When the Dodgers trade raped us back in July, one of the toughest pills to swallow was the fact that my dream of a Yu vs. Houston ALDS was over. He’s owned the shit out of this team his whole career, and I’d been dreaming all summer long of him putting the Astros and these smug Houstonian fuckheads in their places come October. Instead, we bowed out, Boston showed their ass, Cleveland fucked up, and now we’re here.
Game 7 and my favorite player ever, my lord and savior and God, gets the ball against these cocky little shits. Game 3? It doesn’t fucking matter. Tonight is the real show. Tonight is not only the night he becomes a legend in everyone else’s eyes, but it’s also the night he puts this god damn disastros nightmare to bed.
Fuck the astros. This is the team that tried to exploit a hurricane to force out of the playoffs and then slandered us when we didn’t play along. They’re on the verge of making the tank job en vogue for the one sport that doesn’t need it. Their victory would bring joy to a city that deserves none. It’s dumbfounding how Houston can take all their resources and great climate and manage to turn it into nothing but a dull, obesity and power line infested dump. It’s where A&M fans graduate to pretend their lives mean something. They deserve nothing good.
After all these years of watching Darvish make houston his bitch, it feels good to finally get a chance to see it on the biggest stage of all. Dodgers -160, lock that shit down.