Inter Miami Had the Worst Start in MLS History but Will Be Dominating the World Soon Enough

Later this century when Inter Miami is the most famous soccer team in the world, an interesting footnote in our history will be the record setting futility in our start to MLS. We’ve tallied five losses in five matches with three total goals scored. Not good, but also not as bad as it seems.

Our first loss was about as heroic as a franchise opener could be given the circumstances. In the second match vs DC United, we looked to be up 2-0, but our second goal was disallowed and then turned into a red card because of a handball minutes earlier (highlights of that bullshit if you care). In the MLS is Back Tourney, we were plagued by dirty play, trash refs, and a slight lack of talent. All three games were one goal losses with the first two happening in the final 30 minutes.

It’s not so bad. We played well, but we need more players to start winning. Expansion teams always have to write off their first seasons, but this was a write off season for every team. Good timing if you ask me!

Our big preseason transfer, Rodolfo Pizarro, was pretty decent in the #10 (attacking midfielder) role. He was previously a big star down in Mexico, including on the Pachuca team that broke FC Dallas’s heart in 2018. He also has a badass Joker pose for celebrating goals…

Pizarro alone isn’t enough to make us good, but someone with an even more famous mouth is just a year away from joining us for free.

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Get your hate in now before Inter Miami starts dominating the world. There’s not much time left.



FC Dallas Update – my other team, FC Dallas, did not play in the MLS is Back tournament because the state of Texas was covid-hoaxing the entire state of June. It’s too bad, because the way it’s played out we would probably still be in this thing. Oh well.

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  1. Pingback: How Barca’s Beatdown Fuels the Rise of Inter Miami – 7th Floor Krewe

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