Sonny Scores Four to Massacre Southampton

Sunday was a beautiful morning for Spurs, and especially for Son…

Four goals. FOUR! Within just 26 minutes. What a game.

Sonny’s finishes were superb, but all four assists from Kane were a treat as well.

The past two seasons have been frustrating as hell whenever Son and Kane were on the field together. Both seemed to play better alone, but both are too talented to sit. Sunday was encouraging to say the least.

Kane’s passing has always been criminally underrated. We started seeing more long feeds from him during the covid matches, and now Son is finding the rhythm to link up on the reg. It’s good to see them back at it.

Charlie Eccleshare of the Athletic wrote a sick article about Kane’s role shifting further back the field to do what Eriksen used to do. I love it. Kane can poach with the best, but this move activates our wingers much better.

Son, Bergwijn, Moura, and now Bale. That’s some serious counterattack assets to link up with. Kane for 100 assists this year.



Well well well… Would ya look at that? And also this…

Crybaby Ndombele is gonna stop sucking? Holy shit, we might be really fucking good this year!

Sonny Scores Four to Massacre Southampton

Tottenham Scrape by Some Dirty Bulgars in Europa League

Spursdays are back this year with Tottenham in the Europa league. Yesterday, they played a Bulgarian team (Lokomotiv Plovdiv) that they have some mutual history with in the form of Bulgarian striker Dimitar Berbatov.

This dude played for Tottenham before my time (2006), but fans on the internet adore him. I looked up some highlights and I have to concur.

Tottenham fans weren’t the only ones to adore him. Five years before arriving there, Lokomotiv Plovdiv’s owner had his heart set on signing the kid. It was dangerous for Berbatov though, because Plovdiv’s owner was part of the Bulgarian mob and had him kidnapped.


in a remarkable story that would not look out of place in a Hollywood thriller, the youngster was kidnapped by the Bulgarian mafia. The man behind the kidnapping was Georgi Iliev, the owner of Bulgarian side Lokomotiv Plovdiv. His motivation was simple – intimidate the youngster, whose talents were quite apparent, into joining his club. Though Berbatov’s father resolved the situation, the younger felt he had been, even at this early stage, banished from Bulgaria.

What the hell, man?


That owner is dead now, but it appears the team is still dirty as fuck. They took a 1-0 lead on us in the 70th minute (which would have been scary as hell if fans were allowed in), but blew it away ten minutes later with two red cards at the same time.

Or shall I say, spat it away?

The first was an intentional handball for the tying PK. The second occurred right before the PK took place, when one of their players spit in the face of crybaby Tanguy Ndombele.

Spitting in the face? What the fuck? That’s messed up enough in normal times, but in covid times? Damn that’s dark.

Spurs have had enough trouble with covid as it is, apparently not having any real preseason practices because all our players caught the rona. And now these Bulgars are trying to make the outbreak worse. Fuck that.

At least we won though. Crybaby Tanguy did something good for once and scored the winner. Sweet


Overall a brutal start to the season for Spurs. No preseason, 0-1 loss to Everton, and now barely scraping by against these Bulgars. Not a good look and not living up to any hype from the the All or Nothing doc.

Am I worried though? Hahaha. Fuck no. I feel like a Cavs fan in 2014. This franchise is saved!

Tottenham Scrape by Some Dirty Bulgars in Europa League

We’re on to Inter Miami

Welp, it looks like we’re on to Inter Miami season as the Spurs campaign is all but in a coffin.  Getting healthy from covid gave us a lot of hope, but the season was already too fucked.  Running the table over the final six games might give us a shot at Champions League, especially considering that Sheffield have hopes themselves now as they play most of our competitors in remaining H2Hs.  But it’s doubtful.

Spurs actually did show some heart early on.  We played like the way better team in the first half except for the one time we fucked up like we have all season.  Even after that, it looked like we fought back with an immediate equalizer until VAR and that stupid handball rule screwed us.  It was the worst overturning of a goal I’ve ever in VAR so far.  Except, well… this one against us back in November

Five whole minutes to confirm that Sheffield was a millimeter offside.  And that is why we do not have the right to complain about VAR against Sheffield (or ever after Champion’s League last year.  I like VAR!  Just not for these stupid meticulous handball checks).

That first Sheffield game was the single worst game I’ve ever experienced as a fan.  Robbing one of the poor teams over bullshit like that and yet we still couldn’t win.  It was so embarrassing that Poch, our beloved Moses and Messiah, had to be sacked right afterwards.

In the second fixture on Thursday, the reverse happened.  However, despite being the deeper, healthier, and far more talented squad with five subs available, we collapsed in the same way we did back in November.  These two games have been a microcosm of the entire Spurs season – one that should be forgotten forever. 

