Zeke’s Been Feeding Himself Kills in Some Badass Warzone Wins

We’re still in the offseason but that doesn’t stop Zeke from cranking out some sick highlights for Cowboy Nation:

What a player. What a competitor. You can tell by the way he licks his lips while killing that ‘Feed Me’ is more than a football mantra – it’s a life mantra.

I’m certain I’ve played this game more than Zeke and I feel alright about my skills, but he’s still as better than me at Warzone as he is at NFL football. The C4 throws. The confidence in the final circles. The swagger to assassinate that motherfucker with a finishing move. It’s a classic example of how most great athletes aren’t just great at the sport they play; they’re great at anything remotely resembling a competition.


Partying is a competitive sport for most bros and Zeke has been no exception throughout all his prior offseasons. This year however, he’s been forced to channel that energy into video games and has had the quietest summer since he’s been drafted. That hasn’t stopped scumbag outlets like SI from continuing to slander his name, so we’re getting used to the fact that people will be after his character for the rest of his career.

By all public accounts over the past four years, Zeke has shown nothing but class. Interviews, All or Nothing footage, streams, mic’d up segments – they’ve always portrayed a calm, chill, happy-go-lucky beacon of utter confidence. He doesn’t want trouble, but haters are bringing it to him anyways because they’re convinced he’s a monster whenever we can’t see. At this point, there’s nothing we can do about until the haters have to kiss our rings.


What is worth getting riled up over is the other kind of slander Zeke’s faced this summer – that of his play on the football field. The most egregious culprit is Next Gen Stats, which is owned by washing r-word fan Jeff Bezos. They had a competition to come up with a new stat, and they awarded it some fucking nerds in Austria who have never watched a down of football in their lives. Their new stat, ‘expected rushing yards’, doesn’t even rank Zeke in the top 10. Dumb fucking nerds.

Ahead of Zeke in their rankings is Carlos Hyde, Mark Ingram, Leonard Fournette, and Chris Carson. Utterly ridiculous. Clearly analytics has a long ass way to go to be as meaningful in football as it is in other sports, and until then we should let these euro nerds stick to soccer. I’m with Zeke’s mom on this one…