Clutch Loss to Arizona Tonight

In the month that has passed since getting ritually massacred by Slam Diego and their four straight grand slams, the Rangers season has gone from doomed to straight up catastrophic.

They ended that Padres series at 10-14 and proceeded to trash up the joint over the ensuing weeks for a 3-13 record. Somehow, that losing streak was so great that the Rangers finished Labor Day within the grasp of the greatest beacon of hope this franchise has ever seen.

Standing at 13-27, the Rangers were a half game ahead (behind?) the Pittsburgh Pirates for dead last in the MLB and the rights to draft this guy…

Holy shit. Fuck winning. We’re still rebuilding anyway. We can make a run for this blindian sensation and get one of the most badass prospects I’ve ever seen!


Not so fast, says Lance Lynn as he immediately spearheads a series win vs Angels and a split with the freakin 1st place Athletics.

What the hell, man? We had nothing to gain by winning and everything to lose! Why, whhyyyy did we have to start winning all of a sudden?

The worst part – we could have easily traded Lynn for a haul at the deadline. If it weren’t for Shane Bieber, he’d be in the drivers seat of a Cy Young race. He’s an ASSET and then some for prospective playoff teams.

1.93 ERA and .92 WHIP going into the deadline. A 4-1 record with our garbage ass offense. This is a bonified ace starting pitcher for chrissakes! What is he doing on our team still??


Jon Daniels said the offers weren’t good enough, but that’s hard to believe and his seat has grown hotter than it’s ever been. This is a tough pill to swallow.

Anybody’s who’s read my baseblogs before will know that I’m a huge Jon Daniels apologist and that isn’t changing any time soon. I find it impossible to believe he’s as stupid as he’s seemed to look this year.

A more likely theory is that our sketchy-as-hell ownership group found themselves in a serious bind by building a new stadium (albeit after scamming the hell out of Arlington) and opening it in a fan-less pandemic season. On top of oil markets crashing all year, the owners are kind of fucked and need to sell tickets next year. They wouldn’t sign off on a tear-down.

It’s a much more sound theory than the idea that our god GM, who’s been among the smartest men in baseball for 15 years, would be so mind-numbingly over his head at the trade deadline.


Fortunately, there’s still hope for 2020. We won’t be able to finish last place, but it looked like that was out of reach from the start because the Pirates are just so god damn awful that out-losing them was impossible. But we do have a shot at second to last…

And there’s another pitcher from Vandy that’s apparently almost as good as Kumar – Jack Leiter. Oh shit, that’s awesome!

We entered a two game series at Arizona last night, and the Rangers struck first with a clutch as hell blowout loss. D-bags over Rangers in a 7-0 drubbing. Love it.

If we lose tonight, we have a 3.5 game cushion over those fuckers with just four games vs houston remaining. The battle for Leiter would be all but won.

Come on Rangers – LOSE!!

We’re starting some shitty 27 year old rookie named Wes Benjamin.

D-bags -151. Lock it up.

Rangers Can Salvage the Season With a Clutch Loss to Arizona Tonight

Last Week of the Marlins Pennant Race – Magic Number 6

There are seven games left in the Marlins regular season and it’s time to clinch a playoff spot.

We went 4-4 against the Red Sox and Nats over the past week, which is somewhat weak for two bad teams but it doesn’t matter because we beat the piss out of philly in the much more important series beforehand.


On deck to end the season is four games at Braves and then three games at Yankees. Best case scenario: sweep the Braves and leapfrog them for 1st place in the East.

If that doesn’t happen, we have to either (1) finish ahead of the phillies or (2) finish ahead TWO teams of either Cards, Reds, Brewers, or Giants.

The magic number with the phillies is SIX. They have four games at Nats followed by three games at Rays. If the Rays have the AL East locked up by then and rest their starters, then the Yankees would be doing the same thing in our last series. Advantage Marlins for sure.


The computers give us about an 80% chance of clinching, but I think it’s more like 100%. We’ve got a nice week of relatively low stress but still important games coming up. As long as there’s not a total collapse, the Marlins are playing October baseball.

And once that happens, hoo boy watch out. Not only are the Fish undefeated in playoff series all time, but they’ve got a trio of aces – Sixto Sanchez, Pablo Lopez, and Sandy Alcantara – that could put the fear of god into any NL team outside of SoCal.

Not bad for year #3 of the Jeter rebuild. Let’s finish this season off and start making some RE2PECT The Process noise come October.

Last Week of the Marlins Pennant Race – Magic Number 6

Marlins Murder the Phillies 5-2 in Their Seven Game Mega Series

Last weekend, the Marlins started the mega 7 game series against the phillies to essentially decide a playoff spot, and it was a beatdown of 5 games to 2.