The season is over, and we’ll be preparing for next year with a lot of questions regarding both players and manager.  I do think things will be better.  Over the past five years, we’ve played a schedule as rigorous as the super rich teams, but without any depth and no reprieves on international breaks.  With a frenetic, high energy press for most of that.  Getting to 2nd place last year was incredible and beyond our wildest dreams, but the tank was emptied.  Missing out on Europe for a season could be a blessing in disguise.

Until then, we turn our eyes to the beloved Inter Miami.  

+3300 odds to win the ‘MLS Is Back’?  A summer tournament in Florida?  Lock. It. Up!!  At least one of our teams will be playing Champion’s League next year.

We’re on to Inter Miami

Crybaby Tanguy Ndombele Says He Will Never Play for Mourinho Again

Here is a full compilation of Tanguy Ndombele’s highlights from the 2019-2020 season

That’s it. It’s just that one highlight. Don’t get me wrong, it was awesome and was the very first game of the season and the greatest first impression for a record signing ever. But after that – just a bunch of injuries and a big bag of nothing.

Remember in 2017 when Rougned Odor hit two home runs on Opening Day and then proceeded to have the worst statistical season in baseball history?  Well I do.  Ndombele’s Spurs season was kind of like that.  He is the Rougie Odor of EPL, but way more expensive.

Fortunately by the grace of god, last summer’s transfers also included a player of the same age and position as Ndombele – Giovani Lo Celso – and he is fucking awesome.  This Four Four Two article explains how awesome he is better than I could ever do, and it will have any Spurs fan running through a brick wall.  Since the restart, he’s only looked better.

So when news came down that Ndombele said he will never play for Mourinho again, it wasn’t that concerning.  People want to raise alarms about Mourinho and his history of clashing with players, most notably his recent feud with Pogba with ManU, but there are some key differences between the two.  (1) Mourinho always had Pogba’s back in public, while with Ndombele he’s not been shy to give an honest public scathing.  (2) Pogba showed flashes of brilliance, while Ndombele has that one sick goal and nothing else.

In fact, looking back on the Pogba saga, I think Mourinho handled it in a commendable manner.  The media hates him because he’s an arrogant asshole, but he always speaks the truth (I love him).  Pogba was an overpaid little shit until the 2018 World Cup when he finally accepted the role that Mourinho always pushed him to be in.  Pogba is thriving now because of it, but Mourinho was sacked before this came to fruition.  Maybe if ManU had Captain Hugo instead of de Gea, things would be different.

Still, it’s a bit disappointing that after shocking the world and making it all the way to 2nd place in Europe, we finally had some cash to splash and our record signing turns out to be a dud.  That’s why we should’ve gone harder for the sure thing in Dybala, but alas that is in the past.  And because of Lo Celso, it won’t be so bad taking a loss to transfer Tanguy out of here.  Barcelona, PSG, and Bayern Munich have already inquired about possible swaps or transfers.

*record screech!!!*

Wait a minute waittt a minnuttte…  Barca, PSG, and Bayern?  Those are some pretty damn prestigious clubs to be interested in a player who’s barely played.  Maybe we are underrating the talent that made him our record signing in the first place?

Mourinho spoke on it yesterday and reminded the press that great teams need rotational depth to win their trophies.  When healthy, we have that for the first time ever (thanks covid!).  He compared the situation to Luka Modric’s first year at Madrid, during which he was widely criticized before becoming one of the best players of all time.  He also said that Tanguay will play today.  I hope he does, he plays well, and he stops being a whiny baby from here on out so we can be great.

Crybaby Tanguy Ndombele Says He Will Never Play for Mourinho Again

Who Sucks Worse – West Ham or That ManU Ref?

Spurs win 2-0 vs West Ham in a game that was much more nerve wracking in real life than it was on paper.  Two thirds possession and 15 total shots, but none of them actually hit the target.  Fortunately, West Ham sucks balls and we forced an own goal.  It was deserved.  That old ‘pucks on net’ hockey adage came to life in soccer form.

Even after the lead, it remained nerve wracking because this is Spurs in our season of spare.  West Ham hit the post, but we can just block that one single play out of our mind and remember us closing out in perfect form.  None of the bad things we’re used to seeing happen actually happened.  We look so good when that happens!

One week of restart is in and life definitely feels sweeter for us.  Sure, West Ham sucks, but they don’t suck nearly as much as that corrupt ManU ref on Friday.  I never had access to watch those 2006 rigged Serie A matches, but now I can confirm exactly what they must have looked like.  Corners turned into goal kicks.  Dirty ass play with no cards given.  Penalty kicks for breathing on players.  We new it would happen, but it still stung.  Thank god for VAR as a loss would’ve been catastrophic.

