inter miami

Inter Miami Gets First Ever Win; Somehow Suarez Is Spurning Us?

Wilbanks,

May be a bit belated as MLS has taken a backseat to playoff sports, but I would be remiss to not cover the very first win of the future most famous franchise in the world.

It happened two Saturdays ago against Orlando City SC, who were runners up in the ‘MLS is Back’ tourney. Always good to beat your rivals.

Here is the play of the game. Beautiful cross from Ben Sweat, beautiful header by Julian Carranza, and most of all beautiful commentating from the legendary Ray Hudson…

The ultimate game winner came from our star Mexican Designated Player Rodolfo Pizarro. He celebrated by going into the stands and posing with a cutout of a lady fan. Pretty tight…

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I wrote a couple weeks ago about our open offer to Suarez and how dumb it would be for him to turn us down. At the time, he wanted to eke out one more year at Barca, but the new manager is cleaning house and he’s looking for a new team.

Instead of immediately moving to Miami and taking up the opportunity of a lifetime, Suarez is trying to move to Turin and play for Juventus. What the fuck?

Don’t get me wrong, Juventus will be awesome with him linking up with Ronaldo and Dybala. He might get them that elusive Champions League trophy and be a hero in Italy. But that probably won’t happen. They just lost to Lyon, they’re old as shit, and their best midfielder just signed with… us!

In fact, chances are Suarez is part of a colossal failure where Juve fails to win Serie A for the first time in ten years. The reason? Serie A got good again last year for the first time since that streak started.

Why bother with Italy, Suarez? If/when it doesn’t work out, you’ll be closer to 40 than 30 and regretting the chance you passed up at becoming a Miami icon. Come to Florida, keep speaking Spanish, live a dream life and make some history. Fuck Italy bro.

Inter Miami Gets First Ever Win; Somehow Suarez Is Spurning Us?

How Barca’s Beatdown Fuels the Rise of Inter Miami

Wilbanks, ,

There’s a lot of soul searching going on after this Barca blowout. Me for actually believing in them and betting on them, but most importantly Suarez for his open offer to make history for Inter Miami.

When I wrote about this a couple weeks ago, Suarez was telling media that he still wanted to stay in Barcelona. There’s one year left on his deal, but there’s a clause in his contract to automatically renew if he plays for 60% or more of Barca’s minutes next season.

Barca doesn’t want that to happen because they’re old as shit. Suarez (33), Pique (33), Vidal (33), Messi (33), Rakitic (32), Busquets (32), Alba (31). Almost all of their starting XI is aging out and they need to clear the wage bill for younger players.

Suarez himself should also be rethinking his future at Barca after yesterday’s debacle. They’re not getting any better and he’s already won everything there is to win there. Why stick around as an old man on a declining squad when you have a chance to be the first icon on the future most famous team in the world?

And make no mistake, this is an opportunity of a lifetime for Suarez. Everyone who lives in Europe dreams of living in Miami. How could any famous soccer player not dream of being the first famous Miami soccer player? One person I know agrees with me is superstar midfielder Blaise Matuidi, who just signed last week…

Siiiiiiiiicckk

Matuidi was a starter for team France, who won the World Cup, and for Juventus, who have won the past nine Serie A titles. He’s really fucking good, but if you don’t believe me I can prove it to you right here…

An 84 rated FIFA player can start for any team in the world. The best player in MLS is (was) LAFC striker Carlos Vela with an 83 rating. Matuidi is the new best player in MLS. A lockdown defensive midfielder with world class distribution skills, AKA the perfect teammate for any attacking player like Suarez.

Apparently Matuidi and David Beckham were boys together at PSG in 2013, which is one of the reasons he’s taking a giant pay cut for a salary of only $1.5M a year. That’s huge, because MLS only allows a team to have three ‘Designated Players’ without salary cap restrictions. Miami has one DP slot left, and it’s open right now for Suarez. He’d be dumb as shit to turn it down.

World domination is coming sooner than you think.

How Barca’s Beatdown Fuels the Rise of Inter Miami

Inter Miami Had the Worst Start in MLS History but Will Be Dominating the World Soon Enough

Wilbanks, , , 1 Comment

Later this century when Inter Miami is the most famous soccer team in the world, an interesting footnote in our history will be the record setting futility in our start to MLS. We’ve tallied five losses in five matches with three total goals scored. Not good, but also not as bad as it seems.

Our first loss was about as heroic as a franchise opener could be given the circumstances. In the second match vs DC United, we looked to be up 2-0, but our second goal was disallowed and then turned into a red card because of a handball minutes earlier (highlights of that bullshit if you care). In the MLS is Back Tourney, we were plagued by dirty play, trash refs, and a slight lack of talent. All three games were one goal losses with the first two happening in the final 30 minutes.

It’s not so bad. We played well, but we need more players to start winning. Expansion teams always have to write off their first seasons, but this was a write off season for every team. Good timing if you ask me!

Our big preseason transfer, Rodolfo Pizarro, was pretty decent in the #10 (attacking midfielder) role. He was previously a big star down in Mexico, including on the Pachuca team that broke FC Dallas’s heart in 2018. He also has a badass Joker pose for celebrating goals…

Pizarro alone isn’t enough to make us good, but someone with an even more famous mouth is just a year away from joining us for free.

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Get your hate in now before Inter Miami starts dominating the world. There’s not much time left.

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FC Dallas Update – my other team, FC Dallas, did not play in the MLS is Back tournament because the state of Texas was covid-hoaxing the entire state of June. It’s too bad, because the way it’s played out we would probably still be in this thing. Oh well.

Inter Miami Had the Worst Start in MLS History but Will Be Dominating the World Soon Enough