Hahahaha, what a fucking joke the phillies are. So nice to be cheering for another team with a philly division rival. What a trash organization and trash city.

Bryce Harper’s annual salary – $26M. Marlins total payroll – $31M. God what a sick rebuild year this has become. It’s not just a rebuild year; it’s a PLAYOFF rebuild year.

Let’s see how these wins came down…

Thu 9/10: 7-6

Marlins looked tired until the phillies trash bullpen got in the game and we got to work. Starling Marte, the best trade deadline get in all of MLB, hit a three run double to tie the game.

In the bottom of the 9th, we stole third against the shitty catcher that we traded to philly last year (JT Realmuto). That runner was batted in by Jorge Alfaro, the supposedly failed catcher prospect that we got back from philly to replace Realmuto.

Oh the sweet irony. It was the third straight game that Alfaro batted in 2 RBIs.


Fri 9/11: 5-3

This was the second game of a doubleheader and it was a bullpen game, which made things easy because philly’s bullpen sucks so much.

Lewis Brinson, the much hyped prospect from the Yelich trade and presumed bust, got a homer to start things off. He’s actually been having a huge month and looks like he doesn’t suck anymore. Fast as fuck centerfielder stud, here we come…

And again, the game winning RBI went to Alfaro on this infield hit.

It was the fourth straight game that Alfaro batted in 2 RBIs.


Sun 9/13: 2-1

Sixto clock Sunday. Easy money! Man that Realmuto trade was so awesome for us.

What a fucking start for this kid. Can’t wait for everyone to see him in the playoffs.


Sun 9/13: 8-1

The second half of the Sunday doubleheader was a thrashing. Braxton Garrett, a former #7 overall pick who had Tommy John, had an awesome debut. 5 innings, 6 strikeouts, 1 run.

The play of the game came on defense though…


Mon 9/14: 6-2

The Monday matinee capper was another thrashing. Pablo Lopez, another sick young arm in the rotation, went 7 innings for 1 run.

Again, defense was on display. Which of these Willie Mays catches by Matt Joyce is better?

I vote #2

Defense wins championships! If you can’t hit a home run, you’re not scoring on the Marlins. Sucks to be philly.


Start paying attention

Marlins Murder the Phillies 5-2 in Their Seven Game Mega Series

The Fish Are Looking Fresh Ahead of a Mega Series vs Philly

The Marlins are about to have a long weekend of their most important stretch of the season – seven total games over five days against the Phillies.

It’s part of a slate of 27 games over the final 23 days of the season with zero off days and four doubleheaders within 10 days. However, the most important part of that slate is tonight through Monday, as Miami and Philly are neck and neck for the all important 2nd place guaranteed playoff spot.

The series starts tonight, with Sandy Alcantara aka ‘The Sandy Man’ starting against Jake Spare-ieta.

Fortunately for the Fish, they’ve been looking pretty good coming into this. They just completed a six game road trip through Tampa and Atlanta and went 3-3. Not so shabby getting a split against two first place teams.


The first win of the stretch came last Saturday when Alcantara went 6 IP, 1 ER, and 8 Ks. It affirmed him as officially back from covid.

We should have won the series on Sunday when Starling Marte hit a two run shot in the first frame and rookie ace-in-training Trevor Rogers on the mound. Unfortunately, Tampa clawed their way back to tie.

We then blew two 0 out, runner on 2nd opportunities in the 8th and 9th. We scored in the 10th, but Kintzler blew a save for the first time in ten tries (albeit it was extra innings).


The Fish made up for Sunday’s disappointment by killing it against the Braves.

The series started with an awesome matinee on Monday afternoon. In the bottom of the 4th, Acuña was crowding the plate with his armor got himself beaned by Ureña again. He spent the rest of the game moping, including later that inning when his lazy ass got picked off at 2nd.

It was pretty tight.

Kintzler blew a second save in a row, this time a real one with clean bases in the 9th, but we got the job done in the 10th for a W.


Tuesday was Sixto Clock and he breezed through a dominant six innings for blowout win.

We lost the sweep on Wednesday and everyone is pointing to the 29 runs scored against as an embarrassment. In reality, we got screwed by the umps.

In the bottom of the second, a one out sac fly looked to be turned into an ending inning, run removing double play thanks to Marte’s cannon.

Instead, the retard replay officials called it safe and it became a ten run swing. Lopez got chased and was replaced by shitty Jordan Yamamoto and we basically forfeited the game to rest arms.

Sucks to not sweep the Braves, and it sucks to get made fun of for allowing 29 runs, but a series win is still a series win and going 3-3 against two first place teams is a great success for the playoff chase.


Continue that success through this weekend, and we get to start warming up for playoff baseball. Gotta love the 2020 season.

