Deja Vu in Mavs Playoff Debut

Deja vu – the story of an MFFL

Awesome way to kick off a playoff career. The more things change, the more the stay the god damned same. Why is this always happening to the poor little Mavericks?

We are the Saints of the NFL. One glorious banner from one of the greatest sports stories ever and we’ll always be thankful for that, but so many others were taken away by refs.

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We had 2014 vs the Spurs. That series was ruined by a Dejuan Blair ejection/suspension for accidentally grazing his leg against someone in the slightest of all kicking motions. We lost in seven to a Spurs team that Lebron fanboys will tell you was the greatest team of all time.

We had the Cristal Taylor series vs the 09 Thuggets. That was when the refs decided to go blind and ignore a blatant intentional foul to let Melo win a pivotal game 3. We lost in six to what Knicks fans will say was the greatest player of that time.

We had Danny Crawford bragging in Tim Donaghy’s book about the Mavs going 2-16 in his games playoff games. That record, based on point spread simulations, had a 0.5% chance of playing out.

And then obviously the 2006 finals

I thought this shit was supposed to stop when David Stern died. I guess it didn’t. If this is what playoff basketball is all about, then it’s no surprise that NBA ratings keep floating down the toilet. Fix this shit.

In other news, Luka went 42-7-9. He broke the record for points in a playoff debut. He’s just 21. Pretty fucking sick. Hopefully the rest of the series will be 5 on 5 instead of 5 on 8.

Deja Vu in Mavs Playoff Debut

Who Sucks Worse – West Ham or That ManU Ref?

Spurs win 2-0 vs West Ham in a game that was much more nerve wracking in real life than it was on paper.  Two thirds possession and 15 total shots, but none of them actually hit the target.  Fortunately, West Ham sucks balls and we forced an own goal.  It was deserved.  That old ‘pucks on net’ hockey adage came to life in soccer form.

Even after the lead, it remained nerve wracking because this is Spurs in our season of spare.  West Ham hit the post, but we can just block that one single play out of our mind and remember us closing out in perfect form.  None of the bad things we’re used to seeing happen actually happened.  We look so good when that happens!

One week of restart is in and life definitely feels sweeter for us.  Sure, West Ham sucks, but they don’t suck nearly as much as that corrupt ManU ref on Friday.  I never had access to watch those 2006 rigged Serie A matches, but now I can confirm exactly what they must have looked like.  Corners turned into goal kicks.  Dirty ass play with no cards given.  Penalty kicks for breathing on players.  We new it would happen, but it still stung.  Thank god for VAR as a loss would’ve been catastrophic.

Four points in two games is not the world beater pace we need to make Champions League, but it’s a damn good start considering we deserved six.  We cheer for Sheffield or draw in their match vs ManU tomorrow, and then we can beat them next Thursday to make this race verrry interestinggg…

Sheffield also has FA cup on Sunday, so we’ll have a fatigue advantage on top of the depth advantage we already have.  Wolves?  I’m trying not to think about them, just like nobody wants to think about the fact that Lester is falling apart.  Let’s pray that ManU match rigging was a one game deal and we get a result from Sheffield tomorrow.  Then, this race is fucking on.

Observations and ANALysis:

Kane did not look good at all on Friday and I was starting to worry that his age 26 was more like an NFL RB’s age 26.  That all vanished yesterday as he looked like a world beater again.  Tons of great through balls and strikes despite not getting a finisher until, when he was visibly exhausted in the 82nd minute, he knocked home that sprinting goal to make him confident as fuck for the rest of the season.  He’s one of our own and he scores when he wants.  Love him 🥰

Son completed his compulsory military service over quarantine and was ranked in the top five of his 157 person class.  He probably played a role in KJU’s disappearance during that time too.  What a badass.  His goal yesterday was nifty as hell, even if it was a hair offsides.

-I’m gonna try and explain Sissoko’s importance through these two gifs:

-Given those three points above and that all three players were supposed to be out for the season, it’s clear no team has benefited more from this pandemic than Spurs.  As long as I keep my job, nobody I know dies, and we finish the job to make champions league, I will be a happy camper.  I will keep drinking coronas during the games as a good luck charm.

-Two games, two sets of well-executed tactics (out of one 4-2-3-1 formation).  We played typical Mourinho-ball on Friday, but yesterday we were forced to do the opposite.  NBC’s halftime commentators alluded to the struggles that Mourinho’s ManU and Chelsea teams had against bus parking, citing the emphasis on countering not jiving with the technical play it takes to break down deep blocks.

Spurs allayed those concerns for two main reason: (1) we have a lot of great dribblers when healthy  (2) Davies and especially Aurier were great on the wings, giving us extra width and numbers to get open.  A very possible third reason is that West Ham is trash, so let’s hope we keep this up throughout a remaining schedule of mostly teams that suck a little bit less than West Ham.

-I fucking love the new Dutch kid Bergwijn.  The internet may have been more focused on De Gea’s weak hands, but that strike on Friday was still absolutely nasty.  Unfortunately, it seems ManU put a bounty on him after because the ref was in their pocket, and he had to be subbed out after a brutally dirty tackle left him limping (no foul called).  He was a sub yesterday and had a good defensive play during our close out.

Dier at CB, so far is a rock?  It’s definitely a more natural position for him than CDM, where he was too slow and clumsy.  I’m not ready yet to be comfortable with him, but am getting much less uncomfortable.  The Twitter account ‘TranSPURS’ has some good videos of his job vs both ManU and West Ham.

-Our beloved captain Hugo is looking as good as he’s ever been.  That £15k guard dog he bought over quarantine must’ve helped with his confidence.

-It is hilarious that West Ham is getting relegated!  Fuck em.

Who Sucks Worse – West Ham or That ManU Ref?

Dele Suspended for Friday Because the World Is Rigged Against Spurs

Dele Alli has been killing it under Mourinho this season, but he won’t be available for Friday’s ManU mega match because he made a coronavirus joke on Snapchat back in February. Surely it must’ve been race related if it warranted a suspension, but that is still confusing given his partnership in the worlds greatest bromance

Turns out his friends were giving him shit for wearing a mask to the airport because it was still only February 6th at the time. He took a Snapchat of an Asian man coughing and put a caption of ‘corona whattt’ to prove to his friends he wasn’t overreacting. The FA deemed it wasn’t racist, but it was still offensive enough for suspension because it made light of corona. On February 6th… While that scumbag Kyle Walker gets nothing for having sex parties during lockdown.

Obviously the real reason is the ballooning debt of over $500m happening at the worst possible time in modern history. Desperate for champions league revenue and scared shitless with Mourinho standing in the way of that, their good friends in the FA threw out a life line.  So not only do we lose our best player, but the refs will likely be corrupted as well.

We also had a scrimmage with Reading canceled because they have covid-positive players.  Mourinho had a plan for two friendlies (one already took place vs Norwich) to test out two starting XIs before the ManU game.  It turns out he only gets one look because of this.  Not ideal.

The problems keep piling up for Spurs, but it’s not like we aren’t used to that.  On the bright side, we have all three of Kane, Son, and Sissoko back from the dead and ready to save the season.  We’ve also had this month of dedicated practice for Mighty Mou to finally be able to train his tactics.  The odds may be stacked against us, but ManU+refs are going to get a run for their money.

Dele Suspended for Friday Because the World Is Rigged Against Spurs