Four Coping Thoughts to Help Handle Our Nation’s Failure

Sad USA

Dark days obviously for any soccer fan around these parts.  I’ve been close to the edge of a cliff lately, but there are a few positive thoughts keeping me in there.  I’d like to share them for anyone else who feels the same way.  I call them the Four Fs…

Fans – It’s quite embarrassing how few sports fans here actually care about our national team.  Sure the sport is growing amongst kids (too ADD for commercials), but most American sports fans are already set in their ways.  Qualifying for Russia would’ve made as much of an impact as qualifying for Brazil did – none.  Fuck these people.  Our society geeks out over shitty Olympic basketball tournaments, but thinks it’s no big deal that we suck in the most prestigious sport.   It’s annoying as fuck and it will honestly be nice watching the World Cup with only the chill fans around.

Feminists – Not gonna lie, it’s gonna be hilarious watching the crazy feminists freak out about the women’s team still getting paid less than the men.  Disclaimer: I like women and don’t hate all feminists – only the dumb ones.

Fox – They’re on the hook for $400M to broadcast a tournament without our team.  Good..  Fuck Fox.  Their soccer coverage is a god damn abomination.  Their broadcasters suck.  Their panel sucks.  Their production sucks.  And they introduced ‘rules experts’ into the broadcasts for Copa America.  Seriously?  That’s already dumb enough as it is for football.  Fuck Fox.

Federation – We’re burning it all to the ground wooohh!! Fuck Sunil Gulati.  Fuck Bruce Arena.  Fuck MLS.  Fuck America I wish the British had won the revolution.

That’s as much positivity as my brain has right now.  Hope it helped!