The Fish Are Looking Fresh Ahead of a Mega Series vs Philly

Derek Dietrich Joins the Rangers and Immediately Wins Us Three Straight Games

Jon Daniels did more than just gift us Rafael Montero (the coolest closer in the league) to turn the season around; he got us a badass new batter too. Derek Dietrich first entered the lineup on Wednesday and immediately won us three straight games. Let’s break it down…


Dietrich’s ability to take an HBP is one of the things he’s been known for in the past, as he led the MLB with 24 in 2016. He knows the value of a free base and he stands firm like a man when a pitch drifts his way. This came out big in his first game with us.

Down 4-0 in the 6th and us getting dominated by Seattle all game, Dietrich takes a two out HBP that he easily could’ve avoided. That free base turns into a stolen base when he catches Seattle in a shift, which turns into a 2 out run.

A comeback win ensues and we take the series against the Mariners.


Next game was at Colorado on Friday night. Pinch hitting in the top of the 8th with a 2-2 tie, he takes one for the team again. You could hear the ball crack against his bone it was so loud.

By getting on first base, he opened the infield for a Choo bouncer to get through. A couple batters later, bam we got a game winning GIDP RBI.


It doesn’t always have to be scrappy; he can get runs the old fashioned way too. Case in point the very next night in Colorado. Tenuous 3-2 lead in the top of the 8th. Two outs, two runners on and the first pitch he sees turns into a Dietrich Dong.

Boooom! Game iced. Rangers are ABOVE 500 for the first time since Opening Day.


Dietrich was playing regularly for the Marlins from 2015-2017, the first two seasons of which were really good. When Dee Gordon got suspended for steroids, he became the regular 2B and hit .279 and an OPS+ of 121.

He was helping the Marlins mash in a lineup that also included Stanton, Yelich, Realmuto, and Ozuna. Once the fire sale started, his play slipped and he eventually started bouncing around to the Reds and Cubs minor league systems.

He got released last week and JD snapped him up within a day. What a pickup it’s been so far. Not only is he winning games for us, but he’s also put trash ass Odor on the bench so that dude can stop losing games for us.

What an August for a rebuilding team huh?

Derek Dietrich Joins the Rangers and Immediately Wins Us Three Straight Games

Rafael Montero Is the Coolest Closer in the League

Are the Rangers any good? No. Are they in playoff position regardless? You bet your ass they are!

One of the reasons for that is our new shut down closer Rafael Montero. He got his first save a week ago and has been 4/4 since. Four innings, four strikeouts, four saves, and ZERO baserunners allowed.

Another diamond in the rough discovered by our lord and savior Jon Daniels. He signed a minor league contract last year while recovering from Tommy John, and now he is a bonafide badass closer. At WORST, he could net us some sick prospects in a trade for the price of… nothing!


Earlier in his career (2016-2017), Montero was a big time prospect for the Mets. I spoke with some Mets fans and they both said that Montero starts were appointment viewing for a time, but injuries and poor organizational development fucked him over. At any rate, he’s 10x the closer that Ed-lose Diaz is.

One of the reasons he might be working out better here than Queens is the switch from rotation to the bullpen. He’s been throwing 97% fastball and changeups, but his fastballs move slickly and paint black. It’s a closer’s repertoire.

Montero also has the perfect demeanor for the role. He checks off all three C’s of closer intangibles perfectly – cool hair, confidence, composure. 


When José Leclerc comes back from injury, he can share setup duties with rookie phenom Jonathan Hernández. Then we have Kluber possibly coming back as the best middle reliever of all time, and all of a sudden our bullpen is the best it’s been since 2011.

‘Minor, Lynn, and what then?’ is now ‘Minor, Lynn, and our badass bullpen’. Thanks Jon Daniels!


Series win at Seattle. We are now officially in mid-August with meaningful Rangers baseball. If the bats suck a little bit less, we’ll be in the playoffs with one of the best pitching staffs in the majors. Can’t ask for anything more in a rebuild year.

Let’s get after it

Rafael Montero Is the Coolest Closer in the League

Bunting Is Back in Baseball and It’s Beautiful to Behold

The coolest thing about MLB’s new extra innings rule is that bunting is back. On Tuesday night when the Marlins went to extras vs the Buffalo BJ’s, we witnessed something that previously hadn’t existed since the Stone Age… A leadoff bunt!

Because it was sudden death given that Buffalo was at home, Mattingly reacted with a mad scramble on defense that was fun to watch. Five infielders. Shift after shift based on the swings of the next batter Cavan Biggio (son of Craig). We almost got a full count to make things interesting, but strike two was instead called as ball four because of bad pitch framing…

Marlins ended up losing, but it was thrilling as hell. We also can’t knock Cervelli’s pitch framing because one inning earlier he had a badass three run, game tying moon shot with two outs in the 9th.


