American Wonder Boy Pulisic Signs with Chelsea, Now Owned by a Russian


Christian Pulisic signed with Chelsea yesterday in a landmark move that the American soccer community has never witnessed before.  It will be annoying as hell over the years listening to the fans on this side of the pond as Chelsea is the franchise for chode fans over here and it sucks that he’ll be on their team, but it’s still a move that had to be made.  Overall, there’s a lot of mixed emotions to process over this move as an American soccer fan.

From a marketing perspective, it was absolutely crucial for Pulisic to transfer out of Bundesliga and into the EPL.  It is by far the most accessible league to watch and bringing our wonder kid to the NBC streams can and should lead to an explosion in domestic viewers that was previously inconceivable outside of a World Cup tourney.

Chelsea also offers Pulisic the best opportunity amongst the elite EPL teams for immediate starting minutes, but they carry some organizational risk in the fact that they’ve had opportunities like this with many other recent prodigies and have found ways to shit the bed with most of them…

chelsea forwards


However, my biggest fear lies with Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich.  He is one of Putin’s richest cronies and now he owns our child prodigy.  It’s not out of the realm of possibility that Putin’s orders are to use the guise of Chelsea’s recent player development issues to stash Pulisic on the bench and block his rise to superstardom before 2022.  I mean the Russians have already tried ruining Star Wars for god’s sake; we cannot let this campaign they’re on to seep into our sports.

It is on us as a nation to monitor this situation diligently.  It’s on the press to raise alarms if Pulisic is kept off the pitch. It’s on us as fans citizens to ride the press and make sure our child savior gets the support he needs.  Even if you don’t care much for soccer, it’s your duty as an American citizen to stay on top of this.  Who knows how important 2022 will be.  A lot of people say we are losing respect around the globe as we slide away from hegemony.  There might be a lot of truth to that.  The next World Cup could and should serve as a symbol of our unceasing cultural and athletic prowess, and that shit can bleed over to politics as well.  Be on alert fellow citizens.  Protect our prodigy!

American Wonder Boy Pulisic Signs with Chelsea, Now Owned by a Russian

Saints Awaken a Sleeping Giant and Now America’s Team Is Headed Back to the Super Bowl

Jaylon Smith X

The Saints have a soft spot in my heart and I do feel a little bit bad for all my buddies in New Orleans who got their hopes up this year.  The Saints have had a good run but the clock struck Primetime on Thursday and the Cowboys graced the stage like a flagship franchise in a tone setting victory.  Saints fans should be very proud of this season and the MVP Brees will win, but anyone who saw what I saw on Thursday knows that hardware won’t be accompanied by Lombardi #2.

America’s Team hasn’t lived up to its moniker for awhile, but the foundation has always been there and the pieces are finally falling into place for us to be on track to the Super Bowl stage we belong on.  Our coach is still dog shit and there’s a chance he fucks up the Philly game on Sunday, but if we get through that then this train will be rolling too hard to stop.

The defense is turning into one of the best I’ve ever seen.  Byron Jones is basically impossible to complete a pass on and has reached young perennial all-pro status which is pretty sweet.  The pass rush is tops in the league.  When David Irving is playing it’s just flat out scary from all sides.  Fuck his girl.

The unit that makes me the hardest by far is the linebackers.  Leighton Vander Esch is basically a lock for the hall of fame now.  Aikman said so during the broadcast but I’m even more confident – he keeps playing like this and we’ll remember this beautiful mountain man as the best linebacker of all time.  Jaylon Smith plays right next to him and is also looking like a future hall of famer.  He was one of the best LB prospects of all time before the Rose Bowl injury, but he looks healthy and dominant now and it looks like we have one of the greatest draft coups in history on our hands.

It was Jaylon Smith who ran down Kamara on 3rd and goal to set up the crucial 4th down stoning that tilted the league’s balance of power our way.  Sean Payton had a chance to take three points and pull the game within one possession.  Who knows what the game would’ve been like if it was closer earlier on?  Fortunately, Payton made an arrogant call leading to a goal line stand that gave our team a confidence and swagger I haven’t seen since the 90s.  He’s made a legendary career out of those calls no doubt, but this one was a major backfire.  Maybe he won’t underestimate our defense in a playoff rematch, but by then it won’t matter.