Four points in two games is not the world beater pace we need to make Champions League, but it’s a damn good start considering we deserved six.  We cheer for Sheffield or draw in their match vs ManU tomorrow, and then we can beat them next Thursday to make this race verrry interestinggg…

Sheffield also has FA cup on Sunday, so we’ll have a fatigue advantage on top of the depth advantage we already have.  Wolves?  I’m trying not to think about them, just like nobody wants to think about the fact that Lester is falling apart.  Let’s pray that ManU match rigging was a one game deal and we get a result from Sheffield tomorrow.  Then, this race is fucking on.

Observations and ANALysis:

Kane did not look good at all on Friday and I was starting to worry that his age 26 was more like an NFL RB’s age 26.  That all vanished yesterday as he looked like a world beater again.  Tons of great through balls and strikes despite not getting a finisher until, when he was visibly exhausted in the 82nd minute, he knocked home that sprinting goal to make him confident as fuck for the rest of the season.  He’s one of our own and he scores when he wants.  Love him 🥰

Son completed his compulsory military service over quarantine and was ranked in the top five of his 157 person class.  He probably played a role in KJU’s disappearance during that time too.  What a badass.  His goal yesterday was nifty as hell, even if it was a hair offsides.

-I’m gonna try and explain Sissoko’s importance through these two gifs:

-Given those three points above and that all three players were supposed to be out for the season, it’s clear no team has benefited more from this pandemic than Spurs.  As long as I keep my job, nobody I know dies, and we finish the job to make champions league, I will be a happy camper.  I will keep drinking coronas during the games as a good luck charm.

-Two games, two sets of well-executed tactics (out of one 4-2-3-1 formation).  We played typical Mourinho-ball on Friday, but yesterday we were forced to do the opposite.  NBC’s halftime commentators alluded to the struggles that Mourinho’s ManU and Chelsea teams had against bus parking, citing the emphasis on countering not jiving with the technical play it takes to break down deep blocks.

Spurs allayed those concerns for two main reason: (1) we have a lot of great dribblers when healthy  (2) Davies and especially Aurier were great on the wings, giving us extra width and numbers to get open.  A very possible third reason is that West Ham is trash, so let’s hope we keep this up throughout a remaining schedule of mostly teams that suck a little bit less than West Ham.

-I fucking love the new Dutch kid Bergwijn.  The internet may have been more focused on De Gea’s weak hands, but that strike on Friday was still absolutely nasty.  Unfortunately, it seems ManU put a bounty on him after because the ref was in their pocket, and he had to be subbed out after a brutally dirty tackle left him limping (no foul called).  He was a sub yesterday and had a good defensive play during our close out.

Dier at CB, so far is a rock?  It’s definitely a more natural position for him than CDM, where he was too slow and clumsy.  I’m not ready yet to be comfortable with him, but am getting much less uncomfortable.  The Twitter account ‘TranSPURS’ has some good videos of his job vs both ManU and West Ham.

-Our beloved captain Hugo is looking as good as he’s ever been.  That £15k guard dog he bought over quarantine must’ve helped with his confidence.

-It is hilarious that West Ham is getting relegated!  Fuck em.

Who Sucks Worse – West Ham or That ManU Ref?

Dele Suspended for Friday Because the World Is Rigged Against Spurs

Dele Alli has been killing it under Mourinho this season, but he won’t be available for Friday’s ManU mega match because he made a coronavirus joke on Snapchat back in February. Surely it must’ve been race related if it warranted a suspension, but that is still confusing given his partnership in the worlds greatest bromance

Turns out his friends were giving him shit for wearing a mask to the airport because it was still only February 6th at the time. He took a Snapchat of an Asian man coughing and put a caption of ‘corona whattt’ to prove to his friends he wasn’t overreacting. The FA deemed it wasn’t racist, but it was still offensive enough for suspension because it made light of corona. On February 6th… While that scumbag Kyle Walker gets nothing for having sex parties during lockdown.

Obviously the real reason is the ballooning debt of over $500m happening at the worst possible time in modern history. Desperate for champions league revenue and scared shitless with Mourinho standing in the way of that, their good friends in the FA threw out a life line.  So not only do we lose our best player, but the refs will likely be corrupted as well.

We also had a scrimmage with Reading canceled because they have covid-positive players.  Mourinho had a plan for two friendlies (one already took place vs Norwich) to test out two starting XIs before the ManU game.  It turns out he only gets one look because of this.  Not ideal.

The problems keep piling up for Spurs, but it’s not like we aren’t used to that.  On the bright side, we have all three of Kane, Son, and Sissoko back from the dead and ready to save the season.  We’ve also had this month of dedicated practice for Mighty Mou to finally be able to train his tactics.  The odds may be stacked against us, but ManU+refs are going to get a run for their money.

Dele Suspended for Friday Because the World Is Rigged Against Spurs