It took the Marlins less than 24 hours to exact revenge once last night’s game also went to extras…

What a bunt! The first baseman was charging, going for the lead runner instead of the out. And Berti, with that wizard brain of his, pushed it the other way. I never thought I’d see tactics like this again outside of co-rec kickball games, but here we are in 2020 seeing it in the MLB.


This new baseball is objectively incredible. It should definitely be adopted for the postseason. Who cares about designated hitters anymore? This is more fun strategy than we ever could’ve dreamed.

In fact, they should bring this into the first 9 innings. Here’s the new rule proposal – if you strike out the side, you get a runner on 2nd for the next frame. Boom. Whole new awesome ballgame.


The Marlins actually tried a safety squeeze with the next batter, but it went foul and we settled for a traditional rally to win. The record is now 8-4. Only the Cubs and Athletics have higher win percentages. Can you say… hunt for the 1 seed?

Bunting Is Back in Baseball and It’s Beautiful to Behold

The Marlins Have Been Leading the NL East Since Opening Day

We’re now sitting here in the month of August and the Marlins have been leading the NL East since day 1 of the season. Prior to this year, the Marlins had never held a lead in the month of August and in fact have never won the division despite being a 2x World Series champ. You know they say third time’s a charm and as crazy as 2020 has become, it’s not unreasonable proclaim this as the year Miami finally gets a division crown to along with World Series banner #3.

Last week, we swept the Orioles in a four game series on the way to a 7-1 start. Some might say “well yeah that’s just the Orioles”, but Baltimore is actually 8-3 outside of that series. They had just swept the Rays beforehand and have not lost any of their games since. The Orioles are sucking a lot less this year, except against Miami that is.

Haters often malign the Marlins as a ‘lucky’ team for winning fluke titles, but you should call us anything but lucky this year. Not only did that covid outbreak leave all our players in solitary confinement for over a week, but our two most important players (ace pitchers José Ureña and Sandy Alcántara) are still inactive because of it.

Without those pocket aces in hand, Don Mattingly has masterfully managed a pitch-by-committee system to hold things down. He’s used five or more pitchers in 6 out of 8 games since covid restart. He used four pitchers in those other two games. The most valiant effort came from prospect Humberto Mejia, who had never pitched above Class A before starting Friday night at the Mets. He struck out a cool six over 2.1 innings.

Sick stuff.

Unfortunately we’re on a slight losing streak now. We got Degrom’d on Sunday, which is fine. Last night, we got unlucky as hell after a go ahead homer in the 10th got called back for being inches too foul. Again luck is not on our side this year… But we’re still in first place and things are going to turn. We’ll start getting those breaks and we’ll get our two aces back, and then we’ll be in first by way more.

The Marlins Have Been Leading the NL East Since Opening Day

Whiny Bitches in Netball and Baseball

Last week, the wide world of sports experienced a shockwave from Australia when their netball league added a controversial 2 point shot.  Players are upset because the league did not consult with them for the rule change, but after further research I can conclude that those players are being whiny bitches.

The current game is boring as shit – there’s on average 80 total goals in a match and all of them are shot within two feet of the basket.  The YouTube highlights are just plain awful and it was obvious within seconds that this was a much needed rule change.  In fact, I don’t know how netball was ever watchable to begin with, but apparently this rule change will take the style of play back to older days when it was more exciting…

You know what sport also used to be way more exciting than it is today?  America’s national pastime.  Did you know that baseball games are now 45 minutes longer than they were when the sport was popular?  Well now you do.

Manfred’s #1 priority since taking over as commissioner has been pace of play.  We’ve gotten mound visit limits, shorter commercial breaks, and this season we’ll have extra-inning baserunners and no more LOOGYs.  However, the single most obvious and pressing need, the PITCH CLOCK, keeps getting railroaded by the MLBPA.  If only Manfred had the same powers over his whiny bitches as the netball commissioner has, I might have friends that care about baseball again.

So spare me the grief from all those stupid covid negotiations.  The owners are crooked as hell no doubt, but that doesn’t mean we have to sympathize with these white millionaire assholes one bit.  If any of the Latin American players were throwing hissy fits online about ‘the system’, I would give them credence.  Instead, we get stupid catfights between Trevor Bauer and Aubrey Huff, two rich white guys who were blessed enough to join pay-to-play youth travel squads that real American athletes can’t afford.  Ian Desmond was right.

Meanwhile, they turn their backs on the fans.  They pissed away the opportunity to recapture a huge market with July baseball spotlighted across a very bored America.  I don’t care if they’re at more fault than wicked owners or not.  If they want sympathy from the fans, then they need to start giving back to the fans for once.

Not fighting tooth and nail to protect little shits like this dude on a 13 year, $330 million(!) contract.

Fuck outta here…  PITCH CLOCK – NOW!

Whiny Bitches in Netball and Baseball