The only thing and I mean only thing that worries me about this Super Bowl run is shady refs out in LA.  The PSLs and stadium sponsorship deals are big time money, but the Cowboys are big business for the league too.  I think we’ll get a fair game out there especially if it’s in the championship game and not LA’s first ever home playoff game, but this still remains my biggest worry.  Hopefully the bracket falls that way and then I’ll be pretty confident in booking west coast travel for the NFCCG and east coast for the Super Bowl and 2019 will be getting off to a hot start.  Gonna be dope

Saints Awaken a Sleeping Giant and Now America’s Team Is Headed Back to the Super Bowl

Moussa Sissoko Back from Two Year Hiatus of World Domination

Tottenham continued it’s heroic climb out of the champion’s league grave today with a dope ass goal from Christian Erikson

Unbelievable tense game against an Inter squad that is lucky as shit to be ahead of us in the group standing.  After 80’ of domination and no goals it looked to be the same UCL story for the Spurs until this beautiful Danis mother fucken dawg nailed the back of the net.

The best part, tho, was that the goal was set up by a sick run from the sleeping superman himself Moussa Sissoko.  He hasn’t done shit for us in two years, but this clutch time run is all I need to see to know that his two year hiatus of world domination is over.  Watch out everybody else !

I speak for all relatively new Spurs fans (2014 ish) when I say we were rational to believe he was the best free agent signing ever after Euro 2016.  Look at this shit

He was amazing in that tournament.  All the speed we saw in Mbappe this summer we saw an equivalent skill of power in Euro 2016.  It was incredible to see.  So many strikes in the final spoiled by the greatest goalkeeping performance int he history of soccer (besides Howard), don’t @ me older soccer fans

Needless to say, for a team known mostly for frugality and not for big signings, it felt like we had cracked the code Pats style when we signed him from Newcastle after this tournament.  We saw these French people geek out over him while these British Newcastle bums bitch about his attitude.  Yeah right, attitude schmattitude I saw what I saw and that was a god who need to be unleashed in London.

Well, after a couple years and a big bag of nothing to the table, our reserve midfielder decided to have his awakening party today and get back to dominating the world.  Suck it everybody else for every other team.  Start bending the knee to Pochettino’s Army !

Moussa Sissoko Back from Two Year Hiatus of World Domination

Ken Hitchcock Is Back in Our Lives Again (Again)


The Stars lost an OT thriller on the road against Edmonton tonight.  It’s disappointing to not get the full two points against teams as bad as the Oilers, but we’re still holding serve through the end of this brutal road stretch (7 games in 11 days).  A win in Calgary tomorrow and we’ll be coming out hot on the other side.

The real story of this game was Hitch being behind the bench for the Oilers after a surprise hiring last week.  He’ll forever and always be a hero in Dallas, but we’ve still had a lot of mixed emotions about him lately and even for the past two decades for that matter.

After a messy divorce 16 years ago, we hired him last summer with the good times in mind.  We should always be thankful for the glory days that he led and never forget what it’s like to party like is 1999.  It also cannot be understated how important he was as an ambassador of hockey to the city and introducing this great sport to Texas.  However, in a tale as old as time, we remembered that exes are exes for a reason and getting back with them never works.

His leadership will always keep teams focused enough to not suck – we looked pretty awesome midway through last year!  At the same time, his tactics ultimately will leave teams far too short of goals and energy necessary to skate a cup.  Throughout last year’s horrific and historic collapse, we were reminded (again) of the same shortcomings that led three other teams (plus ourselves) to can him before us.

There were some positives from his short stay here.  For example, the team can play competent defense now and that is fairly important.  Seguin, like Modano before him, went from not giving a shit about defense to being a key cog in the penalty kill.  Unfortunately, learning all that defense under Hitchcock means forgetting everything you can do on offense, and that’s just not going to cut it in sports in 2018.

A few months, and only a few months, of Hitch might be the ass kicking that McDavid and the Oilers need for their development.  I hope it works out and he retires one last time this summer on a good note.  Ultimately, however, his chapter in the NHL needs to end before it gets ugly.

Edmonton is supposed to hate Ken Hitchcock because he made that city our bitch every single first round of the playoffs.  Don’t muddy up those memories – for us or for them.  Keep this stint short Ken.

Ken Hitchcock Is Back in Our Lives Again (Again)

Serena Williams (Who Is a New Mother Btw) Throws a Big Momma Bear Hissy Fit


Serena got her ass beat on Saturday night, which is no surprise to anybody who’s been watching her lately.  Yes, she’s been contending, but a simple eye test on her matches reveals a slow, apathetic player who looks like she’d rather be anywhere than on the court.  She used to carry herself with a ferocious competitiveness that only Kobe and MJ could rival in sports.  This summer, she has been the antithesis of that.

The Wimbledon final was one of the worst sports championship matches I’ve ever watched.  Serena was giving up on games left and right.  Unforced errors everywhere.  No motivation in her face, just dull eyes and a tired demeanor.  You wouldn’t know that if you had listened to the broadcast, however.  In their eyes, it’s okay that she dogged the final.  She had just become a MOTHER!

Angelique Kerber wins her first Wimbledon, and the entire ceremony is dedicated to Serena’s motherhood.  Kerber meets the new princess, and all the royals cared about was meeting new mother Serena afterwards.  It was embarrassing.  At that moment, I was certain that women’s sports had reached nadir.  Then Serena somehow made the US Open final and this happened…

This right here is easily the most childish and immature display of sore losing I have ever seen.  And make no mistakes about it, this was clearly a show to mask how terribly she was losing in this final.  Yes, what her coach was doing is commonplace in tennis and it’s somewhat bush league to enforce that, but it also is technically against the rules.  And when you’ve already been docked a warning for sportsmanship, you can’t lose your cool and smash a racket in the middle of a championship match.  Old Serena would’ve known that; New Serena doesn’t care.

In the post-match press conference, Serena tried to turn this into a women’s rights issue.  Huh?  If respecting women means we’re supposed to respect this type of behavior from athletes, then I don’t care about respecting women in this blog.  Time for my real thoughts:

Any man who has ever been in a relationship will immediately relate to this video.  A woman fucks something up, refuses to admit said fuck up, and emotions take over as she lashes out of control at a man.  The man then has to quickly make a logical calculation and set his boundary at the right balance between life as a whipped chump vs life dominated by arguments.  It’s one of the most frustrating parts of life as a man.

Usually, sports is an escape from bullshit like that in life.  Up until this past weekend, women’s tennis even qualified as said sports escape.  A big reason for that is Serena Williams and her incredible career, but this New Serena is a major about-face from that.

If she’s going to continue to behave like this, then she needs to do what’s best for women’s sports as a whole and retire.  It’s probably best for her personal life as well.  After all, she is a mother now.

Serena Williams (Who Is a New Mother Btw) Throws a Big Momma Bear Hissy Fit

Throwback Thursday to Philly Fans Losing Their Mortgate on SB39

It’s the Thursday before the Super Bowl, and Eagles fans are fucking pumped!  Will they finally win their first Super Bowl?  No, they won’t.  But we can still take some time to look back on a couple of memories from the scummiest fans our nation has to offer.

Here we have Michael Irvin getting a spinal cord injury because of the bush league concrete turf at veteran’s stadium.  Oh yeah also the fans cheering on his apparent paralysis and chanting ‘Deion sucks’ when his teammates were trying to pray…

You may hate the Patriots, but I guarantee you I hate the eagles ten times worse.  Every year when they are eliminated from playoff contention, I have my own personal holiday to celebrate.  I think about all the sick Philadelphians that might be lying in their death beds and shit, all realizing that they’re about to die without ever getting to see their beloved Eagles win a Super Bowl.  It makes me happy.  It’s what these scumbags deserve.

Another memory to throw back to – Eagles fans taking out second mortgages to go to Super Bowl 39.  Hahah.  What a bunch of dumb fucken losers.  I hope they all got foreclosed on during the recession.  Must’ve been real worth it to be there live to see Donovan McNabb blow chunks all over the field.  Lol, idiots

Throwback Thursday to Philly Fans Losing Their Mortgate on SB39